There is so much historyco between you and your ex that it seems cruel to push him out of your life completely. Youpr want to stay friends with him, you want to be a part of his life, and you don’t know if you’ll be able to do that.
Breakups can be so painful that sometimes staying friends with your ex simply isn’t a possibility and it doesn’t feel right.
You know as well as anyone that staying friends with an ex who cheated on you or an ex whom you still have feelings for is just going to result in more heartbreak.
Respecting yourself is the most important thing to do in this situation and you should know your boundaries.
However, what are the signs that you can stay friends with your ex? Is there a way to know that it’s all right for you two to try a platonic relationship?
Let’s find out together!
1. The breakup wasn’t painful
At one point in a relationship, many people realize that the person they sleep next to each night simply isn’t right for them.
The breakup can be a mutual decision and there are no hurt feelings at all. You simply know that you two wouldn’t have worked out in the long run.
Because of that, you are more than capable of staying friends with your ex. There were no broken hearts and no hard feelings left afterward.
You both might need some time apart first, to get used to the feeling of not being in a relationship anymore, but nothing is stopping you from staying friends.
If you broke up because rationally, you knew you weren’t compatible as romantic partners, who says you can’t try a platonic relationship?
2. You’re not angry or hurt
This correlates to the previous sign, but at the same time, it entails other certain aspects to look out for. For example, you might have broken up on good terms but your feelings are still hurt.
You’re angry that it didn’t work out and you’re angry that he didn’t try to contact you first afterward to see if you were all right.
However, you can also be angry and hurt because you saw the potential in your relationship. You’re not able to get past the idea that it might have worked out if you had just tried hard enough.
If this is the case, staying friends with your ex isn’t the best idea for you. A better scenario is to first get a clear head and then try to build a friendship with your ex. It’s easier than losing a potential friend as well.
3. You know you won’t get back together with your ex and you’re OK with that
Being friends with your ex while still hoping to get back together with him is just waiting for a disaster to happen.
If you want to get back together with your ex, it means that you still have feelings for him, so staying friends with him will only hurt you more.
On the other hand, you and your ex can stay friends if you really don’t have any intention of getting back together. You broke up for a reason and that reason is enough for your relationship to stay platonic in the future.
Just don’t try to convince yourself that you don’t have any underlying feelings when you actually do. Rather take some time to figure things out, wait for your feelings to go away, and then try to build a friendship.
4. You are happy about your ex’s new relationship
Being jealous of your ex’s new girlfriend is a clear sign you shouldn’t stay friends with him. Unless you are completely OK with your ex dating again after your breakup, you are just signing yourself up for heartbreak.
You won’t be able to mask your jealousy. There is no way in hell you can stay friends with him while harboring such feelings toward the person you’re still in love with.
Just save yourself the heartbreak and humiliation and move on with your life without him. If you’re truly OK with him dating again and you are happy for him, you are more than welcome to try and stay friends with him.
Of course, that’s under the condition that his new girlfriend doesn’t have a problem with that either.
5. You enjoy your life
After the breakup, you have built a happy life for yourself and you don’t miss the past. You are not lonely and you are not desperate to get into a new relationship as soon as possible.
Harboring feelings of loneliness and despair after the breakup means that your heart still hasn’t healed. You truly have to build up your life again and be happy single before you can think about being friends with your ex.
It will become very toxic if you bring this energy into your friendship, because he’ll know that he’s responsible for this. So, happiness and independence first. Your friendship can wait.
Let’s be honest here for a second; we’ve all checked our ex-partner’s social media accounts at least once. You just want to know where he’s at and what he’s been up to since the breakup.
If it’s an excessive amount of scrolling through his social media and checking to see whose pictures he’s been liking and who he’s following, it’s just unhealthy.
Unless you are completely OK with your partner liking whatever picture he wants and following whomever he wants, you are not ready for that platonic relationship with him.
When you stay friends with your ex, you shouldn’t feel the urge to stalk him. It’s just not natural.
7. You have clear boundaries
Boundaries are extremely important in every friendship and relationship., especially if you’re trying to stay friends with your ex. Having boundaries means that you won’t cross any lines with each other.
Those lines could be making the decision that you won’t fall back into a physical relationship with him or that you won’t ask about each other’s love life.
You have to create clear boundaries with your ex, so that you know which conversations can lead to uncomfortable situations.
Once you set those boundaries, you will know that staying friends with your ex will mean he respects you and those boundaries you have both set.
8. He’s supportive of you
When you have a very supportive ex for a friend, things just fall into place. It’s a really clear sign that you two can stay friends.
He supports your dreams and the man you are dating. You need someone by your side who won’t be toxic and it’s something you should look for in all your friends.
Your ex can only stay your friend if he’s really supportive of you and always takes into consideration you and your wants and needs.
Not every ex of yours will be able to do that, so if you do have one who won’t make a big deal about you having a life after him, he’s a true friend.
9. Maybe you were always meant to be friends
This is just a thought, but what if you were always meant to be friends with the man you now call an ex?
There are people in our life whom we confuse for romantic partners because of the immediate connection we have with them.
You always felt very welcomed when you were next to him, and he made you feel safe and sound. That doesn’t just make you compatible for a relationship. No. That makes him a friend as well.
If you feel like you really want to stay friends with your ex, it might mean that you were meant to be good friends from the very beginning.