Think aloud
Is there a person in this world who hasn’t been broken up with? No.
Is there a person who hasn’t had to watch someone leave and feel the need to beg them to stay? Probably not.
There’s always someone in your life that chooses not to stay a part of it.
Men often repress their emotions, so they don’t let themselves think about it too much… But women know it oh-so-very terribly well.
When a man walks out of your life, and you want him to stay, you just want to show him how much you care. Like it would change anything…
He knows that you care, and you’ve shown it already… But he decided to leave anyway.
It feels like the worst thing that could ever have happened to you. Yes, it does feel that way – sometimes even worse.
You know that there are worse things than getting broken up with, but while you’re experiencing the heartbreak, it’s much more serious than we anticipate it to be once the pain is gone.
You put so much energy, love, time, and effort into something that didn’t work. Like that’s not bad enough, the person you did it for not only fails to appreciate it but acts like it meant nothing.
And even if they don’t, it was pointless, wasn’t it?
The moment you saw them walk away, you became painfully aware that you wasted more than just time.
They were a part of your life, and even though it’s just your love life, it affected all aspects of your world.
It affected you, who you are, and who you will be from now on.
How can anyone say “it’s just a breakup” or even “it’s just a divorce”? It’s not just the end of love, it’s the end of who you were up to that moment.
You went through something super difficult and grew stronger after it… You managed to pick up the pieces of your heart and make it beat again.
What you experienced was painful, serious, and life-changing. But the way it changed you and will continue to change you depends on you.
You can let it influence your future in a bad way, or you can fight and learn from it.
Don’t be scared of trusting someone again just because someone left. It doesn’t mean that everyone will, and you have to fight not to think that way.
You need to understand that not everyone will walk out of your life. But you also need to learn to hold the door for those who want to leave.
If a man you loved walked out of your life and you didn’t want him to, remember how you felt at that point.
You were prepared to humiliate yourself, throw your dignity out the window, and beg him to say without even thinking about whether he’s good for you.
That’s why they call women who don’t do that “strong women.” It takes a lot of strength to fight that urge that could just make things worse, not better.
When someone decides to walk out of your life, there’s nothing you can do but let them – nothing but hold the door for them and slam it behind them, then lock it tight so they’d have to knock to be allowed back in.
When a person walks out of your life, don’t blame yourself. Even if you did something to cause it, they had a choice.
They could have talked to you, explained how they feel and what’s bothering them.
Even if you did something that caused them to leave, did they give you a chance to make up for it?
Did they give you a chance to show them that you’re willing to work on yourself for them? No, they probably knew that, but didn’t want you to.
They simply didn’t care enough.
You know why some marriages work and some don’t? It’s not about the problems – because they all have them.
Every couple in a relationship inevitably runs into some bumps on the road.
Sometimes they’re huge, sometimes they’re tiny. Sometimes they just seem big or small…
It doesn’t really matter because do you know why some rare couples manage to stick together? Because leaving is not an option for them.
It’s something they’d do only if there was absolutely no other way… Where there’s a will there’s a way, right?
Yes. It’s not even about loving each other. It’s about being committed to keep loving each other.
More often than not, only one person in a relationship is truly committed to making it work. Sadly, most often it’s the woman.
This doesn’t mean that men aren’t capable of loving enough, just that women are the ones who often keep fighting even when things seem hopeless.
Unfortunately, they want to fight even when winning the battle would mean losing the war.
Leaving is not an option until it’s the only option.
We have that need to be committed to making it work so we get hurt by those who don’t.
When you see them walking out of your life, you need to hold the door for them because they’re doing you a favor.
A person who’s ready to leave would leave anyway. It’s better to let them than prolong the misery just because you’re willing to fight.
If they’re not, it can’t work.
Let me say it again. Both people in a relationship need to be willing to fight, stay committed, and not consider leaving an option.
Yes, even then, sometimes you need to remember that option of “if nothing else works…” But as long as there are ways to try to make it work, you try to make it work. Both of you.
You can try your best to dance the tango, but it’s simply not possible if the other person’s not stepping onto the dancefloor. If they’re not even willing to try to move their legs, it’s pointless for you to try memorizing your steps.
People who want to stay in your life will make an effort to stay, even when it’s not easy. Those who decide to walk away won’t stay if you beg them.
That’s why you need to hold the door for them and proudly wave them goodbye with a smile before you slam the door behind them.
Make them knock if they want you to unlock it again.
Trust me, if they don’t, someone else will, and you won’t have to dance alone.
Just don’t lock someone else out just because of the person you had to slam the door for.
Do know that they’d probably even break the door if you did though, just to be a part of your life and convince you to let them stay.
Either that, or they’ll just knock forever if they have to.
So, hold the door for those who want to leave and don’t let them block the traffic by leaving the door open or letting them stand at the threshold.
