People usually misunderstand the ways you can make your toxic ex miserable. They believe that they need to be just as vicious as the ex himself or to be even more toxic.
However, that’s not the smartest way to approach this situation. For some reason, that’s what everyone goes for, so it’s kind of expected from you to go down the same road of toxicity.
Don’t do that. There are better ways to see him fume and have one sleepless night after the other because he’s thinking about you! His chest will constrict with pain once he understands that he’s lost you forever.
You may not believe me for now, but trust me enough to try these out. Once you see his desperation, you’ll know that these next few tips can change your entire stance on things.
1. Wish him a happy life
Now you’re probably looking at me like I’ve lost my marbles. I don’t know if that’s the case, but I know that this little tip will throw him off the rails.
He’ll want to see you angry and desperate to get him back. He’ll hope to see you crumble under his stare, but you’re just going to smile at him and wish him a happy life. It may be hard to say it at that moment, but it’ll catch him off guard.
I can promise you that he’ll be thinking about your words for a very long time. It’s not the reaction he was hoping for, especially not if you really manage to be happy for the life that’s waiting for him. It’s unconventional, but it’s also one of the best ways to make your toxic ex miserable.
2. Be genuinely happy that you’re out of the relationship (and tell him as much)
This is a little bit manipulative, so you may want to make sure that you’re the perfect actress for this role. If you’re not genuinely happy about the fact that your relationship is over, then act for a while. At least for the time being, he’s watching you.
Tell him that you feel relieved and that you were wondering how long this was going to take. Tell him that you’re happy that you had each other to experience this type of love, but also make sure he knows that you don’t think that you were ever right for each other.
Am I outright telling you to lie? Not really.
You should be happy that you’re out of a toxic relationship, but the pain and heartbreak could cloud your judgment at that particular moment. What you need is a clear mind, you can cry later.
You won’t make him miserable by crying your eyes out right there in front of him. Show him that you’re unfazed by his words and that you’re nothing more but grateful for his fleeting presence in your life.
3. Then cut off all means of communication
Once you get everything off your chest by laughing and crying and talking to your friends, it’s time to cut off all means of communication with him. This is the best way to make your toxic ex miserable because he’s definitely not expecting this to happen.
What you’re actually doing is cutting off his supply of your attention. He doesn’t have any access to you from the very moment you cut off all communication with him. Even if you think that he won’t care, he’ll feel a sense of anguish because of your absence from his life.
This only happens because he thought that he had such control over you; to the point where he didn’t even believe that you could take being away from him. It’s much more useful to take that control back and to watch him crumble under your absence.
4. Never talk about him in a bad way
Avoid talking about him in general. If anyone asks you what happened, give them a brief explanation that doesn’t put him in a negative light. It’s enough that your friends know what actually happened between the two of you, however, if you trash-talk him, he’ll know that he had an impact on your life.
Avoiding these conversations will also give him the perfect reason to question your entire relationship. If you continuously talk badly about him he’ll know that he still has some type of impact on you.
However, if you want to rise and flourish from the ashes of your broken relationship, you shouldn’t hold onto grudges. The pain you’re experiencing is real and you should never invalidate those emotions, but you should know that he wanted you to suffer. You can’t give him that type of power over you.
Just ignore any type of conversation about him and pretend like you’re actually over him. I can promise you that it works and he’ll be baffled by your behavior to the point where he’ll be miserable.
Once these thoughts start to roam through his mind, those sleepless nights will make him reflect on everything that he did wrong.
5. Remember that ignorance is bliss
One of the ways you can make your toxic ex miserable is by completely avoiding any type of information regarding him. Do you truly believe that if you start asking people about him he won’t find out? Do you believe that people want to keep this type of information a secret?
The chances are quite slim. Especially if you’re asking people who are friends with him.
At least understand the importance of keeping things on the low. He’ll want to know everything about you, especially because he has no way of getting to you. He’ll even become restless because of your lack of response to his inquiries.
Ignorance is definitely blissful because it gives you the perfect headspace to focus on yourself instead of the toxic guy who doesn’t deserve to occupy any bit of your mental capacity. Even if there’s someone new in his life, it’s none of your business.
6. Work on healing yourself
Toxic relationships can leave a huge impact on you. Sometimes, you can even adopt the toxic behavior of your previous partner because your brain thought that it was the only way you could actually protect yourself.
What you could do is actually seek professional help. This way you’ll be able to talk to someone who’ll help you overcome those learned behaviors and exchange them for something much better.
If you’re not a big fan of therapists, you can do shadow work on your own, or simply journal and understand your thinking patterns. You won’t be able to heal completely unless you dedicate some time and energy to it.
If you choose not to heal those wounds he left behind, then you may actually become a reflection of him. You don’t want that.
You’ll make him miserable when he knows that you’re doing just fine without him and that there’s nothing else he can do to influence your life. Whatever he did do will be out of your system in a very short period of time.
7. Go back to being your strong and independent self
He fell in love with the strong and independent woman that you were before. He didn’t know how to treat you right so he took your love and vulnerability for weakness. This is when he used all the knew about you against you.
You will make your toxic ex miserable the very moment he realizes that you didn’t break under his influence. That’s when he’ll understand that he lost you forever and he’ll spend countless, sleepless nights just imagining how amazing it would be to have you by his side at that moment.
He’ll fall in love with you all over again, even to the point where he’ll be reminded of the wonderful woman that he lost forever.
Go on, make him miserable by blooming and showing the world your beautiful colors!
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