Think aloud
“What do you do when discover your ex is in a rebound relationship? We’ve been together for quite some time, and I never thought he was the type to go from one relationship to another within the first few weeks of the breakup. What are the signs your ex’s rebound relationship is ending?”
Breakups are among the hardest things to do, especially when you’ve devoted time, energy, and effort that you cannot get back no matter what. But everyone’s got a different way of grieving the end of a relationship, and you and your ex might not be on the same page.
More often than not, people need time to recover, move on, and get back on track after a breakup. But everyone’s different and there’s no concrete timeline to when someone’s allowed to go out, move on, and start dating again. Before you put all the blame on your ex, remember that the two of you aren’t the same.
Now, he might have moved on before you were ready to face the fact that the two of you are never, ever getting back together (Taylor Swift knows what’s up). But he might have made a mistake, too. When you move on too soon, you end up with what’s known as a rebound relationship.
Rebound relationships serve the purpose of filling the void when you’re trying to figure out whether you want to go back together or you want to move on. What’s weird about rebound relationships, though, seems to be that they’re short-term – and your ex’s rebound relationship might be coming to an end.
Why is your ex in a rebound relationship?
Rebound relationships are “band-aids” you use when you’re struggling to get over your ex.
We’d argue that there are different definitions of rebound relationships (and different rules, too), but most people agree that rebound relationships occur when you get with someone after a breakup before you’re emotionally ready to move on.
Whether you do that because you want to take your mind off your ex or because you want to get a reaction out of your ex, chances are you’re going to regret getting with someone before you’re ready to move on emotionally and physically.
We do need to underline that people go for rebounds for different reasons and that you can never be 100% sure what your ex’s reason was. Sure, some people do go from one relationship to another because they’re young or because they’re focusing on fun.
However, most people turn to rebound relationships because they’re not ready to deal with emotions of sadness, hurt, anger, guilt, and shame. Before you get angry with your ex for going from one relationship to another, remember that some people never deal with these emotions and end up hurting even more.
Rebound relationships aren’t meant to become serious relationships, and there’s a chance your ex’s rebound relationship might be coming to an end.
What are the 10 signs your ex’s rebound relationship is ending?
Maybe you’ve caught your ex coming by your workplace to “talk” and “check up on you.”
Perhaps you’ve noticed that your ex keeps talking about you to your friends and family although he “moved on and is in a happy relationship.” Maybe you’re catching on to signs that your ex’s rebound relationship is ending without even knowing.
1. He didn’t have the time to get over the breakup
When you meet someone new and move on from a bad breakup within a week or two, you’re aware that you didn’t have the time to process everything that went down. You’re focused on your new relationship and you’re at odds with the bottled-up emotions guaranteed to come back and bite you. Right?
We’re not surprised that your ex’s rebound relationship might be coming to an end considering that your ex didn’t have the time to get over the breakup. When the two of them got together, your ex probably didn’t think twice about the possibility of taking things slow or keeping things private.
2. He’s grasping at straws to make the rebound relationship work
By the time you get the deets from your friends and family, your ex might be planning on proposing because he’s grasping at straws to make the rebound relationship work. Why’s that?
We know that people make dumb decisions when they’re hurting or when they’re trying to get someone’s attention. Because of that, we’d argue that your ex might have gotten together with someone new to get back at you, but now he’s struggling with the reality of a rebound relationship.
Rebound relationships are meant to wear off within the first few weeks or months – you can try to make them work, but they’re almost always going to fail.
3. He’s trying to recreate your relationship with her
We know that it may sound silly, but your ex might be trying to recreate the relationship the two of you shared. Whether that’s because he’s struggling to get over the breakup or because he’s attempting to pick up the pieces of your relationship, there’s a chance that’s what’s ruining his rebound relationship.
She’s not you, to begin with. She’s not ready to move in with someone she’s known for a few weeks. She’s not ready to talk about the future with someone who’s dealing with demons of the past. Sometime soon, your ex is going to figure out that he’s not in the same relationship he was when he was with you.
4. He’s trying too hard to make everyone believe he’s happy
Whenever you go online or talk to your friends, you can’t seem to get away from the fact that your ex moved on. Everywhere you go, you’re met with posts and status updates that read “We’re going on our dream vacation to the Bahamas!” or “We’re getting a puppy!”
Everybody you talk to goes on and on about your ex’s relationship. While it’s possible your ex is happy in his relationship, we do urge you to consider the possibility that he might be trying too hard to make everyone believe he’s happy – because he’s not.
5. He’s not emotionally available
When you’re on the hunt for signs that your ex’s rebound relationship is ending, you might need to dig a little deeper. When you go through a breakup, you need time to process what went wrong, recover, and move on when you’re ready. We’d argue that everyone’s emotionally unavailable after a breakup.
But your ex rushed to meet someone new, start a relationship, and start planning a future together before he was out of the woods – emotionally. He didn’t take time to heal. He didn’t take time to process the breakup and understand where the two of you went wrong. He didn’t open himself up.
6. He’s not over you
“He met someone new. He moved on. He’s happy.”
We’ve heard that a million times before, but with rebound relationships you never know what you’re getting. Whether your ex can’t stop texting you when you’re at work or talking to your friends, wondering what you’re up to, there’s a chance that he didn’t move on.
We’ve seen situations when the ex decided to get with someone new to get a reaction out of the one that matters – you. Now, you’re the one that needs to decide whether you’re going to give him that reaction.
7. She’s the complete opposite of you
When your ex starts going out with someone who’s the complete opposite of you, know that there’s something wrong with that. We agree that there’s a chance your ex might be experimenting with different women to see what works better.
However, your ex might not want to date someone who looks like you or likes the same things you like. Before you get offended, your ex might not want a reminder of what the two of you shared together.
Quite on the contrary, rebound relationships oftentimes serve as a distraction – and that’s why your ex might be dating someone who’s the complete opposite of you.
8. She doesn’t know that she’s the rebound
We know that everyone needs time to mourn the demise of a relationship. When you move on right away, you protect your heart from the new relationship and focus on getting your ego stroked rather than building a genuine connection.
What happens when the rebound relationship doesn’t know she’s the rebound? Well, that’s when you know your ex’s rebound relationship might be coming to an end. Chances are she’s going to break up the relationship the moment she figures out what’s going on. Nobody wants to be the rebound.
9. He’s showing her off more than before
We brushed over that beforehand, but – when the rebound relationship comes to an end, you don’t necessarily want to admit you’ve made a mistake. You pretend that everything’s peachy, show off your partner to the world, and make sure everyone’s on board with your relationship.
You go above and beyond to convince everyone (and yourself) that you’re happy. We don’t know whether that’s what’s going on with your ex, but there’s a chance he might be showing off because he’s afraid to admit he fumbled the bag on another relationship.