Think aloud
You’re not sure if your new partner is a narcissist or just emotionally damaged. It’s confusing because you’ve just met this guy recently.
You don’t want to judge him yet, but there’s just something off about his behavior. When you have that gut feeling telling you there’s something’s off, it’s usually right.
Women have powerful intuition, so don’t undermine it. Most times, listening to yourself can save you a lot of trouble.
However, you’re not worried if you’re dating an emotionally damaged man. At least not as much as you would be if you were dating a narcissist.
If you could, you’d like to pick the lesser evil, of course. Who wouldn’t? Still, there’s something about this man that you can’t quite put your finger on.
Some of the signs of a narcissist and an emotionally damaged person seem to intertwine. This is where the panic arises because what’s damaged can be repaired, right?
There’s still some hope left if you’re dealing with an emotionally damaged person. But if he’s a narcissist, you don’t want to engage in something where the only result is defeat.
Your concerns are completely justifiable because I know firsthand what dealing with a narcissistic person is like. Believe me, the outcome is never pretty.
Are you dating a narcissist or just an emotionally damaged person? Well, ask yourself these questions.
1. Is he cold-hearted all the time?
You’re not the type of girl who requires attention 24/7. But you’re not made out of stone, so you expect you to be shown some love after all.
Still, you were deceived because you’re not getting any. This can be a sign of both a narcissist and an emotionally damaged person. How can you tell the difference?
If you’re dating a guy who’s just gotten out of a toxic relationship or has some trust issues, it’s fortunately not that complicated.
He’s probably broken, but to an extent where you can restore the damage that’s been done. He likely just needs someone to help lead him on his road to recovery.
Eventually, he’ll come out of his shell and you’ll meet his true self. It takes some time, but if the stars align for you two, this problem can be overcome.
The most important thing you’ll notice is that his behavior doesn’t return. He won’t have the need to become emotionally unavailable all over again.
On the contrary, if you’re stuck in a relationship with a narcissist, the news isn’t as good. His personality disorder prevents him from feeling empathy or any kind of emotion.
More often than not, he’ll give you the silent treatment and it won’t bother him at all. A narcissist doesn’t care for your feelings, opinions, or thoughts.
An emotionally damaged person may heal, but you shouldn’t expect that of a narcissist. His personality disorder stems from deep trauma, possibly from childhood.
It’s deeply embedded, so it’s safe to say that narcissism is the core of this type of person. The manipulative ways of a narcissist can trick you into thinking that he’s emotionally unavailable.
2. Is he aware of his actions?
When you’re dating an emotionally damaged person, he may not be aware of it in the first place. Sometimes, it can take a certain period of time for someone to understand what he’s doing.
Your partner may not be fully mindful of his behavior because of the past experience that’s still fresh to him. He jumped into the relationship with you because he saw a way out, for instance.
There’s a possibility that he’s aware of the damage he’s carrying yet doesn’t understand how it impacts you. Either way, he can be as confused as you are, or even more.
On the other hand, a narcissist isn’t just an emotionally damaged person. He suffered a trauma, but he’s completely familiar with the fact.
To make things even worse, he uses it to his advantage. A narcissist will keep manipulating and using you for as long as needed.
He sees you as his supply – as long as you’re giving in to his narcissistic demands, he’ll make you stay by his side.
3. Is he persistent?
One of the key differences between a narcissist and an emotionally damaged person is persistence.
A person who’s just emotionally damaged is usually more reserved and will back off eventually. They’re insecure, so they won’t open up that easily.
If you confront him about his bad behavior, it’s likely he will just move on to the next person.
There’s a strong possibility he’s not inflicting the pain on purpose. It’s not his primary goal to hurt you although he may end up doing just that. Also, there’s a chance that he will feel sorry at some point and distance himself.
The same can’t be said about a narcissist. He knows he’s hurting you and he knows how that makes you feel.
Narcissists feed off of other people’s misery and that’s what fuels them to continue. If you fall victim to their ways, it’s likely they’ll keep you their prisoner.
On top of all that, they don’t feel any type of remorse. You can’t confront them about it either because you’ll just end up with the silent treatment.
Bottom line
When you’re stuck in a relationship with a person who seems sketchy, you start to wonder if he is a narcissist or just emotionally damaged.
There are some characteristics that are common to all narcissists, though these may not be enough to pinpoint where your guy stands. You want to find out the key difference between these two that’ll help you make the best choice.
You may not be able to decipher whether he’s a narcissist or just emotionally damaged in the beginning. However, the difference will become evident later on and you’ll be able to tell.
The biggest difference is that a narcissist has a goal whereas an emotionally damaged person is most often jumbled just like you.
A relationship should be free of any stress and filled with mutual love and support. If you can’t find this in your relationship, it’s time for you to leave.
