They say that every person is a little bit emotionally damaged and little things tend to scar us for life.
Without having the intention to do so, you attract emotionally damaged men and you always end up with a broken heart.
There might be an actual reason for why you do that, like a past trauma or the way you have been brought up.
In order to find the real reason, let’s look together at specific things you might be doing that may be attracting emotionally damaged men.
1. You’re not happy being single
If you’re not happy single, how do you expect to be happy in a relationship?
The fact that you’re not happy when you’re single tends to be the reason that you lower your standards for men.
You jump into a relationship when you feel lonely and it’s a habit you can’t seem to break.
Loneliness should never be the reason why you start a relationship. If anything, it should motivate you to work more on yourself.
Lowering your standards just because you’re lonely brings you to a point where you stop paying attention to red flags and you get the lead role in a toxic relationship.
2. You don’t recognize your own mistakes
Our patterns are very obvious to others, but we are blind to them. Before any big change happens, you have to be aware of your patterns in dating.
How long can you be single until you seek a man to fill the spot next to you? Do you jump into relationships without getting to know the person first?
These are just small things to look for. You are the only one who can recognize your own patterns and work on them.
3. You seem to have your life together
A woman who has her life together career-wise, has her own thing going on, and is happy tends to attract emotionally damaged men.
This is especially true if you don’t have a crippling trauma that holds you back in your life.
You seem like someone who could fix him. That’s why he looks for emotional support and stability in you, because he can’t find it himself.
4. You are a great listener
A very large number of men don’t get to express their feelings and it makes them bottle up emotions until they burst.
You are someone who listens.
You know what it feels like to not have someone who genuinely cares about you or who listens to what you have to say, so men tend to use you as an outlet.
When a man realizes how safe he can feel in the presence of a woman, he tends to hold on to her.
It’s a very toxic codependence and codependent relationships aren’t meant to last long.
5. You don’t have healthy boundaries
Boundaries are what make sure we know where our responsibilities begin and end. Boundaries ensure that we are safe, emotionally, physically, and mentally.
You don’t have healthy boundaries and emotionally damaged men love to take advantage of that.
You are someone who gives their all in a relationship. There isn’t a thing in this world that you wouldn’t do for your partner.
You put everything aside for them, even your own life if needed.
Imagine what that means for a man who is emotionally damaged.
He thrives on the fact that you don’t have set boundaries and he can take advantage of that however he pleases.
6. You’re bad at confrontation
A reason why you attract emotionally damaged men might be because you’re bad at confrontation.
Even if someone does treat you badly, you are not able to call them out on it.
On the other hand, when someone calls you out on something, even if you’re not actually at fault, you’ll retreat and do anything to make them feel better.
You will change anything just to accommodate them and avoid any type of conflict.
You might even be one of those people who cries when he’s angry and/or when he yells at you, so it’s easier for an emotionally damaged man to manipulate you.
7. You think you deserve it
We attract what we think we deserve. When you don’t know your own worth, you tend to settle for less than you deserve.
You might think that you deserve someone like him, someone emotionally unavailable, someone who doesn’t show his affection too openly.
This is a clear sign that you have been through too much heartbreak in the past. It has taught you that you have nothing to offer.
When people leave you too many times in your life, you tend to believe that you deserve less as long as they just stay by your side.
I am not saying this just to repeat what many people have probably told you before now but YOU DESERVE MORE.
You deserve more than an emotionally broken man who doesn’t know how to treat you right.
You might think that you can love his pain away and make him appreciate you at some point, but it’s obvious that he won’t change.
8. You don’t love yourself enough
Loving yourself means that you are very much aware of your worth and you don’t let people just play around with your emotions.
Loving yourself is when you are at peace with yourself and you won’t let someone get in the way of that peace you’ve built.
Emotionally damaged men don’t like that. They don’t like a strong and confident woman. They want someone who’s insecure.
If you love yourself, you are out of their league and they will try to bring you down. When they see that it’s not possible, they will move on to a new victim.
9. You like to fix people
What is more attractive to a damaged person than someone who likes to fix people?
You don’t back down in the eyes of a challenge and you are not a quitter!
These are great and wonderful qualities to have, but not in the eyes of an emotionally damaged man.
An emotionally damaged man sees that as an opportunity to find a cheap way to let out all of his frustrations.
He sees you as an emotional punching bag and you think that you’re actually helping him.
The moral of the story is that you can’t change anyone and you shouldn’t want to.
You are not obligated to love and heal people, it’s not your responsibility to fix them.
Your only responsibility is loving and healing yourself!