You go through life searching for your perfect match. You stick through different experiences and life-changing lessons hoping that they’ll help you find what you’re looking for.
Finally, you get the feeling that you’ve met your Mr. Right. As time passes, your feelings for him become stronger. And finally, the two of you decide to say those words that will change your life as you know it.
“I do! Until death do us part!”
But what happens when you realize that your marriage isn’t making you feel the way you expected it to?
When all those dreams about your perfect ever-after turn into a sad reality of unfulfilled promises?
You feel it in your gut that something isn’t right, but you have no idea if you’re trapped in the false expectations of what marriage should be.
Are you idealizing the picture of the marriage in your head? Or are you actually stuck in an unhappy one from which there doesn’t seem to be a way out?
Let’s find out.
1.You feel like you have nothing to say to each other
In the honeymoon phase, it felt as if you could talk to your partner forever and never get bored.
You’d share your deepest secrets and fears with this person, but now things have completely changed.
Instead of feeling free and enjoying chats with your partner, you now have nothing to say to him.
It feels as if two strangers who just met are sitting next to each other, unable to strike up a conversation.
Your range of topics has come to the point where you talk about getting chores around the house done.
That’s about it. Those deep, late-night conversations about your plans for the future are history.
It feels as if you’ve run out of topics to talk about, and because of that, you’re now quiet most of the time.
2. You’re together, but distant
You’re sitting in the same room, shoulder to shoulder, but it feels as if your hearts are far away from each other.
The string that used to connect you is severed.
All those things you used to do together are now done separately. Your partner lives his own life and you live your own.
You’re married, but the only thing that’s keeping you together is the wedding rings on your fingers.
Every other type of connection is gone. You no longer know what he’s thinking about or about to say.
You no longer feel what made you fall for him in the first place because the connection you used to have is gone.
Together, but alone – that’s exactly how you feel.
3. You keep ignoring your feelings
It’s hard to admit that your actions brought you to a place where you aren’t happy.
It’s hard to say to yourself that you chose this exact life and it’s turned out to be a mistake.
Even though you feel deep down that your marriage makes no sense anymore and you’re growing further apart from each other day by day, you still keep ignoring those thoughts.
You keep suppressing your gut feeling, hoping that one day you’ll wake up and everything will be fine.
But the sad reality is that things don’t change that easily.
Without hard work and a genuine will to work on your problems, you’ll never escape the unhappiness that is your marriage.
If you want to see change, both you and your partner have to work for it!
4. The space between you keeps growing
Sometimes, marriage can fall into a routine as a consequence of a busy lifestyle and all of the work that needs to be done around the house.
You focus on your jobs, struggle to pay the mortgage, constantly work to keep the house clean, and perhaps even raise kids. All at the same time.
But if you feel that the distance between you and your partner keeps growing and that you’ve been losing feelings for each other over time, then it’s not a routine that’s ruining your marriage.
It’s the fact that you’re stuck in a place where love doesn’t come in anymore.
Instead of looking for a solution, you and your chosen one have been avoiding each other and dodging any talk of your unhappy marriage.
You’re stuck in it, and both of you will be locked inside until you decide to find the key.
And that key is communication!
5. You daydream about life on your own
Before getting married, you fantasized about finding your Mr. Right and spending your life forever with him.
You’d do everything together and build your future jointly.
But it looks like your dreams have turned into nightmares.
Instead of living your dreams, you’re now imagining how amazing it would be to live a life on your own.
Just you, all alone, looking for ways to give yourself a happy ending.
Your daydreams now exclude your husband and you wish for some time to spend on your own, without anyone to bother you.
Maybe you’ve even reached the point where you feel that life would be so much better if you and your partner got a divorce.
Freedom – you think of this word as if you’re stuck in a prison.
It’s clear that you’re stuck in an unhappy, loveless marriage.
And if you don’t do something about it, you might start experiencing more severe consequences such as anxiety, low self-esteem, and other mental health issues.
6. You even stopped arguing
As long as you keep arguing, it means that you’re working on the issues. You see the problems and you’re trying to solve them.
But once the communication stops completely and you keep avoiding every single issue that pops up by sweeping it under the rug, know that you’re stuck in an unhappy marriage.
You would rather keep on living surrounded by unresolved conflict than start a serious conversation with your partner.
Your marriage has hit rock bottom, but you aren’t willing to work on it because you frankly don’t give a damn anymore.
If only you could feel free and happy for one whole day…
7. You choose friends over your partner
They say that the first person you run to share your good news with or the one you share your problems with is the person you care about the most.
And once your partner loses that title, your marriage is failing.
All that emotional support that your husband is supposed to give you is now found in another person.
He no longer celebrates your successes and you don’t celebrate his.
You’re far away from each other – on completely different sides of the spectrum – stuck in an unhappy, loveless marriage that’s not allowing you to breathe properly.
It’s up to you to do something about it. Try to make a change or walk away, but never let yourself be stuck in a place where you don’t feel happy.
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