You know that special friend who isn’t really a friend, but you’re not sure whether he’s more or less than a friend? It’s the person who makes you realize that almost-relationships are tantamount to torture.
Whether it’s someone you were involved with even though you didn’t call it a relationship, or you never even got involved in the first place, it was painful.
It was the person you wanted so badly in your life that you would do anything to keep them there. Yet, they never really became a part of your life or they simply wouldn’t accept that they had.
Almost-relationships are a lot like torture because it’s the grey area of relationships. You’re not together, but it’s not like you aren’t together either.
You have feelings for each other, but you’ve never said them aloud or maybe even don’t dare to think about them.
Was this person sending you mixed signals, confusing you, or simply stringing you along? You couldn’t figure it out. You just knew that, somehow, you had something special with them.
Even though it was never an official relationship, it made your heart skip a beat and your soul tremble. You felt a strong connection with this person – so strong that you could feel the electricity each time you touched.
Yet, somehow, when people would ask you about him, you’d say he’s just a friend, just a coworker, just someone you know. It wasn’t just that though, was it?
This person was your secret, your soul’s desire, and your heart’s silent whisper. But you couldn’t have him. That’s why almost-relationships are like sheer torture.
Regardless of why you couldn’t be with him, you somehow felt that you already were, and it killed you. You felt like you had a special bond, but there was no way of proving you had anything at all.
You were just two people who happened to be in the same place together. And the fact that you couldn’t even look at him without it causing a flood of emotions didn’t seem to matter.
What you had with him can’t be put in words and doesn’t have a label. But you sensed it, felt it, and almost even touched it.
That’s how real an almost-relationship is, even though it’s “nothing.” It’s the most special kind of nothing that you could ever have with another human being.
Even though neither of you said it, it was in the air around you, and others could see the sparks. They could see that you weren’t in a relationship, but it was almost as if you were.
It’s like you were dancing with them, and everyone was witnessing your dance, but no one knew if it meant anything. It meant the world to you though, and now that it’s gone, it’s pure agony.
Time seemed to pass differently when you were around him. And you just wanted to touch him and feel his energy flow through your body.
Yet it felt like you were always reaching out to touch him yet never managing to reach far enough.
You were always almost where you needed to be, yet still on the other side of the line. It felt like falling in love but was more like being ready to jump and never actually stepping over the edge.
It was that moment that lasted forever when you were really close to each other and for a second leaned in. You almost kissed, but you didn’t.
And that “almost” kept dangling over your head like the most important moment of your life that you missed out on. You kept chasing it as if you were running a race with no finish line.
Almost-relationships are excruciating because you can’t win or lose. You’re forever moments away from winning. Think about this person – is there a realistic scenario where you would hook up in less than 20 seconds if you were alone together?
Well, almost-relationships are those 20 seconds, except those 20 seconds last forever and you never really hook up. You lean in, but you don’t go all the way and get that kiss.
Instead, you just feel the tension, and the mood changes when you are near each other.
They say that if there’s a scenario where you’d hook up in less than 20 seconds if you were alone together, that means that you’re not friends. What are you then though?
You’re moments away from love, yet the moment you’re in never seems to ends. Almost-relationships are all about those agonizing moments where you get a step closer to falling, but you don’t.
You can’t get yourself to take the next step and let go. You’re one step away from each other at all times like there’s an imaginary line between you that you can’t cross.
Why not? I say go for it and see what happens.
Unless you see signs that your almost-relationship will never turn into a real one, gather the courage and take that step. Lean in again but don’t pull back.
You might be only 20 seconds away from hooking up, so what’s stopping you? Whatever it is, if it’s not going to change, you’ll have to move on.
Almost-relationships are a lot like torture because you can’t move on from a breakup that never happened. The relationship on its own never happened to begin with.
There are reasons you can’t move on from your almost-relationship, but do it the same way you would after any other. End things with this person if you’re in a relationship with them, even if just an “almost” one.
Either you’ll stop being “almost” together and cross that line, or you’ll end it and not be in an almost-relationship anymore. What makes the whole situation so hard is that you’re stuck in the middle zone, so get out of it.
Read this if you have difficulty getting over an almost-relationship, and know that you’re not crazy. If it felt real, it was real, whatever you like to call it – love or torture.