Having commitment issues is something that can affect both sexes but what is a commitment-phobe?
Well, it is a person who has certain commitment issues.
More and more men suffer from this problem these days, but it is not uncommon for women to experience it as well.
Luckily, there are signs which can help you know that you are not ready to commit.
Commitment issues can arise because of negative experiences or beliefs that a person might have.
Those are people who are afraid to commit to another person.
By not doing so, it traps them in their own world where they feel secure and where they rarely let someone in.
They constantly battle with their emotions because of their irrational image of what love is and what relationships are.
It doesn’t mean that if you are successful, sociable, and a really funny person to hang out with that you can’t have commitment issues. Quite the contrary.
You might be single now and tell yourself what a great life you have, but everyone needs to have a significant other.
Everybody needs to love and feel how it is to be loved by someone.
You may enjoy those single nights out, partying until sunrise, and meeting a lot of really attractive guys.
I’m not saying there is something wrong with being single and enjoying it; I’m just saying that at the end of the day, when you come home to an empty house, the reason it is empty and you are not in a relationship may just be you.
Those boys you have rejected because they did not live up to your expectations, maybe you drove them away because you have commitment issues.
However, you should not worry, as these problems are solvable.
First, you have to recognize that you have commitment issues and then you can proceed to solve them.
You are afraid of losing your independence
There is nothing wrong with wanting to have independence and be in control of your own future and life.
However, if you are terrified every time you think another person might play a significant role in your life, then you definitely have commitment issues.
Realizing that you have a problem is only a part of the solution. Tackling it and trying to solve it is the other part.
If you are afraid of losing your independence, it really comes down to whether or not you want to have another person in your life.
Also, you have to realize that you need to make sacrifices to please someone else.
If you are afraid of those things, you are a commitment-phobe. You are afraid to open up your heart because someone else broke it once.
You don’t want to feel like that ever again, and you think you’ll lose your independence but that is not true.
What you receive in return is much more beneficial than what you have to lose.
Having love, security, and someone who truly cares about you are what truly matter.
You always try to keep it casual
You know you have commitment issues if you keep it casual, even when you know you like that particular person.
The fear of giving yourself to someone else paralyzes you, yet you are attracted to the guy.
He might be interested to take your relationship to the next level, but you want to keep it casual for as long as possible.
The fact that you might enter a romantic relationship frightens you, so instead, you choose a more relaxed and less intense relationship with that person.
You won’t settle down with someone because you think it will bring unnecessary problems and you try to avoid having any kind of mess in your life.
You deliberately sabotage your relationships
A person who is a commitment-phobe is someone who consciously sabotages any potential relationships with other people.
If you pull away every time your relationship becomes more serious, you have commitment issues that you need to address.
This type of person will go to extreme lengths to avoid having to commit to someone and may even be unfaithful to their partner.
They will do anything they can to sabotage a relationship before it even starts.
Maybe your exes told you that you are the one to blame for the failure of your relationships.
Give someone new the opportunity for a relationship that can grow and blossom. I know it is scary at first, but the benefits outweigh the risks.
You are afraid you might miss other opportunities
You know what they say: ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’. Well, you might be wrong about that.
A woman who has commitment issues might be afraid that if she commits to one person, she might miss out on other great guys who are much better.
Everyone deserves a fair chance. How do you know that the next guy you meet is not the one for you?
How could you know if you don’t give him the opportunity to prove himself?
Getting to know each other will help you decide, but you have to open yourself up to new experiences and new emotions.
I know there are a lot of great guys out there, but don’t end the game before it even begins.
Then if you really miss the dating scene and want to start all over again, at least you can say you gave everyone a fair chance to impress you.
A girl who is afraid to commit will always say she is attracted to guys who are unavailable to her.
This might mean the other person is already in a relationship, under work-related stress, or just emotionally unavailable at the time.
Or it might be he is going through a rough breakup and hasn’t healed yet.
Whatever the reason might be, a girl who is afraid of commitment will jump from one unavailable partner to another because it is easier to find an excuse for a problem you have than to face it.
Once you have recognized your problems, then you can try to fix them.
Start by asking yourself why you have these issues. It might be because of a traumatic experience you had in your childhood.
Or maybe your parents divorced, so your idea of relationships is somewhat skewed.
You believe that every long-term relationship is destined to fail no matter what.
You might have commitment issues because you try to find perfectionism in every relationship and it causes you to be disappointed every time you try to be in one.
Whatever the reason might be, knowing what causes such feelings is the first step toward solving it.
Be honest with yourself, no matter what. If you are not happy, then don’t pretend to be just because you think you have to maintain a certain image.
Despite being satisfied with your own life and saying you are happy, do you long for a partner and a relationship?
It is true that you don’t need anybody else in your life, and you can live happily ever after without a partner, but a significant other can enrich your life.
Giving someone the opportunity to learn about you and truly love you will give you another perspective on life.
Your outlook on life will be more vivid and more lively if you decide to share it with another person.
A relationship is a great way to grow as a person. You might learn some things about yourself that you can’t learn when you are single and alone.
Sometimes you have to lower your expectations of what a ‘real relationship’ looks like.
It’s difficult to understand what a successful relationship is if you have never been in one.
A healthy and successful relationship is one where you don’t run at the first sight of a problem. If you run, you will never find true and lasting love.
A relationship will not solve all of your problems, like it’s portrayed in those Hollywood movies.
You have to make sacrifices because tough times will come and you need to be prepared.
Your partner will make you exceptionally happy from time to time, and sometimes he will disappoint you.
But you are aware that you have been disappointed already.
Being disappointed by your partner means you have to talk things through and solve them together.
The image of a true and happy relationship has become twisted. It is not about holding hands all the time and kissing each other.
Having unrealistic expectations about relationships will lead you to have commitment issues.
If the magic fades, don’t just pull away and disappear from your partner.
Every relationship has its ups and downs.
Eventually, you will need to face the problems at hand. You need to adapt to them and you won’t be comfortable right away.
You might be scared at first, but as time goes by, you will become more sure in your relationship. It will become something you will want to persist with.
The feeling you usually have to end things will simply fade away. And you will be ready to stay not just another week, but another year, and so on.
Leave a comment