Are you recently single (and ready to mingle)? Were you the one who left him, or was it vice versa? If the relationship was toxic, you should definitely be glad it’s over. Why am I saying this?
Relationships require a lot of hard work, but sometimes there’s nothing you can do to save it. You either tried every single thing as a couple to make it work, or you were the only one trying. Either way, there was no way to maintain it.
If you’re anything like me, you may be overthinking the whole situation. Was there something more that you could do? What if you asked for one more opinion and visited another relationship expert? Maybe he loved you in his weird way and he simply didn’t know how to express it.
I’m no therapist or relationship expert, and I’m surely not someone close to you. But, I am someone who’s going to remind you why you should be glad it’s over. Everything happens for a reason and I promise you, it’s better this way.
Go on, keep reading these reminders of why your relationship wasn’t healthy and why you should be grateful for the breakup.
1. He never took you on dates
Did you ever have an official date? You know what I’m talking about – candles, fancy restaurant, delicious food, wine… No?
There you go, the first reason why you should be glad it’s over. You’re a lady and you deserve to be treated as such.
The guy by your side should be a gentleman, take you out, and make you feel special. If your ex never did any of these things, or if you always had to pay half (or all) of the bill, it’s better that the douche is out of your life.
2. He showed you what NOT to settle for
Were you the “needy one” in the relationship simply because you set some standards? Was he annoyed with your affection and did you constantly have to give him space? Was he forever complaining about the amount of money you’re spending?
You should never settle for less than what you deserve. If he doesn’t know how to appreciate you and he’s neglecting your worth, you should be glad it’s over. But at least you can be grateful – because he taught you what you don’t want in life, including what kind of partner you don’t need.
3. He made you feel insecure
I mentioned before that he was neglecting your worth and this made you feel insecure. After some time in the relationship, your self-esteem started taking a major knock, to the point where you questioned everything you did. Sound familiar?
The right guy should make you feel confident and help you improve yourself, not the opposite. You should be nurturing self-love and he should be the one to help you with that. If he wanted to control what you ate, for example, it’s as clear as day that you made the right decision.
4. He had to be everywhere you were
How many times did you have to call your friends to ask if your boyfriend can tag along? Can’t remember? Since the two of you started dating, you were never alone. He constantly questioned your social circle and never let you go alone with your guy friends.
Sometimes he would make such jealous scenes, you had no choice but to take him with you. Even girls’ night out – he wouldn’t let you go on your own, because some guy may approach you and start flirting with you.
5. You didn’t spend enough time with your friends
How often did you cancel plans with your crew simply because he told you, at the last minute, that he already planned something? And that something would usually turn out to be hanging out with his friends that you wouldn’t enjoy as much.
You always chose to follow through with his plans, just because you wanted peace in your relationship and to avoid conflict. Were your friends complaining about how often you were ditching them? I assume you’re nodding right now. There you go, girl, life without him is a blessing.
6. You were apprehensive about the future
Did he make you feel anxious about your future? He dismissed your plans and dreams, convincing you that you were being unrealistic. You still doubt some of the goals that you wanted to achieve before you started that toxic relationship.
Let’s face it, you were apprehensive about the future simply because of him. You never questioned your dreams and goals until he came along. You had the clearest vision possible, yet somehow, it all got blurry down the road. Are you ready to admit it was his fault and that you should be glad it’s over?
7. You never liked his group of friends
Whenever you’d go out with his group of friends, you constantly felt like a tagalong. That’s something he never paid attention to, and when you’d try to make him see things from your viewpoint, he’d say you’re exaggerating.
You never actually liked his group of friends, but you tried so hard to change your opinion for the sake of your boyfriend. However, since you two broke up, you don’t have to spend time with them anymore. Well, that’s a relief, isn’t it?
8. You never had time for yourself
Me time was something you only dreamed of; you never actually had time for yourself. Do you realize now how toxic the relationship was? Maybe your ex tried to convince you that you were incapable of traveling alone or that it’s pathetic to sit at a coffee shop by yourself.
Whatever his reasons were, you allowed yourself to believe that he knew better. Even though you loved spending hours in a bathtub or window shopping, you stopped doing them. Why? Because he said so. Do you still believe he knows you? No, baby girl, you know best what you need.
9. His absence created space for the love of your life
The last, and I dare say, most important reminder I have for you is that his absence created space for the love of your life. After what you went through with him, you’ve learned to recognize when a guy is not treating you right. Your confidence is back and you’re finally ready to date again.
You know your worth very well and you’re not going to compromise it ever again. A healthy relationship is something you crave right now and the right one is out there for you. I promise you that.
Just be patient and shine your light everywhere you go. The love of your life will notice you and embrace you completely.