It’s so extremely hard to adjust to single life when you’ve been in a relationship for so long. You don’t even know how to be single at this point.
You want to continue with your life and become the best version of yourself but everything hurts so much.
When you wake up in the morning, there’s no ‘good morning‘ text waiting for you and you feel like something’s missing. You go through your day feeling like things just aren’t the same anymore.
And they’re not.
It’s not just a feeling; your life is going to change enormously due to the fact that you don’t have a boyfriend anymore. That sounds so dramatic but you know just as well as I do that it’s true.
I understand that you’ll want to ignore the importance that he had in your life. You’ll want to disregard the fact that he had such a huge impact on who you are as a person but the truth is right there.
And it’s okay.
One day, you wake up and you think that you’ll spend the rest of your life in the arms of the person you love the most. Then another day, as if by magic, you’re all alone.
You’re all by yourself and you don’t know where to go from there. You want to get back on track and stop yourself from feeling all those extreme emotions but you simply can’t.
Your own health could easily become an issue if you don’t give yourself enough time to feel your emotions. So feel them.
Experience them, let them break you for a few days as you lie in your bed. Then, you’ll have ashes that you’ll rise out of.
Know that it’s not just you who’s experiencing this. Everyone feels broken and bruised after a break-up but things will get back to normal over time.
Memories of him will resurface and you’ll feel like you can’t live without him. You want him but the truth is that you only want the feeling that came with the relationship.
So for now, nothing seems to be going as planned in your life, and you can look at this from two perspectives. The first one is to feel lonely.
You could feel like there’s no point to life anymore if you’re not with the man you wanted to spend every waking hour with. At one point or another, you could even feel like you’ll never get back on your feet again.
Even if you wanted to date again, you think you could never find someone as remotely interesting as the man you now call your ex.
The other perspective is that you’ll understand that it’s okay and I believe that this one is best.
The feeling of loneliness will pass. You’ll understand that being alone only means that you can now focus on yourself.
You’ll have the complete freedom to be the person you always wanted to be, even if that means completely reinventing yourself.
No one will be standing in your way. You can simply go out there and find yourself again!
There’s a misconception that you need to go out and date again as soon as possible but you don’t have to. You don’t have to do anything that doesn’t feel right at this particular moment in time.
You should just take care of yourself, focus on yourself, and fall in love with yourself again.
Who are you when he’s not around? Do you know this woman and do you love her just as much as you did when she was his?
These are important questions to answer because we attach a huge part of our own value to the man we’re dating and that’s just because we were insecure beforehand. It’s sad to say but know that I’m speaking from experience here.
You could easily search for tutorials on how to be single. They’ll tell you that you should start a new hobby, go out with your friends, or find someone to mend the open wounds left on your heart.
But that’s just a very generalized idea of what you should do. You’re free to do whatever you want.
What do you feel like right now? Do you feel like lying in your bed and eating ice cream or do you want to go to the gym?
You see, being single isn’t about preparing the ground for when another man makes an appearance in your life. Being single is about taking your time to be yourself again after you’ve been tied to someone for so long.
This is your cue to date yourself. Do all the things you would do with a partner but do them with yourself.
At times, you’ll feel weird, as if you’re doing something wrong. But take yourself out on a date!
Go on that trip your ex never wanted to go on with you. Find the love within yourself and gift it to yourself.
Buy yourself flowers and spoil yourself with all the things you thought were too excessive. There’s genuinely no reason for you to hold back anymore!
And don’t rush into a new relationship.
You’ll want the familiarity of being with someone, you’ll want to feel loved and taken care of by someone else. But you don’t want to make someone else feel like a rebound, right?
Being single after such a long time can feel like a sin. This is especially if you’ve gotten to an age where all of your friends are getting married.
But stop for a minute. What do you want from life?
Just because a relationship feels familiar and you crave it doesn’t mean that it’s something you truly want or need right now. Experience your emotions, experience your life, and go live with and for yourself.
Because if you’re supposed to meet a guy, fall in love with him, and create a whole new life with him, then it’ll come to you naturally. Love always finds its way.
And while you’re waiting for that, know how you want to be loved and treated by loving and treating yourself that way!
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