Are you dating a guy who has Peter Pan syndrome?
You can guess what this means. Your boyfriend simply doesn’t want to grow up and be old. He resembles the little boy in green clothing who flies through Neverland more than he resembles an actual adult man.
This syndrome can be caused by many different things like childhood trauma or overprotective parents. But either way, it’s not the easiest thing to deal with. And it’s especially hard if the guy doesn’t want to go to therapy to work on this.
So, are you seeing the signs that he’s avoiding his adult life? Are you worried that he may have Peter Pan syndrome?
Let’s figure that out together and make sure that you know what you’re dealing with.
1. He can’t make decisions by himself
The most obvious trait he’ll exhibit is that he won’t be able to deice on anything himself. He doesn’t know which job to take, where he should go to college, or which shirt he should wear that day.
That’s quite common with children, too. They always expect someone else to make that decision for them. Why would they need to think when they have an adult around to do that for them?
So he probably expects you to make all the decisions. It may seem sweet at first because he makes it look like he wants to make you happy. But on the other side, it’s just extremely toxic because he hasn’t made one decision for the entirety of the relationship and you can feel the pressure setting in.
2. He can’t make a simple commitment
Making little commitments to each other is what keeps you going. It reminds you each time that your relationship will last.
But a guy like him only wants to have fun. He sees you as another adventure and, just like Peter left Wendy, he’ll leave you, too.
You’ll think that you need to help him understand the importance of commitment in the long run, but you’ll only end up breaking your own heart. You’re not responsible for helping him grow up!
3. You’re the one who pays for everything
The best thing for a relationship is that you both pay equally for everything. That way, there’s no resentment.
But when you’re dating a guy with Peter Pan syndrome, you’ll always be the one to pay for everything. He’ll try to make up excuses like that he forgot his wallet or make a joke out of it and say that it’s your treat.
That sounds like you’re the mother who’s providing for her child.
4. His friends resemble him
All of his friends are the same as him. They watch football games, play video games, go partying or on different adventures. And none of them seem to mind their reckless lives.
They believe that they’re living the dream. You’re sure that he picked them because they all have the same lifestyle. It’s a group of grown men acting like teenagers.
Even if they are some of them who are in relationships, it’s nothing too serious, because they want to live their lives to the fullest. In their mind, being in a relationship somehow hinders that experience.
5. He doesn’t know how to handle conflict
Let’s be honest, most of us don’t know how to handle conflict. How many times have you cried when someone raised their voice at you?
With him, though, it seems like it’s getting to a whole new level. He can’t handle any sort of conflict for the life of him.
He either becomes extremely stubborn and angry, or he isolates himself because he refuses to deal with those negative emotions.
When he feels like he’s done something wrong and you confront him, he starts acting like a child. He throws a whole temper tantrum and blames you for always ruining everything.
That right there is not a mature adult man, I can tell you that.
6. His priorities aren’t set
His priorities include things that little boys would prioritize. It doesn’t matter if that includes gaming nights with his bros or football matches that he and his mates play. He always makes sure to put these hobbies above other things.
Of course, everyone needs hobbies. But his seem to take up all of his time and space. They’re more important to him than his studies, his job, and even you.
This man makes sure to show you that you’re at the bottom of his priority list. Everything seems to be more important than the things that should make him an actual adult.
7. He doesn’t know how to do household chores
It’s honestly hilarious when you see a guy struggling with basic household chores. They don’t know how to cook, clean, iron, or do any of the necessary things in life. Sometimes, I don’t know if I should laugh at them or burst into tears.
What I do know is that a mature man knows how to take care of himself. An adult would never expect someone else to do things for him, especially not his partner.
If he does, however, expect you to do everything, then he probably sees you as a replacement for his mother. Which is a problem in itself.
I hate to break it you, but you’re dating a boy with Peter Pan syndrome.
8. You can never rely on him
It doesn’t matter what you may need help with, he simply doesn’t show up. You can’t rely on him and it doesn’t matter how hard you try to get him to help you out, he always disappoints you.
This happens because he’s used to people always helping him out. He never had to be there for someone or help someone with chores.
When he has to get up early, you’re always the one to call him in the morning so that he doesn’t sleep through his alarms. However, when you try to get him to do the same thing, you’ll probably be late.
You can’t rely on him and that’s a straight-up fact. That’s a man-child.