Have you started dating a new guy recently and something seems off? How can you know if he’s actually dangerous for you?
It’s really difficult to spot some of the early signs that someone is not good for us. We usually get flashbacks of all the red flags we somehow missed seeing. And that always happens when we are already left heartbroken.
You start wondering whether you did something wrong and could have fixed things on time. We blame ourselves because, as Wanda said to BoJack Horseman, “When we look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.”
And it truly is that way. We often never know what’s wrong with someone, until it’s too late.
In order to try and prevent another heartbreak, here are some clear-cut signs that your new guy is dangerous. You wouldn’t be reading this if you don’t already have your suspicions, but let’s clear things up.
1. He’s controlling
Does he demand to know where you’re at, or who you went out with last night? Do you have to ask him for permission to go shopping with your sister? It doesn’t seem weird to you?
Has your circle of friends shrunk or become non-existent? If he’s isolating you from your friends and family, and if you have to apologize all the time, run away.
2. He’s rude to others
You’ve been dating for some time now and he’s always been kind to you. But when it comes to other people, his behavior is just off. He’s rude towards waiters in your favorite restaurant and he just yelled at the cashier.
If he’s disrespectful to others, what is stopping him from being the same with you later on in your relationship? Nothing. He’s being nice right now because he probably hasn’t yet got what he wants.
3. He’s already jealous
A little bit of jealousy in a relationship is healthy and needed. But if he’s overreacting and constantly double-checking what you tell him, that’s a whole new ballgame.
He’s having a hard time believing that there’s no other guy in your life except him and he’s always accusing you of cheating. If you have to explain yourself all the time and he’s making scenes just because you were five minutes late, it would be better for you to put an end to the relationship now.
4. He doesn’t validate your opinion
It’s normal that sometimes you don’t agree on a certain topic. I mean, we’re all different and that’s the beauty of being human. But if he constantly tries to prove you wrong, and is not validating your opinion, something’s wrong.
Nobody should embarrass you or give you a hard time for expressing yourself, especially not in front of others. And if he does, it’s time to leave him, girl.
5. He has anger issues
Maybe you had a minor disagreement and he flipped his lid at you out of the blue. A couple of plates were even flying around your dining room and one almost hit you. You probably knew that he had a temper, but you never expected it to be this nasty.
If he’s making you feel uncomfortable and threatened every time you get into a fight, you have to leave him for your own sake. Even if he promises he’ll change, he never will.
6. He doesn’t respect your boundaries
Do you feel like your relationship is moving fast and you’re simply not ready for the next step? Have you told him that and he started roasting you in front of everybody?
I assume you already tried to set some boundaries in your relationship, but he’s crossed every single one of them. If he keeps neglecting you, your needs, and your values, show him that you are better off without him.
7. He talks badly of his exes
What can you expect from a man who talks badly of his exes? None of them were good enough and the breakup was completely and solely the women’s fault. Can you blame someone else for your own sins? I think not.
If he’s talking poorly of all those girls he dated before you, nothing is stopping him from telling all sorts of lies about you to the next girl that falls for his charm.
8. He’s a pro ghoster
You’re familiar with the term ghosting but it seems like he invented it. Is he constantly talking about how he’s cutting people off from his life? He’d rather choose the easy way out than try and communicate with other people.
This only shows that he has no respect for anyone and he doesn’t think about the consequences of his actions. Do you really want to trust someone like this to take care of your heart?
9. Red flags are everywhere
Red flags are just popping out everywhere, but you somehow don’t notice them. If you notice signs of narcissism or abusive behavior and if he’s being disrespectful toward you, stop searching for more.
He may be telling you all the time how he doesn’t trust you and he’s continually bringing you down instead of helping you flourish. Also, if you feel like he’s trying to manipulate you, this is your sign to ditch the dude.
Put yourself first, grew stronger from this experience, and wait for a man who’ll treat you like you deserve to be treated. Your Prince Charming will show up when you least expect it. Because, trust me, this guy is simply not him.