I know you’re tired of getting disappointed every time you realize you chose another toxic partner. Being in a relationship with people like that is truly an experience you never forget. And not because it will leave many good memories, but the opposite.
However, what if I told you that there are some tips that will help you stop choosing toxic partners? Would you like to feel appreciated and loved for a change? Then you’re at the right place.
I also had to go through a few toxic relationships to finally realize how to break the pattern of always choosing the wrong guy. But now I know the secret to it and I’m happy to share it with you.
1) Don’t rush anything
He could be the prettiest guy on Earth, but never rush things! Take your time to really get to know him. And if he’s a really good choice, you’ll have a whole eternity to spend with him. So a month of getting to know each other won’t harm you in any way.
By doing this you will have a much lower chance of choosing the wrong person. Because you’ll already figure out what are the things you like and the ones you don’t. Then you’ll be able to realize if it’s something you would like to live with or not.
2) Honesty is the key!
Most toxic relationships have dishonesty play a big part. So make sure that a person you just started hanging out with knows how much honesty means to you. Explain to them that it’s a base for everything. That it’s impossible to form a strong relationship if it isn’t based on trust.
Then watch their reaction to it. You’ll quickly realize what they think about it. Either they’ll agree with you and you’ll recognize that they’re lying. Or you’ll be able to see that they honestly think the same way. That’s how you’ll know what you can expect in the future.
3) Pay attention to what other people say about him
Sometimes people tell lies about someone because they are jealous. But you’ll easily detect those people. If you know that those you hang out with to aren’t one of them, then it’s okay to listen to what they have to say about your new love interest.
If they tell you that they already know him, or he’s a friend of a friend, and no one has a nice opinion about him. Then don’t ignore their warnings. Ask them to explain why they think like that. And when they do, don’t try to defend him. Instead, carefully think about what they’ve said and make a decision.
4) Don’t ignore his red flags!
Maybe your friends don’t know him, but you’ve already spent some time with him. And the more you hang out the more red flags you notice! But you choose to ignore them because maybe they aren’t as red as they seem. Stop doing that now!
If it wasn’t there you wouldn’t even notice it and it wouldn’t bother you. So his red flag is there, it’s just that you’re very disappointed and you want to trick yourself into thinking that he’s totally fine. Because you want him to be.
But there are many other guys with numerous green flags out there and you’ll never find them if you don’t stop doing this.
5) Be careful about what you share with him
When we’re getting to know another person, we let them know some things from our lives too. It’s totally normal. But we have to be careful about what we share with people who are acquaintances. Never overshare with them!
That’s because we don’t know them well yet, and we don’t know if their intentions are honest. Maybe they’ll use the information we tell them later in small fights, or even share them with their friends. So share, but be careful about what and how much.
If you’re truly meant to be, you’ll have plenty of time to talk about every little detail of your life. But don’t rush anything!
6) Trust your intuition
Most of the time when we meet someone new, we already get that feeling. It tells us whether it’s someone we could hang out with or someone that would bore or annoy us to death. Sometimes after we spend some time with that person, we realize that we were wrong.
But sometimes it turns out to be true. Maybe you went out with him multiple times. You actually had fun, but for some reason, you still felt like there was something wrong. Don’t ignore it immediately thinking that it’s just your anxiety about possibly starting a new relationship.
Wait for some time, and see whether the feeling will disappear or not. If it doesn’t, then there’s probably something wrong, and you’ll be able to see it soon.
7) Stop hoping that you’ll change him
Let’s be real. Most of us hope that we have the power to change someone. And we do if the person we’re changing is ready for that and realizes it’s beneficial for them. But most people would never admit that they aren’t perfect and they’ll refuse every attempt at change.
So if you normally ignore his red flags and the things you don’t like about him because you think you’ll change him. Stop it immediately! That’s not how you’ll break the pattern of choosing toxic partners. Instead, it’s a recipe for making that pattern.
Stop hoping that you’ll change him and focus on finding someone who will be perfect for you without needing any changes.
Keep these tips in your mind the next time you meet a new guy. I’m sure they’ll help you too. After I realized how easy it actually it is to recognize a toxic person, I laughed at how bad I was at choosing partners before. And I hope you’ll laugh soon too.
Your new era of dating will begin as soon as you start implementing these strategies. Enjoy!