Sometimes, you fall under the influence of all of the love stories you see in movies or all over social media and you get this feeling that all of the relationships you’ve been in were deeply wrong.
You also have a feeling that your current relationship isn’t taking the direction it should, as if everything you’ve ever achieved with your partner isn’t up to standard. It simply feels as if it isn’t good enough.
More often than not, we get the idea that relationships should be perfect. We live in denial, that if we’re not acting the way couples around us are, we’re taking the wrong path.
That’s why I’m here to break all of the myths about things that are apparently normal in a relationship. Trust me, you don’t need any of these things in order to be happy.
And the idea that any of these are missing from your life doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you as a couple. It only means that you haven’t been influenced by all those posts about ‘perfect relationships’ that are everywhere around you.
1. Doing everything with your partner
In order to be in a healthy relationship, you don’t have to spend every second of the day with your partner. Believe it or not, you’ll be even happier if you know how to be apart without losing the connection you have.
Couples who are always together aren’t in any way happier than the two of you. If anything, it’s likely that they don’t trust each other enough and that’s why they always feel the need to spend all of their time with each other.
Being together constantly and doing everything with your partner isn’t healthy and you shouldn’t work your way to having that kind of a relationship.
Knowing when it’s the right time to step aside and let each other do something on your own is what will elevate your relationship to a whole other level.
2. Wishing for a perfect relationship
Two imperfect creatures can’t create a perfect relationship and it’s a complete myth that you can have something like that. So, cross it off your list of wishes and feel the relief once you finally realize that your relationship is doing just fine.
The idea that he’ll wake you up with breakfast in bed every morning, take you for a romantic dinner every night, and surprise you with gifts daily isn’t healthy. You won’t have any of those things, as that’s not now how life works.
A relationship is supposed to be flawed but absolutely perfect the way it is. You’ll fight but you’ll also work on solving your arguments and you’ll go days without talking but you’ll always have each other’s back.
That’s the whole point of being with someone. You know that it’ll be hard but you don’t intend to leave because you love this person just the way they are.
3. Giving up on your values
Just because you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that you should forget about your values and beliefs. Your partner should always support you, even when you two have different viewpoints.
You’re not supposed to leave your old self in the past just because your boyfriend doesn’t agree with some of your values. That’s not normal and you shouldn’t even bother to look for an explanation from him if he wants this.
You’re still you and the only difference is that you have someone who’s willing to walk beside you for the rest of your life.
But that doesn’t give him the right to ask you to change something about yourself and you should never let that happen.
If he doesn’t love you the way you are, then he’s probably not the right one for you.
4. Asking your partner to change
The same way you shouldn’t let him change your values and beliefs, you also shouldn’t expect him to change for you.
Sometimes, we fall in love with someone only because we want to fix them and make them suit us better but that’s wrong on so many levels.
Don’t use the excuse that you’re doing it for him and that you want him to be a better person. That’s usually just you trying to justify your wrong attempt to mold him to your standards.
We all have our flaws but the point of being with someone is to accept those things and live with them.
Their imperfections make them who they are and once you decide to change them, you’ll end up with a completely different person.
If your boyfriend is talkative by nature, why would you ask him to be quiet or speak less? In reality, it was partly this that made you fall for him, so why would you ask him to change now?
5. Thinking that you shouldn’t compromise
Your partner shouldn’t have to make all of your wishes come true, the same way you shouldn’t do that for him.
Relationships are about compromising and hoping that you’ll never have to find yourself in a situation where you’ll have to adjust is completely wrong.
You want your partner to be there for you but you should also know that you should be there for him.
One day, you’ll give in and the next day, he will. With that pace, your relationship will move forward healthily, as you’ll both be willing to compromise when needed.
6. Expecting your partner to read your mind
Even if you’ve been together for years, your partner can’t read your mind. And he’ll never be able to do that.
If something’s bothering you, you should let him know. Don’t expect him to know what’s going on in your head because that can only lead you into despair.
Communication is one of the pillars of a healthy relationship and you should never forget the power it holds.
The moment you stop talking to each other, you’ll be ruining all of the good things you’ve worked so hard to build and that’s when it’ll all start to deteriorate.
Even if you think that other couples have it this way, trust me, there’s no one who can read another person’s mind. There’s nothing normal about that as it’s impossible.
So, talk openly with one another and let your partner know if something’s wrong. That’s the only way you can build a healthy relationship.