The first question you should ask yourself is can a toxic guy change? Is he ever going to realize his faults and work on himself?
That’s tough to answer but many toxic people can change; they just need a lot of time and patience from their partner but it’s not impossible. I can guarantee you that it’ll hard for him but it’ll be hard for you too.
Your relationship has been anything but an easy one, as you’ve gone through so many ups and downs. People have constantly told you that he’s toxic for you and that he isn’t the right guy but you’ve given him one chance after another.
You showed him what it means to be loved by a woman and now you’re seeing changes. But can a toxic guy actually change?
If you see these signs, then he’s trying really hard to change his ways.
1. He’s more consistent than ever
One of the main traits of a toxic person is inconsistency.
At the beginning of your relationship, you saw just how loving and caring he could be. However, later, he never showed that same devotion.
He would love-bomb you when he thought that you were slipping through his fingers but he also ignored your needs completely. Now, it doesn’t seem like that anymore.
You go out regularly, he’s kind to you, and you see how hard he’s trying. He’s been consistent with these things for a while now.
He’s not doing so much that you get suspicious of him but he’s reasonably loving and caring toward you. He meets your needs and it seems to make you both happy.
2. He gives you space
Another toxic trait is not giving you space and your boyfriend always had to be involved in anything and everything that did.
This also means that he was extremely jealous and didn’t like when you would even look in the direction of another man.
This type of behavior led to an awful lot of arguments because he would make a scene whenever you went out with your friends, to the point where he even forbade you from doing so.
Now, he’s changing. He encourages you to go out with your friends more often and he doesn’t even make a fuss about seeing you talk to a co-worker.
This is a completely new development. You should definitely be aware of the fact that he’s making an effort.
3. He communicates more
For someone who’s toxic, it’s very hard to communicate properly. He usually replies to you sarcastically or makes jokes to convey the unimportance of your conversation.
A toxic guy can change and this is an obvious sign of that. He’s trying to communicate with you about your own feelings as well as his.
You can see how uncomfortable he is with this but he’s trying really hard. You have to be able to motivate him by not being closed off yourself and ask a lot of questions to get him to talk even more.
4. He’s trying to quit his addiction
Many toxic people have some type of addiction, whether it’s drinking or something else. But whatever that may be, he’s trying really hard to quit his addiction.
You can see that in the way he’s not smoking or drinking as much as he previously did. He may even go so far as to avoid it completely now.
He doesn’t want to be the person he is when he’s under the influence.
Also, substance abuse can be really expensive and he knows how worried you are about finances, so now he’s attempting to quit everything in order to show you that he’s serious about this.
For that exact reason, at some point, he may even ask for help. Be there for him and help him find a place where he can get professional help.
5. He says he wants to go to therapy (and actually goes)
A toxic guy can definitely change if he decides to go to therapy. It means that he’s trying really hard and he’s unpacking his issues in a controlled environment.
It’ll stress him out but he’s doing his best so you know that it can only get better from this point onward.
He probably never considered this before but now that you’re slipping away from him, he wants to show you that he’s willing to do this for your relationship.
Therapy will help him figure out where his toxic behavior is coming from and how to change it. First, he’ll become aware of it and then he’ll start to actively work on bettering himself.
6. He doesn’t gaslight you anymore
You’re used to being with someone who always gaslighted you. He would tell you that your issues weren’t important or that your emotions weren’t real.
Sometimes, you even felt like he was right. He was so convincing that you started to gaslight yourself and whenever he did something wrong, he told you that you were crazy for getting mad at him.
The other day, however, when you said something about your feelings, he made sure you understood that he believed you.
He said that he understood what you were going through and that you had the right to experience your emotions.
If that isn’t a change in character, I don’t know what is. He’s probably learning this in therapy but you may as well credit him for the effort.