Are you the type to obsess over Valentine’s Day, swearing it’s the best holiday ever? When someone tells you to name your top five movies of all time, every single one turns out to be either a chick flick or rom-com. Sounds a lot like you? Hate to break it to you, but it seems like you’re hooked on romance.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing bad about loving love and enjoying being in love, but there are some boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed if you want to build healthy relationships. And don’t worry, this is not an incurable addiction, nor an extremely serious one.
You know that there are different kinds of addicts everywhere and, well, you may be one of them as well. Do you want to discover if you belong to this group? Keep reading to find out and if you recognize some of these signs in your behavior, try to change them for your own sake.
1. You LOVE the honeymoon phase
You absolutely adore holding hands with your boyfriend, calling him cute pet names, and being all mushy-gushy when you’re together. Every love song reminds you of him and there’s no place you’d rather be than in his arms.
Getting to know him and learning little things about that gorgeous person makes you insanely happy. You overlook his bad traits and the feeling of euphoria is constantly present. Since this phase doesn’t last for too long, it’s safe to assume that your relationships didn’t last longer than about a year, right?
If you belong to the love addict tribe, you’re probably jumping out of one relationship into another simply to feel the pleasure of being “honeymoon high.”
2. You daydream about the future with your partner – a lot
Another sign that you’re hooked on romance is that you’re constantly daydreaming about the future with your partner. You’re tirelessly imagining all the different scenarios in which you two make the perfect couple, and live in a magnificent place that you can call home.
Happily ever after is a concept you strongly believe in and you’re convinced you’ll have that with the guy you’re dating right now (until the next one shows up, of course).
3. You idealize him
It’s normal to look at the world through rose-colored glasses when you’re in love, but you’re idealizing him, and that’s honestly not a good sign. You may argue that you’re not putting him on a throne, but let me ask you a couple of “yes” or “no” questions. Be honest, okay?
Who’s the most beautiful man in the world? Do you laugh a bit louder at his jokes than anyone else’s, even though they’re not that funny? Is he your Prince Charming? Do you think of him every time you hear a love song? Have you, at least once, imagined that you two were the main actors in your favorite romance story?
If the answer to all of these questions was “yes,” you’re screwed.
4. You neglect your needs and obligations to be with him
Are you neglecting your needs and obligations just to be with your boyfriend? If you’re canceling girls’ nights out repeatedly and even ditching your family members to spend time with him, something’s clearly off balance.
Because of your love addiction, you may ignore your work responsibilities or compromise your education. In your mind, nothing is more important than to be with the one you love. But think about it: Is he truly THE one?
5. You replay every encounter with him
You’ve seen your crush exactly six times this week and you know exactly what he was wearing on Monday. The shirt he had on last night when you saw him, absolutely makes his eyes pop. Every encounter started with a shared smile, then you hugged and made small talk.
He ran fingers through his hair on Wednesday when you complimented his hairstyle and on Friday night he removed that stubborn curl from your face and caressed your cheek. What else do you remember? Are you repeating all your encounters in your mind like they’re short films?
Umm, do I really have to say that this means you’re hooked on romance?
6. You panic at the thought of being single
Are you one of those women who don’t like being single and even panic at the mere thought of it? If so, you’re definitely a love addict. If you get anxious about living your life without a man by your side and think about how scary it would be to grow old alone, then yup, it’s clear.
You’ll probably never admit this, at least not openly. I mean, who says that you need a man to change a lightbulb or to drive you to the mall? You can do that on your own, but… it’s a bit safer if he does it, right?
7. You enjoy hearing about someone’s relationship
Are you easily entertained when someone starts sharing their love story? If you adore hearing anecdotes other couples (or your friends) share and you go through their ups and downs with them, you’re definitely hooked on romance.
When did they first meet? How was their first kiss? Did they have butterflies in their stomach when they met? Did their knees shake and was their heart racing? You find the greatest joy in their adventures and the love they share.
It’s okay to be excited about everything that’s happening in your life, but isn’t it a bit too much to ask for the tiny details of other relationships?
8. You’re the first one to say “I love you” in a relationship
Well, generally speaking, it’s not really important who says it first. It’s beautiful and affirming, and it has to be said and heard often. But, if you’re always the first to say “I love you” in a relationship, this may be a sign that you’re addicted to love.
You want to feel that oxytocin rush and simply being next to someone (sometimes) is not enough. That’s why you tend to be the person who says those three words a bit earlier than you should.
However, this may also mean that you’re making it clear that you belong to that person, which is pure emotion, not addiction or anything bad. You know the famous phrase Blair from Gossip Girl said: “Three words, eight letters. Say it, and I’m yours.”
Are you constantly checking his body language and trying to read between the lines when he talks with you? You read online that if he turns his feet towards you, it means he likes you. Or, if he smiles while looking in your direction, he’s definitely attracted to you?
If you’re trying to find hidden love messages in his behavior, you, my darling, are undeniably hooked on romance and there’s no point denying it.
10. For you, love equals happiness
This is the most palpable sign that you’re a love addict. In your vocabulary, there’s an equation sign between love and happiness, and nobody can convince you otherwise. You believe that you’re only truly happy when coupled, and that your partner is directly in charge of your happiness.
Wake up, woman! You’re responsible for your own happiness. No man, no matter how amazing he is, can bring it into your life. That only puts additional stress on him and before long, he’ll run away from you to escape the pressure.
Stop sabotaging your own life. Learn to love yourself. As soon as you do that, you’ll attract a man who’ll love you unconditionally and for everything that you truly are. That I promise you.