Think aloud
Just because it seems that an empathic narcissist is a nicer version of a cruel manipulator, it doesn’t actually mean it’s true. I would rather say that this kind of person is even more dangerous to society since he’ll act all nice on the outside while plotting the show of his lifetime on the inside.
Empathic narcissists should come with a warning sign since they can easily trick you into believing that they’re actually good people. They show signs of empathy or, to be more precise, they can understand how you’re feeling at a certain moment. But that doesn’t mean that they won’t use that against you.
They’re still narcissists who care only about themselves. It’s just that they have a perfect cover-up for their rotten personalities.
When you come across an empathic narcissist, you would assume that he’s just a regular person. He seems nice and caring, and somehow, you don’t feel uncomfortable letting your guard down in front of him.
But if you take a closer look at his actions, you’ll realize that things aren’t as pretty as they seem. The person in front of you is definitely pretending to be someone else, but the real issue is that it takes time to spot that.
How to recognize an empathic narcissist?
Your regular narcissists are a bit easier to spot since, once they win you over, they take their mask off and show you who they actually are. They manipulate you, play with your emotions, and test your boundaries for as long as they want. And once they get bored of it, they simply move on to the next supply.
But how can you know that you’re dealing with an empathic narcissist? People like this act like they understand you, and at times, they can even seem caring and kind. You can’t just blame them for being narcissists when you’re not 100% sure about that. You need proof, and here’s how you can get it.
1. He acts caring so he can gain control over you
An empathic narcissist is sneaky and deceptive. He knows what he has to do in order to gain control over you. And what makes it even easier for him is the fact that he can tell how you’re feeling.
He sees your emotions and understands them, but that doesn’t mean that he’s going to be honest with you. It just means that he’s one step ahead of you and that it will be easier for him to make you follow his lead.
So, the fact that he’s empathic doesn’t actually mean that he gets how you’re feeling. It simply means that he knows it, and that’s good enough for him.
The moment you’re at your most vulnerable state, he’s going to be there for you, and you’ll assume that you can trust this person. But sooner or later, he’ll prove to you that this whole time he simply wanted to gain control over you.
2. He pretends to understand your emotions so you let your guard down
‘I understand how you’re feeling. I’ve been in the same place.’
First of all, this man will act like he understands everything you’re going through. As a matter of fact, he’ll tell you that he’s already walked in your shoes. This is a subtle sign that something’s off since he can’t accept that your feelings are more important than his. So, he’ll try to make you feel like he has it worse.
But as I already said, this behavior will be subtle, and there’s a chance that you won’t even notice what he’s trying to do here. You’ll just appreciate the fact that someone understands how you’re feeling, which is exactly what an empathic narcissist wants you to experience.
He knows that you’ll let your guard down, and that’s when he can start his manipulation game. It sounds sick to use someone’s trust in this way, but guess what? Narcissists don’t care about morals.
3. He uses acts of kindness to impress others
An empathic narcissist can tell what needs to be done in order to impress others. And surely, they use that ability to their advantage.
A man like this won’t shy away from different acts of kindness because he knows that they allow him to build his reputation. The nicer he seems, the more people will like him. And you already know that narcissists love the feeling of being adored.
Their ego needs a constant boost, and what better way to achieve that than to have people compliment you on how kind and amazing of a person you are?
4. He uses love-bombing to get you on his side
This man knows what you need, and he won’t stay away from using that against you. Love-bombing is a famous technique all narcissists use when they want to win someone over.
He can shower you with gifts or compliments, but he can also start repeating just how much he loves you. This will feel sudden and totally unexpected, but again, a narcissist relies on the surprise factor so you don’t have much time to think about it.
He knows that you don’t expect him to act that way, which is exactly why you’re going to trust him. And once he has you on his side, the game is over. He has you hooked, and from that point on, he believes that he can treat you however he wants to.
5. He gets defensive easily
Even empathic narcissists are all about their image. They want to present themselves in the best light possible, which is why they can’t take criticism. As soon as you tell them something about their behavior, they will instantly get into defensive mode.
It could be something insignificant, but it doesn’t matter. They will try to prove you wrong because they don’t allow anyone to mess up their reputation.
At the end of the day, they’ve been building it for a very long time, and they can’t let others realize just how flawed they actually are.
6. His final goal is for you to depend on him
No matter how nice he seems at first, an empathic narcissist has only one thing in mind, and it’s for you to depend on him. All the lies and pretending are his way to reach out to you and control you.
So, even though he’s acting all kind and nice, you have to realize that there’s a secret plan hiding behind all of that. No matter how pleasant he seems, know that he’s not trying to help you in any way. Instead, he’s trying to use you for his own benefit.
Narcissists are toxic and manipulative, but the real issue is that they won’t let you see that. That’s why it’s so easy to fall into their trap. You assume that they’re the nicest people you’ve ever met until they take their masks off and prove you wrong.
7. He makes everything about himself
Trust me, an empathic narcissist doesn’t care about you. He’s not looking to help you or to be there for you when you need him. Instead, he’ll make everything about himself and act like he’s the most important person in the world.
No matter what you’re going through, he’s going to convince you that he’s having it harder than you. It’s just that people like him have to be at the center of attention all the time. The moment focus shifts onto someone else, they’re going to do all they can so others notice them.
I tell you, these people are damaged, but you could never tell that when you meet them for the first time. That’s why they’re so dangerous because you never know what’s hiding underneath that facade.
The term ’empathic narcissist’ may sound like a more subtle version of narcissism. But, even though a person like this can sense your emotions, the bottom line is that he still doesn’t care about them.
Whatever he does for you, be sure that there’s a hidden agenda behind it and that he’s going to benefit from it.