Can you fall back in love with your ex? This question has been asked many times and you may have found yourself feeling the same emotions you did back then when you were together.
You may have doubts about it, which is completely normal. When you fall out of love with someone, you want to believe that you won’t have to deal with them ever again, as you broke up for a reason.
At the beginning of that relationship, you were so happy and peaceful. You two made some amazing memories together; you laughed, you cried, you made sure to always make each other happy.
So when you fell apart and showed each other your worst side, you make the decision to split up. Your break-up could’ve been messy, sad, or even a relief.
Either way, you’re quite likely to get flashbacks of your emotions, even when the relationship is over. Years later, you may be plagued with the same feelings.
Can you fall back in love with your ex? Can you forgive them for everything that happened?
All of these questions plague the minds of many women in this world. Especially those who go through extremely bad relationships with men who were absolutely awful to them.
Can those feelings actually resurface and why would you want to feel them again? Or are you just confused because the happy memories make you remember the love you felt?
Can you fall back in love with your ex?
Spoiler alert: Yes. Yes, you can.
You can fall back in love with your ex over the smallest acts of kindness from his side.
Sometimes, people make sure to stay friends with their ex after they break up or they make the decision to reconnect with each other after some time apart.
When this happens, you’ll go through the events and moments that you spent together. There are many stories to tell and even more memories to go through.
He’ll tell you how weird it was for him to live life without you and you’ll tell him how long it took you to get used to sleeping alone.
You were so used to having him around that sleeping in a bed without him felt so strange. You told him that story, not really realizing how much of an impact it can leave.
Stories like these shake up the little pain you feel in your chest whenever you look at him. You have to be honest with yourself and see that those emotions aren’t something that can simply vanish.
You might have thought that you didn’t love him anymore but here we are now. However, remember that you broke up for a reason and that reason was enough to make your entire relationship fall apart.
You weren’t right for each other, or at least it wasn’t the right timing for either of you. At this moment, you’re probably wondering whether you’re even supposed to have these feelings when this person isn’t the right one for you.
However, let me remind you of this: Your rational side is telling you this but your heart still skips a beat when you think of him.
Is there anything you can do about it?
Falling back in love with your ex can be a blessing and a curse at the same time. You want to reignite the flame but you also know that you broke up for a reason.
You’re stressed because you don’t know what you should do. You don’t know whether you should act on those feelings or simply ignore them and you don’t even know whether your emotions are real.
If you want to know whether you’re actually falling in love with him again, then please ask yourself one very important question:
What’s so different about him right now?
You may know that he isn’t good news or that both of you were just too different for the relationship to actually work.
But even though you know that, you’re falling for him. Hard.
So what has changed? Does he think differently than he did before or does he finally see what he did wrong?
He may have changed in a way that makes you love him more, even though you know you shouldn’t.
If nothing has changed – for example, if he’s still being difficult – he’s still the same man he was and none of his thoughts and actions have changed, then you’re just in love with the memory of him.
However, if that’s a completely new man right there in front of you, with a new outlook on life and a completely new agenda, then your emotions are probably real. You’re actually falling in love with your ex again.
This is especially stressful when you’ve done everything to avoid this and to stop it from happening but you’ve still fallen hard and that’s proof that your emotions are real.
Should you act on your feelings?
Should you act on your feelings, even though you’re falling back in love with your ex? That’s a great question actually and you should definitely go through every single possibility.
Think about it. What may happen if you act on your feelings?
Your emotions are telling you to go after him, to text him constantly, to talk to him on the phone.
You want to stalk him on social media, you want to go to his favorite cafe to see whether he’s there, and you definitely want to ask him out on a date.
But how exactly do you do that without outing yourself? Should you really act on your feelings and possibly make a fool of yourself if he doesn’t feel the same way about you?
The one thing that I can recommend to you is to listen to your own heart.
You want to see him? Then go and ask him out.
You want to have coffee with him? You’ll have to make the first move.
You can’t just sit around and expect him to know what you’re thinking. Love doesn’t work like that.
The one thing you just have to keep in mind is the fact that you’re risking getting hurt again.
Are you ready for the possibility of being rejected and feeling your heart fall apart again? This isn’t a small possibility but actually, it’s one that’s quite probable, so be ready for every possible outcome.
However, what’s the worst thing that can happen? If he says no, well, then you’ll at least know that he’s not interested in you anymore.
If you decide against knowing one way or the other, you’ll just keep on tormenting yourself.
You could ask him how he feels about you.
This is a tough one. You may not want to act on your feelings, ask him out, and so on, without knowing whether he feels the same way.
If this man doesn’t feel the same way about you then there’s nothing you can really do but it’s better to know and understand his emotions than to be in situations where you’re confused about his intentions.
Now is the perfect time to sit down with him and talk things through. I know that you’ve probably talked about the things that went on before you split up but you also need to talk right now.
It’s never too late to make things better for you two. When you sit down to talk to him, ask him about his feelings, what his involvement in your life means to him, and how he wants to continue your relationship/friendship.
He can either say that all of his feelings for you are strictly platonic or he can say that he feels the same way about you. If he says that he has feelings toward you as well, then you can live happily ever after.
You can talk things through and find a way to heal your broken hearts and your broken relationship.
What should you do if he doesn’t feel the same way about you?
When you fall back in love with your ex, you’re not really sure what you’d do if he doesn’t feel the same way about you. You question his actions and words because you want to believe that he does love you too.
When he doesn’t feel the same way, it’s devastating.
If you talk to him about this issue and he says that he truly doesn’t love you like that anymore and that his feelings are simply platonic, then you know that you need to stay away from him for some time.
You can’t just continue to dote over him and wait for him to acknowledge your feelings. You also shouldn’t try to force your feelings down his throat; he has the right to reject your advances.
So just move on with your life, save yourself from begging him to forgive you and take you back, and simply realize that it’s really over and done with.
How do you stop falling back in love with your ex?
When you fall back in love with your ex, you don’t want to fall deeper into that hole. Your heart loves him but you also know that he’s not going to reciprocate your feelings any time soon.
So instead of crying over him, let’s find an actual way to stop yourself from falling back in love with him even more.
When you feel the prickling sensation around your heart when you think of him, that’s your cue to walk away and follow these steps as the key to your own liberation.
There’s a way to stop yourself from falling even deeper into this, so that you stop wasting your time on a man who doesn’t feel the same.
1. Remember why you broke up
You may have fallen back in love with your ex-boyfriend because you’ve completely forgotten why you broke up in the first place. You need to remember what happened.
Back then, you probably couldn’t get far enough away from each other. It doesn’t matter who broke up with whom, it still left you feeling devastated.
If he was the one who broke up with you, he left you feeling like you weren’t good enough for him. You cried for weeks or months, while he was out there in the world living his best life.
If you were the one to break up with him, you probably had your own good reasons.
Either you fell out of love, you knew that it wasn’t something that you were looking for, or he might have even been abusive or manipulative toward you at the time.
So why would you want that man back in your life? You broke up for a reason. Let it stay that way.
2. Don’t be friends with him
Being friends with your ex is often impossible, especially when you fall back in love with him while trying to maintain a healthy friendship.
Some people are more than capable of maintaining a friendship with their ex than others and that’s completely fine. Some people were always meant to stay friends and nothing more than that.
That doesn’t have to mean that you should be friends with your ex. You’re obviously suffering through every encounter but the thought of not being friends with him is scary as well.
You want him in your life but that’s obviously only going to hurt you, especially if he doesn’t feel the same way about you.
Know that you have the right to tell him that you can’t stay friends with him. You have the right to tell him that you want to spend some time away from him to collect your thoughts.
If he actually cares about you enough, even as just a friend, he’ll tell you that it’s completely fine and that he understands. Many people need that time apart and obviously, you do too.
This is the hard-hitting reality that washes over you when you fall back in love with your ex. When someone tells you that you need to block him, you want to cry right away.
You feel like social media is the only place where you can still feel connected to him. You’re able to see his photos, see who he’s hanging out with, and you can always see where he’s been.
This information may seem trivial to some people but it’s actually very important to you because you feel close to him somehow.
I get how you’re feeling completely, I really do. But that doesn’t mean that I support your decision.
Instead, I’m going to be one of those people to tell you to block him on social media. You’ll fall in love with him even harder again if you don’t create clear boundaries for yourself.
Finding a way to cut off all communication is the best way for both of you to move on and let your broken hearts heal.
4. Avoid going to places where you may see him
I’m not saying that you’re a stalker but this is something that people do when they fall back in love with their ex. Are you one of those people as well?
You know his favorite spots all around town and you probably know every single one of his habits. You even know when he visits these places.
So what do you do? Like every other lovesick girl, you go straight to those places and you hope you’ll bump into him.
That needs to stop right away or you’ll keep on falling in love with him. Even though you believe that this is harmless, you still remember every time your heart skips a beat when you see him.
You go to his favorite places on purpose and you hope to see him, like a stalker. This is really not all right and it doesn’t help your mental health at all.
You get anxious when you don’t see him and you’re also anxious when you do, so there’s really no good outcome of this situation anymore.
Please don’t go to these places anymore, because it’s true what they say: out of sight, out of mind. If anything, try to avoid them as much as possible.
5. Start living your life to the fullest
The only reason why you’ve found yourself in this situation is that you weren’t living your life to the fullest. You weren’t focused on yourself but rather on a man who you used to love.
This is a very bad thing in the long run. You fell back in love with your ex and you don’t even know how it happened.
But let me tell you this: If you were actively trying to seek out happiness, you wouldn’t have found yourself in this situation. You would instead be somewhere far away or you would be chasing your dreams.
You can’t tell me that he is your dream because we both know that it’s not true. There are many goals you want to achieve, many obstacles you have to conquer, and you need to start today.
Instead of running after a guy who obviously isn’t right for you, you need to learn that once and for all and you have to start longing for a more fulfilled life.
A man will never be able to make you happy if you aren’t happy with your life first. Aren’t there so many things you’ve always wanted to do?
Start a new project or a new hobby? Figure out if you want to go to college?
There’s so much more to life then running after a man.
6. Make sure you always feel your best
There are days when you simply feel godlike. You feel like you could conquer the world in your heels and bring down the most powerful of all warriors.
Those are the days when you dress your best and put on the make-up that you want.
On those days, you walk with your head held just a little bit higher and your back just a little bit straighter. On those days, you don’t feel bad about yourself and you don’t care what other people think of you.
That’s how you need to feel most days. Do everything that’s needed to feel your best.
You have the power to transform your day and then your life with it, so ask yourself this question: What do you need to feel your best today?
Does that include a complete rearrangement of your apartment or does that mean a visit to the hair salon? Whatever you need, you can give it to yourself and you deserve that little spark of happiness.
When you feel your best, you forget for a moment that you’re in love with a man you shouldn’t want. When you fall in love with your ex again, you completely stop taking care of yourself and just focus on him.
That shouldn’t be the case and you know it. So in order to fall out of love, make sure that you’re always happy.
7. Get back out on the dating scene
You’re probably not even ready to go back out there and look for a nice man, but you need to try at least. You fall back in love with your ex when you completely stop going out with other men and you just focus on him.
Getting back on the dating scene means that you’ll give other men a try. The entire thing about how there’s only one man meant for you in this world is a complete lie.
Instead of that, you have to understand that there may be someone out there who’s much more understanding, loving, and caring toward you.
That someone won’t just come to you in your dreams, you have to go out there and find him. So instead of spending your time moping after your ex-boyfriend, how about you actually try to go out and meet someone new.
You may not be ready for something more serious but that doesn’t mean that you can’t go out and have fun.
8. Don’t ask your mutual friends about him
The one mistake we all make when we enforce the no-contact rule with our ex is that we still ask our mutual friends about him.
You’ve probably done that before as well. You’ve asked your friends whether they know what he’s been up to and you ask whether he’s happy without you.
Such questions are quite valid because you still care about him but when you fall back in love with your ex, they’re not really the best remedy.
You don’t need to know what’s going on in his life. The sooner you completely forget about him, the better.
Please stop asking them about him because you’re not just putting yourself in a bad position, you’re also making your friends feel uncomfortable. No one wants that.
When you stop asking about him, you’ll also stop falling back in love with him.