You’re emotionally neglected, so you are used to being treated as less important.
Your previous relationships taught you that your emotions and feelings are not a priority and you have learned to live like that.
Because no one ever tried to fulfill your emotions, you started having trouble with expressing them.
This issue appears when someone who truly cares comes into your life.
He wants you to feel emotionally closer to him but you don’t know how to accomplish that.
No one ever showed you that your emotions meant something to them so you convinced yourself that nothing will be different this time.
If you have found yourself in a situation similar to this one, it means that you are emotionally neglected but afraid to admit it and I can understand why you’re having trouble with that.
It’s always hard to admit that you let others treat you badly but sometimes it’s even harder to react and make a change.
Plus it’s difficult to recognize that someone is emotionally neglecting you as there are no negative actions in particular that they make.
Instead, emotional neglect is seen as a lack of action.
Your previous partners literally did nothing and that’s what brought you here.
You feel numb, empty, and emotionally drained but it doesn’t mean that you have to feel this way for the rest of your life.
The first thing you have to do is recognize your problem and admit to yourself that you really are emotionally neglected.
After that, you will be able to work on yourself and turn these gray days into sunshine-filled ones.
The following signs will help you understand if you are emotionally neglected and the reason behind it. Keep on reading to find out more!
1. It feels difficult to identify or express feelings
Your feelings are mysterious and puzzling and it seems that you can’t master them no matter how hard you try.
You don’t understand what you are feeling or why you are feeling the way you are.
Plus it feels that you will never be able to explain them to yourself or especially to others.
Emotionally neglected women have trouble with emotions.
Your range of feelings differs from, “I am sad,” to, “I am happy,” and it feels like there is nothing in between.
You don’t know how to explain the way you are feeling as you are not used to giving it attention.
Your previous experiences taught you to shut your emotions down as no one cared about them.
So, you continued to do that…
It’s not only that you have trouble with your own feelings but you have trouble understanding the feelings of others.
You don’t know how to react or talk to them about it, so you awkwardly stare, waiting for them to change the topic.
Feelings are a mystery to you and you feel like you will never be able to decode them, but once you realize why you are having trouble understanding them, it will be easier to work on a solution.
2. You feel numb and distant from time to time
Sometimes, you feel like there is nothing inside of you. There are no emotions, feelings, or thoughts but a complete void.
Nothing can take you out of this state until your mind and body decide that it’s time to stop and you can’t know when that will happen.
It will just happen and you will need to find a way to deal with it.
It feels like someone erased all of the emotions that were supposed to be inside of you.
Empty and unable to connect with others, you passively wait for the feeling to pass.
Time doesn’t mean much in this situation as you feel that you lose the sense of it.
You are stuck and don’t know what to do so you patiently wait, hoping it will soon pass.
This feeling can’t be controlled because it is an unconscious reaction of your body through which it deals with your emotions.
It can make you feel helpless as you lose control and you let it take over, even though you don’t like the sensation.
3. You are afraid of rejection and have trouble trusting people
Your needs were rejected too many times and now you believe that that’s the only thing you deserve.
It’s hard for you to understand that you deserve better and that not all people will treat you the way you were always treated before.
Instead, you expect rejection and you convince yourself that’s what you’ll get.
Still, no matter how many times you’ve been rejected, you are still afraid of the feeling it evokes inside of you.
Emotionally rejected people miss so many opportunities just because they are afraid that people will reject them.
It makes them feel physically sick to even think about it. Guess how it feels then to go through it…
You don’t believe that there is a chance that someone will appreciate you the way you are, support you, or truly care about you. That’s not even an option.
Instead, you build a wall and you develop huge trust issues because that’s the only reality you know.
You believe that people could never be honest with you so you stop trusting everyone.
You are so afraid of it that you live a life in fear, where you wait for someone to disappoint you at any moment.
There is no way that they want what’s good for you; that’s what your past taught you.
You learned to walk through life alone so you will stay on that path.
It will be hard to convince you that someone out there, in the harsh reality of the world, will truly want to help you and be there for you.
However, just because it is hard, it doesn’t mean that it’s impossible.
4. You always expect the worst
There are no happy scenarios in your mind.
Those things don’t exist. Instead, fear, worry, and anxiety are intertwined, playing their dark game that keeps sucking the energy out of you.
You don’t believe that anything good can happen to you – you lost that feeling a long time ago.
So, you wait for the bad stuff that you believe is destined to happen.
Women who are emotionally neglected are taught to believe that at the time when something or someone good appears on their radar, it will immediately turn bad.
You can’t expect anything good when you have suffered your whole life, right?
No one understood you before so why would someone who does appear now? It just doesn’t make sense in your head.
Your mind is trained to think that good always turns into bad, no matter how you approach it. This is the way you live your life.
But the moment you realize that you deserve happiness and that you deserve the one who will treat you the way you are meant to be treated, your mindset will go through a huge change and you will finally be able to see everything you always deserved.
5. Your own feelings come last
Whenever you tried to express your emotions and feelings, you felt rejected and shunned.
In order to avoid this in the future, your coping mechanism decided that the best way would be to completely hide your emotions.
So, you did that.
You put everyone ahead of you and at the point where it was time to take care of yourself, you felt exhausted and delayed it for the next day.
Day by day, you did the same thing and there never came a time that was meant to be yours.
You convinced yourself that there was no issue doing that. But if everyone neglects your feelings, why would you take care of them? It makes no sense.
This is why emotionally neglected women put themselves and their needs, feelings, and emotions in last place.
6. You are self-judgmental
Others taught you that whatever you do and however you feel doesn’t matter.
This repetitive behavior is carved into your brain so you always behave the same way.
You beat yourself up about everything you do. Nothing is good enough and you always feel like you could do better.
You don’t see the value in yourself and others always seem better than you.
If someone asked you to write a list of your strengths and values, the chances are that your list would be empty.
You blame yourself for every negative situation and you can’t admit to yourself that everyone makes mistakes.
Your expectations are too high and they are slowly destroying you.
This is typical behavior of someone who has been emotionally neglected.
Your emotions don’t make sense anymore and you become self-critical to the point where you can’t accept the fact that you are worth more than you think.
7. You feel the urge to please people
In order not to be rejected, you constantly want to please others.
Sometimes, it’s not because of the need to help someone but rather because of a wish to receive approval.
Emotionally neglected women never receive acceptance and pleasing others looks like a good way to finally feel good enough.
This urge is deeply rooted in your mind.
It feels like if you please others, they will maybe value your emotions and you will feel that what you are doing is not as bad as you thought it to be.
But there is a thin line between helping someone and completely ignoring yourself in order to please others.
Emotionally neglected people can’t see a difference between the two and they usually fall into the second category.
They neglect themselves because they think that’s the only way to please others.
If you have any of these signs, you’ve probably been emotionally neglected in the past.
It still haunts you and has shaped you into a person that you don’t want to be.
Instead of continuing to do this, try to make a change. Realize your worth and start working on solving the issues.
Everything can change if you fully commit to it!