Love isn’t the only thing that keeps a couple together. You and I both know how much work and effort goes into every relationship in our life.
Romantic relationships require even more work than friendships and the relationships you have with your family.
You are choosing a person to spend their entire life next to you, so the ups and downs of your relationship will be more extreme.
The way you handle these ups and downs says a lot about how mature you are in your relationship.
Everyone has to learn how to be mature. It’s not something that comes naturally to us, so don’t worry.
There are little things that you can look out for in your relationship to make sure you’re handling it and your emotions maturely.
1. Make sure you know where your emotions are coming from
This is extremely important, as in the ways people handle their emotions, you can see how mature they are.
Whenever you get angry at your partner, take a moment to realize where your emotions are coming from.
Are they your authentic emotions? Is it your insecurities showing themselves? Are you trying to understand where he’s coming from?
If you instinctively start yelling right away, that is just like how a child handles their emotions.
Try to understand each other’s emotions and don’t just jump to conclusions.
2. Find a way to make your arguments productive
When you do have arguments, make the most of it! Arguments are healthy for a relationship and they can show you how mature your partner is.
You two need to find productive ways to handle your arguments. Make the most of it by asking all the right questions.
Why is this argument happening right now? What made you this mad? What will help you feel better?
Is there something that one of you can do to make the situation better? Is there something that needs to be improved in your relationship?
Don’t just yell at your partner and don’t just throw blame around. Is this fight partly your fault?
Give yourself enough time to think about your arguments and they can help your bond.
Your relationship can strengthen when you handle arguments in a healthy and mature manner.
3. Make sure you’re on the same page
It’s important to be on the same page as your partner. This is most important when it comes to plans for the future.
You can’t be in love with the potential of your relationship. That is a huge mistake that a great number of people make.
They fall in love with who their partner might become in the future.
If your partner doesn’t want kids and you are adamant about having them, you can’t really expect him to change his opinion just for you.
You two have to be on the same page about the things you want in your life, and communicate your wants and needs.
It’s in the best interests of your relationship in the long-term and it needs a mature person to accept their partner for who they are and to work on your relationship.
4. Realize that words hold power
The words that come out of your mouth can make or break your relationship.
Just throwing insults at your partner without taking into consideration his feelings is extremely childish.
It doesn’t matter how badly they hurt you, being the bigger and more mature person always means to watch what you’re saying.
This also works with praise. Praise goes a long way. Don’t forget to tell your partner how much you appreciate them for everything they do.
People need additional motivation in order to feel like their efforts are recognized.
You have to be aware of how much power words hold and use that power wisely in order to be in a mature and loving relationship.
5. Accept that people are not perfect
We often don’t accept mistakes. We don’t think about improvement when we’re mad.
People don’t see beyond the imperfections of others and often forget that they, themselves, are not perfect.
So what do we do? We act childish about every else’s imperfections, while not admitting to our own.
You need to realize that no one is perfect and that people will make mistakes.
The only thing that you can do is point out the things that you find to be a problem so you both can work on them together.
6. Understand that your partner can’t read your mind
I’ll be the first one to admit it, I sometimes forget that my partner can’t read my mind.
If you want your partner to spend more time with you, just tell him. He can’t read your mind, so you don’t have the right to become all pouty about it.
You have to communicate the issues you have in order to work on them.
Don’t expect your partner to just catch on to the brainwaves you’ve been sending him. You’ll just become frustrated.
Tell him when you want something. Tell him when you need something. Give him space to express himself too.
7. Allow your partner to have a life outside of the relationship
Clinging to your partner to the point where neither of you has a life outside of the relationship isn’t the most mature thing you can do.
Being mature in your relationship means that you’ll let your partner have experiences that don’t have to include you.
Trust is a crucial part of a loving and mature relationship, so don’t forget to embrace it.
Trust your partner to have friends and, more importantly, alone time.
This will come in handy for you too because you will have more time for yourself as well.
8. Listen carefully
This just might be the most important part of a mature relationship. Listening.
How do children react when they don’t want to hear something? They become hysterical. Don’t do that.
Listen carefully, even if sometimes you don’t want to hear the truth.
Listen to what your partner has to say and how you can work on yourself to let him know that you love him.
Don’t shut down if you want a mature and loving relationship. Listen to what he has to say.
Communication really is the key to becoming a more mature person in general.