Think aloud
Very often it can happen that we become so mesmerized with a person, we will let them in our lives and our hearts, never even stopping to think what could go wrong.
By the time we realize that they have been presenting themselves falsely and they are not at all how they seem, the damage to our lives is already done. You are trapped in this exhausting habit of doing good to them, investing time and effort, and letting them slip away without giving anything in return.
You finally see your relationship for what it is. Your presence is only wanted when no one else is available, making it obvious you are only an option for them. They will never make you their number one.
It is a hard lesson to be learned, but an important one because you do not want people like that near you. Dealing with people as toxic as they are, is very emotionally exhausting and something to be avoided as much as possible.
It is important to surround yourself with people who appreciate you the way you appreciate them, so if you ever notice any of these signs, the best thing to do is leave. Here are eleven signs you’re an option, not a priority.Â
1. You are the only one who is making any effort
You have a feeling everything would fall apart if you stopped trying. Them not bothering to invest, even a little, is a sign they do not see your relationship as something worth working on or worth saving.
2. They lie about unimportant things
It seems insignificant, but if they are lying about little things, what bigger secrets could they be hiding? Also, they are not very eager to let you in their life, unless they need something from you.
3. They do not invite you to any events or gatherings
It is a sign that they do not want to be seen with you. At the same time, they are avoiding the pain of introducing you to their friends and family, which can only mean they do not find your relationship significant at all.
4. They never plan dates with you
Every time you are together, be it a date or just casually hanging out, it is always something they put together at the last moment. Rarely ever planning to put away time for you is just another certain sign that you are their last resort.
5. They stand you up
The only dates that are actually planned are the ones you plan yourself. They will initially be on board with whatever you have in mind, but when it comes to actually showing up, they have some ”important” matters to attend to. Apparently, more important than you.
The truth is, most likely, they found something else they would rather do instead.
6. They have little to no knowledge on what’s happening in your life
You would think a person you care about would be interested in what is happening to you. Well, not this one.
You always find yourself having to repeat things you already said. They do not really find it important to remember what you’re sharing with them. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be struggling as much with remembering at least some of it.
7. They have no respect for your time
Getting a reply to a message or getting them to call back is taking way too long for someone who allegedly cares about you. Making plans is impossible if you can’t hear from them to see if they agree.
In the meantime, instead of making the most out of your day, you will be declining invites from people who actually wish to spend some quality time with you. When they finally respond, it is only because they find it convenient.
8. You keep trying to rationalize their actions
Even the people around you have started noticing how rude is this behavior. Still, you are trying to justify their actions. Sadly, that is simply you wanting to believe you didn’t put your trust in a person like that. It is time to re-evaluate the relationship.
9. They suddenly go off-grid
You spend some time together one day, the next one (and then a couple more) they are suddenly nowhere to be found. No messages, no replies. They come out when they find it convenient, like nothing even happened.
10. They make you feel guilty for standing up for yourself
When you are finally fed up with ignoring and try to talk about and resolve whatever is happening between you, they make it look like the only problem is in your head. They could even label you hysteric and overreacting, diverting the blame to you, which might leave you doubting your reasons.
This is an obvious sign it is time for you to leave.
11. You are feeling miserable in that relationship
You cannot seem to catch a break. Everything they do makes you miserable and even though it is pretty clear, they don’t really seem to care enough to do something about it. Clearly, you are only an option for them.
Instead of waiting for them to make you a priority, do it yourself. Put yourself first and stop trying to save a relationship that isn’t really there.
