Since you’re reading this, you’re well aware that you were in a relationship with a narcissist, so I don’t have to explain to you what kind of man he is. You already know his typical behavior and techniques he used to keep you by his side, but what happens when a narcissist is getting ready to leave you?
I assume that you need an answer to that question and you came seeking it here. Don’t worry, I got your back. He already had special treatment for you, so the breakup won’t be an exception.
It’s never easy when a relationship ends, and this one is not going to be any different. You were in love with someone, and the whole thing seems to fall apart now. It’s going to hurt, that’s inevitable, but you have to keep your things together.
So how can you know a narcissist is going to leave you? Here are some signs that the breakup is about to happen.
1. He stops love-bombing you
You know that this was his main way to keep you by his side and when he cuts down on it, you’ll know something’s fishy. He’s not going to express his admiration for you as much as he used to, nor is he going to shower you with gifts.
You can’t expect that he’ll stop with that completely, but it will significantly change and you’ll definitely notice it. He’ll make sure you do. When he stops love-bombing you and keeps hurting you, you have to know that at that point, your story with him ends.
2. He starts devaluing you
You were always the smartest, brightest person he has ever met. There was no other woman more perfect than you and your success was his pride as well. Now, he’s devaluing you. He’s trying to lower your self-esteem since he sees you as a threat.
You’re the only one who knows his true colors and you could easily snitch on him to his next victim. He’s going to ignore everything you have to say and he’ll openly tell you that your opinion doesn’t matter. Also, you can expect that he constantly criticizes you and rudely pinpoints your flaws.
3. He avoids spending time with you
Another thing that you partially got used to is that he’ll ghost you. But this time, it’s going to be super obvious. He’ll avoid spending time with you, especially in public. He’ll avoid being seen with you because he’s hunting for his new prey.
You’ll hear a bunch of new excuses why he can’t go out with you, or why he needs to stay at work longer. Of course, he’ll ignore your calls and messages and think about contacting you as a waste of his precious time. He’ll get more distant and you’ll definitely notice that.
4. He blames you for everything
You’re going to be the reason for the problems in your relationship. The two of you may break up because you’re needy and you don’t allow him to have some time for himself. You’ll be the one spending a lot of money on stupid things, while he tries to save something for the holidays.
Do I have to mention that he won’t even care that you may go to bed crying? He may secretly enjoy that, no matter how bad this sounds. He’s, actually, feeding his ego this way and the more you react to his provocations, he feels better; because no narcissist knows what empathy is.
5. He has constant mood swings
When you’re out in public, he’s perfectly nice to everyone. He’s kind and polite, and in rare moments he’s proving to you that chivalry is not dead. But when you get back home, or when you’re left alone with him he drastically changes.
He’ll be irritated by everything you say or do and he’ll pick fights over trivial things. You can expect that he’ll even raise his voice and even turn to physical abuse. And what’s even worse, he’ll make you take the responsibility for his abusive behavior.
6. He openly flirts with other women
If a narcissist is getting ready to leave you, he’ll openly flirt with other women and let you see it. He may post flirty photos on his social media profiles, chat with his new potential victims and leave his phone unlocked so you can see it all.
He’ll probably cheat on you and won’t bother to hide it at all. Perhaps, he’ll even talk about it with you and make you suspect that something is happening behind your back. When he starts accusing you of lying and imagining everything, you better not be surprised.
7. He’s accusing you of cheating
Another thing that a narcissist will do if he’s getting ready to leave you is point fingers at you for infidelity. Even though you never even thought about it, he’ll say you’re the one who’s been cheating on him.
You may think that he’s being jealous, but in fact, he’s trying to shift the blame to you. Something you said or did will be the reason your relationship ended, not because of him. He may even go around and tell your friends and family members lies about you, and try to ruin your reputation.
8. He’s gaslighting you (more)
Unfortunately, you already know that gaslighting was his favorite technique of manipulating you. One of the signs a narcissist is getting ready to leave you is if he starts gaslighting you even more. Yeah, it may sound a bit too much, but he’ll definitely try to push you off the edge of sanity.
He’ll convince you to believe the things he’s saying, and by the end of his treatment, you’ll be sure that the problem in your relationship was you. The weaker you are, the more his ego is boosted. That’s actually his ultimate goal, use you and move on.
9. He’s not trying to convince you to stay
The narcissist is not trying to convince you to stay in case he decided that he’ll leave you. In fact, he’ll try anything in his power to push you away from him. He may start ghosting you and even stop communicating with you completely.
If he’s perfectly sure that he’s done with you, he’ll probably tell you directly. He never loved you, nor did he have any respect for you. His words may hurt, but he’s finally showing you his true self. This will actually help you move on a bit easier.
I know that every heartbreak is difficult and it hurts like hell, but being in a relationship with a narcissist is almost the same. You should look at this breakup from a brighter side, you finally got rid of the abuser from your life and you can take care of yourself now. Time to shine, baby girl!