Can you ever stop loving someone who means a lot to you?
Can you ever move on from romanticized ideas of love and a relationship that turned out to be fake?
And if you can, how long does it take for that to happen?
If we were to make a list of the worst things in the world that could happen to human beings, I bet we’d put heartbreak somewhere on it.
We all know how it feels and we hate it, but sometimes, without wanting it to happen, a heartbreak occurs and you end up left alone, having lost the person who means a lot to you.
When your true love turns into a stranger, is there anything worse than that?
Nothing can describe that terrible feeling that takes control over your whole body.
It’s like you’re falling to pieces and nothing seems to help, and it’s more than obvious why you feel this way.
None of us enter into a romantic relationship planning that one day those feelings will be gone. None of us expect that all that pure love will turn into a bunch of negative emotions.
Those things are never part of the plan, but as with everything in life, they simply happen and you can’t do anything about them.
It makes no difference whether we’re talking about your first love, unrequited love, or a passionate infatuation with someone; when a relationship ends, it all hurts the same way.
After that, you’ll probably struggle with moving on and you’ll spend your time wondering whether it’s even possible to ever stop loving someone.
And to be honest, it all depends on the type of person.
Some people spend their whole life trying to move on after someone, while others have an easier time letting go.
That’s why there’s no universal answer to the question of whether you can ever stop loving someone who still means a lot to you.
However, I want you to know that it’s completely normal to have a hard time moving on after a heartbreak.
That person was a part of your life and it’s never easy to let go of that.
You fell head over heels and out of the blue, you’re expected to cut ties and continue with your life.
What people don’t understand is that after a heartbreak and losing someone you thought was your true love, things are not about just continuing with your life anymore.
It’s more about creating a new life and taking things back into your own hands. It’s about repairing your self-esteem that has been ruined.
Let’s be honest, when you end up alone, without your loved one, your confidence gets shaken and nothing feels the way it used to.
Your own life feels like it’s not yours and you probably have no idea how to move on.
Your soulmate, your true love, has left you and it’s hard to find a way to cope with that.
I totally get it.
But I also want to warn you that it won’t be the first time it’ll happen. You’ll probably go through a number of breakups and none of them will be easy.
“I love you,” will turn into, “Goodbye”, and it’ll happen more than once.
It may have nothing to do with you – it’s just the way things work in this weird world.
Each and every time, you’ll find a way to make things work again. You’ll create a new relationship and you’ll try to lead a happy life.
Things will get back in shape, your love life will start coming together and then it’ll hit you.
In the middle of the day, while you’re doing something, you’ll remember your past love.
It’ll probably be something silly that’ll make you laugh but in the next moment, you’ll feel overwhelming sadness about everything you’ve gone through.
If you want me to be honest, I’ll tell you this…
If you spend your days wondering, “Can you ever stop loving someone?” the answer is probably no, not immediately.
Yes, things will get easier with time and you’ll learn to put things in a new perspective.
You’ll start to realize that heartbreaks are only part of the process. They’re not a bad thing, as they help you become the person you’re destined to be.
It’s all part of the learning experience.
I know how awful it feels when the one you love the most is gone from your world.
You feel like your whole life is falling apart and that things will never be the same as before.
It’s like everything you were building is falling apart right in front of you and you’re incapable of fixing it.
But the truth is, that’s the way love works. It shoots you to the stars and then throws you back down to the ground.
You let it under your skin and you learn to live with it, and at some point, it disappears and you’re left alone, wondering what went wrong.
Love makes you feel vulnerable. You give all your pieces to someone, you share your deepest secrets and dreams, and then one day, they’re gone.
That feeling of rejection and losing someone who means the world to you starts affecting your mental health.
You feel like it’s all your fault and the bad thoughts can’t seem to leave your mind, so you spend your days wondering whether you will ever be able to stop loving someone who means a lot to you.
Can you ever stop loving someone?
Day after day, the same thought occurs and you still have no answer to your question.
And even though it’s a cliché, time is the only thing that can help you move on.
It can heal the wound and make it smaller. But it will never happen overnight.
And if you want me to be brutally honest, sometimes it won’t ever completely happen.
Yes, you’ll mostly forget about the person you loved but they’ll never leave your mind or heart completely.
No matter how hard you force yourself, a piece of them will always be with you.
They shaped you in a way and turned you into the person you are today.
Because of that, it’s hard to expect that you’ll be fully over them at any point in your life. But what happens to us that makes it harder to move on?
Why can’t you stop loving someone even though you want to?
Sometimes, you can get the feeling that you’ll never be able to stop loving someone. It’s like they’re a part of you and you simply can’t let go of them.
Even though you may think that there’s something wrong with you, I want you to know that something like this is completely normal.
You’ll usually have trouble moving on because of your previous experiences and the thoughts that are still deeply rooted in your brain, and you keep ignoring them, thinking that it’ll help.
So, what are the reasons why you can’t let go, and will you ever be able to stop loving someone who means a lot to you?
Let’s find out!
1. You still believe that you and your ex are right for each other
Losing the person you love feels like losing your best friend, especially if you thought that the two of you were soulmates – two people meant to be with each other.
At that point, admitting that the relationship is over and moving on takes a lot more time and energy than you might think, particularly if deep down, you still believe that the two of you are the perfect couple, destined to be together forever.
When you still feel that your ex is the right one for you, it feels impossible to stop loving that person.
It feels like you’re going against yourself, your heart, and your dreams.
If you were to be with anyone else, it’d feel like you were cheating on that person, even though they are long gone from your life.
I get it – your mind has trouble admitting that the relationship is over and it holds on to the good memories from the past.
Because of that, it feels like you’ll never be able to stop loving the person who still means a lot to you.
They’re still a part of you and you simply can’t accept the fact that what you had is over, so you keep pretending that you’re okay, while in reality, you still believe that the two of you are right for each other.
Nevertheless, I just want to point out that you can feel this way and still be able to provide yourself with closure.
Sometimes, we end a relationship with someone who feels like the perfect fit.
They feel like our soulmate but still, the relationship doesn’t seem that perfect.
Maybe it turned toxic or you simply got the feeling that it wasn’t good for your well-being anymore.
When you end things for good, you can still have the feeling that you are perfect for each other but at the same time, you’ll also get the feeling that the two of you could never be happy together.
The thing is that you’re afraid of the unknown and everything that the future holds. Your ex represents something familiar and you’re scared to let go.
By moving on, you feel like you’re losing the only attachment you have to your previous life and this can be terrifying.
So, in order to escape the uncertainty of the future, you hold on to the things from your past that you’re familiar with; in this case, your ex.
It’s not about the fact that the two of you are perfect for each other, it’s more about the fact that you’re afraid of what will happen once you lose your safety net.
And your ex was exactly that – always there for you – and now they’ve disappeared completely.
Your safety net is gone and you’re afraid of what will happen now.
2. You gave 100% into the relationship and you can’t accept that it’s over
Sometimes, you can’t stop loving someone because you put your whole self into the relationship.
You gave them your heart and soul and now that it’s all shattered around you, you can’t accept that they’re gone.
This is one of the biggest mistakes humans make – we give ourself completely and once the person is gone, we have no idea how to live without them.
The same thing may be happening to you.
You gave 100% into the relationship and now that it has ended, it feels like your ex took your whole persona away.
You lost yourself completely in the relationship, and now that it’s over, you have no idea what to do next.
Imagine it like this. You dedicate your whole life to one person and one day, they simply walk out of your life.
Your time, energy, and feelings walked out the door with that person and it feels like you’re left alone without anything.
That’s what happens when you give yourself fully to someone. Once they’re gone, it feels like you are too.
You put the purpose of your life in this person’s hands, not thinking about what would happen if they left you.
And then, once it happens, you feel lost.
It’s not only that you don’t know what to do, but you also don’t know how to move on.
It feels impossible to stop loving the person who left you, as they took a part of you with them.
So, your breakup hits you hard and you can’t seem to find any closure.
That’s why you should never put your whole self into someone else’s hands, as you never know when they’ll walk out of your life and leave you without anything.
3. You blame yourself for the breakup
Sometimes, it’s hard to stop loving someone when you feel that you’re the one responsible for the breakup.
When a relationship ends, it’s natural to seek closure, as it helps you understand why things fell apart.
But sometimes, it’s impossible to get that when you feel that you’re the reason why things didn’t work out.
Maybe you did something you’re not proud of and you simply can’t escape feelings of guilt.
No matter how hard you try, this sad feeling that you did something wrong haunts you, or maybe you have trouble falling asleep as the negative thoughts keep chasing you.
If you’re in this situation and you feel that you’re the reason why things fell apart, the first step you should take is to accept that you made a mistake.
It can happen to anyone and you shouldn’t blame yourself too much for it.
We all make mistakes and we need to learn to live with them. It’s all part of the process of learning and one more experience that will shape us.
So, instead of feeling stuck in time, you should accept what you did and work on making a change.
We’re human and errors are a part of our lives but it doesn’t mean that you should let them define you and give up.
Instead, you should learn to change them and work hard to never again make the same mistake.
Only that way will you know that you did the right thing.
Blaming yourself for the breakup will only mean that you’re unable to move on and you’ll constantly feel that you can’t stop loving the person to whom you did wrong.
Actually, it’ll be the feeling of guilt that will keep you from moving on, while your ex will have already accepted the reality and have no trouble with letting go.
4. You have trouble cutting off communication with your ex and his close friends and family members
It’s easy to feel that you can’t stop loving someone who means a lot to you when you’re still trying to be a part of their life.
When you’re in constant communication with either your ex or his family and friends, it won’t be easy to move on, as everything around you will remind you of the past.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re just trying to be polite by staying in touch or if you’re unable to admit that things are over, by keeping the communication alive, you’re only making things harder for yourself.
The first rule of a breakup is to stop all communication and you’ve already failed at it.
You’re making your life more complicated and you’re prolonging the grief period.
Keep in mind that when you keep in touch with someone on a daily basis, it goes without saying that you’ll be thinking about that person all the time.
And when you’re trying to stop loving someone, this isn’t helpful.
Instead of moving on, you’re putting yourself in a vicious circle and we all know how hard it is to get out of there.
Around and around, you’ll keep chasing them and they’ll always be one step in front of you.
Even keeping in contact with your ex’s close friends and family members is making it harder for you.
Every time you call or text them, they’ll make you think of your ex.
This will prevent you from moving on and it can only make you feel bad about yourself, so stop playing this game as it’s only hurting you.
Maybe you’re being polite to your ex’s friends and family but you’re also harming yourself by staying in touch.
At some point, you’ll be ready to have a decent conversation with them but for now, it’s too early.
Let things flow naturally instead of trying to go against them, as by doing that, you’re only making it harder for yourself.
5. You’re unable to accept the past and you constantly fantasize about what could happen if you got back together
One of the reasons why it feels impossible to stop loving someone who means a lot to you is because you’re still living in the past.
You’re unable to accept what happened and you keep thinking about what your relationship would look like if the two of you got back together.
Instead of letting the past stay in the past, you’re introducing it to the present and you’re making it harder for yourself.
There’s no point in looking back and living in the past and there’s also no point in fantasizing about what could happen if the two of you got back together.
If it was meant to be, you would still be together.
The past should stay where it belongs and for the right reason.
It makes no sense to spend your life in denial, living in days gone by and pretending that things aren’t the way they are.
There’s no point in idealizing a broken relationship that doesn’t bring you happiness anymore.
If things are over, let them stay that way, and don’t try to convince yourself that they’re any different.
Otherwise, you’re creating a false reality which leads you to false dreams that make it harder to move on with your life.
Think about it – you don’t want to feel unhappy for the rest of your life.
Just because you’ve gone through a heartbreak, it doesn’t mean that you should never be happy again.
Right now, by living in the past, you’re stopping yourself from having that happiness.
You’re being your biggest enemy by causing more harm than good.
To wrap things up…
If you’re thinking about whether it’s even possible to ever stop loving someone, I want to tell you that it’s okay to feel that way.
The reality is that time will make things easier, but honestly, the ones you love never seem to leave your life completely.
They always find a way to sneak into your mind, which is normal. This person meant the world to you and you probably still care about them.
They shaped you into the person you are today and made you go through a life experience, which is why you should never expect that they’ll forever leave your mind or heart, because a part of them will always be with you.
Can you ever stop loving someone?
You’ll stop loving them in a way, but you’ll never forget about the things you learned from them.
Each person we meet gives us a piece of themselves.
We carry that piece with us our whole life and by doing that, we’re creating the final version of ourselves.
That’s why no one expects you to completely stop loving someone.
Yes, the flame of love will be put out, but some of the emotions will remain under your skin and that’s perfectly normal.