Have you ever felt like you are newearing a mask in your relationship?
You are laughing at his words and supporting his opinions, but deep down, you feel they aren’t right.
You could react properly, but you think that it would make him feel attacked and you want to avoid every possible conflict or any tension between the two of you.
So, you keep pretending that everything is fine but each step you take makes you realize that you are constantly stepping over yourself.
You are going against your values and beliefs but don’t know how to make a change.
Instead of being yourself and reacting the way old you would, you justify his actions and compromise to fulfill his wishes.
At some point, you realize that this isn’t you.
The real you would never let him feel that he’s right when you know that he isn’t; the real you would get in a fight if she felt that she wasn’t being understood.
Where has the real you gone?
I know that it can be hard to accept that you are not being yourself and that your relationship is changing you.
We all feel attacked when someone says something we don’t want to hear (even though, deep down, we know the truth).
However, sooner or later, you will have had enough and you won’t be able to pretend anymore.
The sooner you admit to yourself that you are playing by his rules, the easier it will be to make a change.
If you feel that you are not being yourself when you are with a man who is supposed to be the one who brings out the best in you, then you should look for the following signs.
If you notice any of them, reconsider your behavior, and look for ways to change.
You will never be happy the way you are supposed to be until you take the mask off and let your real personality shine through.
1. You don’t feel happy when you are in his company
If you feel nervous every time you two are together, then something is off.
He should be the one who makes you feel like the happiest girl in the world and not the one who makes you feel sick to your stomach every time you see him.
If you have to pretend that everything is fine when you are around him, but deep down, you are just waiting for you two to go your separate ways, it suggests that you are not comfortable in his company.
A relationship should be about freely expressing your personality and being the way you are, no matter what.
When it becomes the other way around, you should reconsider your decision of whether you should even be in that kind of a relationship.
2. You feel anxious whenever you need to express your opinion
If you fear showing him your real face because you don’t know if he will like you, then honestly, why are you even with him?
When his behavior makes you anxious about the way you think or feel, then he’s not the one for you.
You sit and stare at him, nervously biting your nails, hoping that what you are going to say will make sense to him.
This anxiety will eat you alive as there is no way that any human being can put up with this amount of stress.
You should be able to feel free to say what you want and know that he won’t judge you, no matter what you say.
Even if he doesn’t agree with your opinion, he won’t make you feel bad about it.
That’s the kind of man you need in your life and not the one with whom you constantly think, “Did I say something wrong?”
3. You pretend that you agree with him, when in reality, you don’t
In order to feel closer to him, you tend to pretend that you agree with his opinion even though you have a completely different attitude toward the given topic.
This is a clear sign that you are not being yourself and that you are only trying to impress him.
It can work once or twice but at some point, you will be sick of it.
You may want to avoid any type of conflict with him because you hate it and you are scared that he might leave you, but this is not the way to go.
This pretending game doesn’t lead you to happiness and you need someone to point that out to you!
4. You overthink before acting
Besides pretending that you agree with him, you also overthink before even making a move.
You spend hours thinking about how you are going to do something as you don’t know how he is going to react.
This is a huge NO!
You should never spend so much time thinking about trivial things like telling him that you don’t like something about him or that you would love to do something else on your date.
Instead, you should be free to tell him everything and you should feel free to do some things the way you want.
If you realize that you are not able to do this, then it means that you are not being yourself in the relationship and that you are just acting that you are so that he will like you more.
5. You try to behave like him
If you copy his behavior, thinking that it will get him to like you more, it means that you are not being yourself.
Sooner or later, you will become an unhappy mini version of him and that shouldn’t be your goal.
You don’t want him to love you just because you do everything the way he does.
First of all, it’s not natural and you won’t be able to continue doing that for a long time and second of all, he will get bored if you constantly behave the way he does.
(I am just being real with you.)
6. You force yourself to do things because he likes them
If you go on a hike with him just because HE likes to do that or if you go for a fancy meal because he wants to (even though you wanted to stay home), then you are doing things just because he likes them.
You are ignoring yourself and your happiness for the sake of someone else.
You should never do things just to satisfy your partner.
Of course you will compromise sometimes, but always doing the things he likes and avoiding your feelings in the process is a huge mistake.
Both of you should feel free to express your likes and dislikes. That’s the only thing that matters.
Pretending and behaving the way you think will be appreciated by your partner sets you to fail.
At some point, you won’t be able to take it anymore and that would mean that you wasted your time and got nothing in return.
7. You seek his approval
If you say something and then look at him, hoping that you will see a look of approval on his face, then you are not being yourself in the relationship.
When you constantly check his reaction to anything you do, you are putting yourself under pressure.
This pressure leads you to anxiety, and anxiety leads you to a fear of expressing yourself.
Do you want to spend your life always looking for his approval or do you want to be free to express yourself?
It’s up to you. You can choose to wear a mask and pretend to be happy or you should be yourself and truly feel happy!