Think aloud
The body language of a possessive man can either be attractive or toxic. Depending on what type of girl you are, these signs can either make you fall in love with him even more, or simply dump him and never look back.
A possessive man has a specific body language that’s a combination of dominance and jealousy. It can be too much for a girl who loves her freedom. Obviously, it’s awful to be seen as an object. No one should look at you as a possession, and you shouldn’t see yourself as less than human.
However, you don’t know if you should confront him about this without proof that he’s actually acting possessively. He’s gaslighting you by saying that you’re imagining things, but what if your hunch is right? What if he truly feels like he owns you?
8 examples of the body language of a possessive man
1. He puts a hand around you whenever there are men present
The first example of the body language of a possessive man is when he puts a hand around your shoulders as soon as another man walks into the room.
Have you ever been in this situation? You may be talking to some of your friends, but your boyfriend comes up to you and puts an arm around you. You think it’s a cute gesture, but it’s nothing more than possessiveness. He wants to show the other men that you belong to him.
I’d compare this to licking your food when you’re little so that your siblings don’t take it from you. Yeah, even though that comparison is quite disgusting, it’s the best one I could’ve come up with.
2. He leans in to see who you’re texting
The body language of a possessive man isn’t always that obvious. Sometimes it’s as simple as leaning into you when you’re texting just so he can see who you’re talking to. Of course, when he’s your boyfriend he should be able to see what’s going on, but not in such a sneaky way.
You probably won’t always see that he’s doing this. He’ll try to seem smooth by going in to kiss your cheek to take a peek at your phone, or he’ll hug you when you hold your phone, or he’ll try to see your phone without moving at all – the only thing that’s moving is his eyes.
Even though you won’t be able to see when this is happening, someone in your friend group will notice his behavior. So, when they make sure to tell you this, please don’t dismiss their warning.
3. He tries to initiate physical contact when you’re in public
Of course, this is extremely cute. You feel quite special when your boyfriend comes up to you to hug and kiss you when you’re in public. Especially if he doesn’t usually do this! However, that’s exactly the red flag that you should be aware of.
Have you been in a situation when your boyfriend tries to initiate physical touch that’s a little bit too intimate? For example, he starts french kissing you in the most inappropriate moments? Or when he touches you, and it makes you uncomfortable?
This happens when he feels threatened, and he wants to make sure that everyone around you knows that you’re his property. If you tell him that it’s not okay to do this so publicly, he’ll probably become defensive and tell you that you’re overreacting.
He won’t respect your boundaries, and he’ll just go for it. Even if you push him away, he may tell you that you’re just trying to seem single to impress someone else. Which obviously isn’t the truth, but he’ll gaslight you into believing it yourself.
He only wants to show everyone else that he can do whatever he pleases with you because you belong to him.
4. He comes up to you when you’re talking to a male friend
There’s always a debate about whether people of the opposite gender should be friends when one of them is in a relationship. However, when you have friends that you have been hanging out with for a long time, normally, you’ll stop to stay hi!
That doesn’t sit right with a jealous man who will automatically show examples of the body language of a possessive man.
If you were ever in a situation where you stood there talking to a guy friend and your boyfriend appeared, it’s quite possible that he’s being possessive. Especially if he puffs his chest out and tries to tower over the poor guy.
At first, you may not think anything of it, but he probably made his way from the other side of the room just to make sure that the other guy knew that you were taken.
This is great when you’re in an uncomfortable situation. For example, when someone is flirting with you, you would want your boyfriend to make an appearance and get you out of that awful situation. However, if it’s someone you feel comfortable with, you don’t need your boyfriend to intimidate your friend.
The body language of a possessive man will be obvious in these moments, you just have to be honest with yourself.
5. He’ll put a hand on your knee
A possessive man won’t always act threatening or make you uncomfortable. Sometimes, he’ll do something sweet, that will actually make you feel loved and important. For example, when you’re sitting in a room full of people, he may just put a hand on your knee.
Most of the time, this is a normal move to make in a relationship. Girls love to feel loved and protected, so you’ll want him to do this as often as possible. His hand on your knee makes you feel calm and like he’s paying attention to you even when someone is talking to him.
However, it’s still a way to make sure that everyone around you knows that you’re together. It’s subtle, but the sign is there. When a man is confident enough that’s everything he has to do.
6. He’ll try to hide your body behind his
A guy who’s insecure but doesn’t want you to know that isn’t going to tell you to cover up. Sometimes, he’ll make passive-aggressive remarks about your styling choices, but he’ll never outright tell you to change.
If you show him any type of resistance, he’ll simply draw back into himself without much explanation. This happens because he’s scared that you’ll embarrass him in front of other people. However, he won’t stop until he makes sure that no one else is looking at you.
For example, he’ll try to hide your body behind his. When you’re talking to someone, he’ll stand right behind you so that no one can see your back. Or when you’re wearing something short, he’ll try to sit somewhere in front of you so that one can try and peek under your skirt.
He’ll always tower over you to hide as much of your body as possible. Instead, a confident man will be happy to show you off. There’s that wonderful quote that was going around social media that explains how a secure man reacts, it says “Wear what you want. I can fight.”
7. He gets irritated when you compliment someone else
No one knows your boyfriend as well as you do, so you’ll definitely know when he’s getting irritated and how he’ll behave when something doesn’t go the way he wants it to go. For example, he starts huffing and puffing when you compliment someone else.
He turns his body away from you, he doesn’t want to make any eye contact, and his responses are extremely brief whenever you ask him something.
This is the body language of a possessive man. He doesn’t want to know that you find someone else attractive or smart, even if it’s in the most innocent way possible. This man wants to believe that he’s the only man that will ever be in your mind.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you’re cheating on him, but rather that you’re being polite. But he doesn’t see it that way, and you won’t hear the end of it once you get home.
8. He acts like a predator
The body language of a possessive man is easy to see when you know what you’re looking for. He’ll act like a predator whenever he gets the chance just to establish dominance. He wants everyone to know that you’re his possession.
So, what happens here is that he’ll constantly look in your direction no matter where you are. Just like a predator, he’ll tower over you so that he can look down on you. Yes, that can be attractive at times, but when it’s excessive you feel threatened more than anything.
Also, he says mean things to other men to make them feel intimidated, or he acts in ways that would scare anyone around him. A possessive man knows no boundaries and he won’t stop until everyone knows that you’re his.
Read more: Body Language: How To Understand The Words We Don’t Speak