Every relationship has its ups and downs. They all have their troubles that can be overcome only with the efforts of both partners.
But what can make the matter even worse is the distance between two people.
Any argument is easily solvable when you can sit across from each other and have a conversation about it but what happens when your partner is miles away from you? When you can’t hug him and look into his eyes for comfort?
Long-distance relationships are a real test of love. They’re different due to the bare fact that you’re in a relationship with someone who’s not even close to you.
Instead of meeting up with your partner every day or week, you see them every year or every couple of months. It’s difficult, I can guarantee you that, but every long-distance couple will confirm to you that it’s worth it.
Since they’re different from the usual face-to-face relationships, long-distance relationships are determined by their stages.
There are certain phases every long-distance couple goes through on their journey of fighting for love in every way possible. They’re beating the distance and also dealing with the following.
1. The stage of fear
How are we going to do this? Are you sure that we can make it?
I don’t think that we’ll be able to stay close while being physically separated at the same time!
These are some of the first thoughts that long-distance couples face. They know that it won’t be easy and at this point, they only see the bad sides to being in such a relationship.
This comes naturally as every time you experience something different, something out of the ordinary, you instantly think that you’re making the wrong move.
Besides the fear of not being able to keep the relationship alive, long-distance partners also experience the fear of losing the person who means the most to them. Combine these two and they get a terrifying feeling that they must overcome if they want the relationship to work.
2. The stage of optimism
After fear comes hope.
We can do it! Love is stronger than anything!
Distance could never keep us apart, as our hearts are connected with a thread that keeps us together!
Once they realize that they want to give this long-distance relationship a shot, couples usually feel a tremendous amount of optimism. They truly start to think that they can make it, as their love is stronger than anything else.
3. The stage of noticing all of the things you have to work on
A long-distance relationship will reveal to you all of your weak spots. The moment you face the reality of being separated while still being together, you’ll start to pay more attention to the things you need to work on.
The first of those issues is (a lack of) trust. The moment you know your partner’s having fun without you, you’ll probably start to get jealous.
You’ll have all these scenarios in your head about how he’s going to cheat on you. Or maybe he already did that.
These ideas are the result of a lack of trust and the only way for your relationship to work is if you do your best to overcome these obstacles.
Once you develop trust for your partner and you realize that he chose you and not someone else, your relationship will sail into calm waters and things will finally move in the right direction.
4. The stage of getting used to your routines
Once you’re in a long-distance relationship, catching the basics of each other’s routine will become a crucial part of making it work. Since you and your partner are miles apart, it’s important to figure out what works best for you.
Are you okay with texting throughout the day or does it suit you better to have a video call once you’re both done with your daily duties? Do you need to talk every day to stay in touch or are you fine with calling each other a few times a week?
These may seem like trivial things but they’re an important part of every long-distance relationship. The sooner you both figure out your routines, the faster you’ll get used to them.
5. The stage of getting (too) comfortable
As time goes on, you start to get comfortable with the whole situation. You know that you have someone you can trust and at some point, you may even start taking your partner for granted.
But just like with every relationship, doing so can cost you a lot. You can eventually lose your boyfriend because you thought that he would always be there.
So, don’t ever forget to remind him of how much you appreciate him and how glad you are to have him in your life.
6. The stage of assessing the reality of the situation
Somewhere along the line, you’ll start asking yourself whether you’re still willing to go through with this.
Do I still love him? Do I still think that this is all worth it?
How long can I last before I won’t have any more energy to keep waiting for him?
These moments are normal and as long as you’re on the same page, they won’t stop you from moving forward. If you and your partner still think that your love is worth going through a long-distance relationship, then it’s not time to give up.
But if you realize there are other (better) things waiting for you and you can’t deal with the distance anymore, it’s best to be open about it and let your partner know how you’re feeling.
If the two of you can’t work on it then maybe it’s best to go your separate ways.
7. The stage where you’re happy for the future
You’ve been through it all. From happiness to pain, from tears to love.
You’ve made it to the stage where you finally feel excited about the future. You know that your relationship is stable and you have nothing to worry about it.
Your partner loves you the same way you love him and you can fully trust each other. At this point, the only thing that matters is the day when you’ll finally beat the distance.
Both of you are doing your best to make all those plans come true so that you can finally wake up in each other’s arms instead of miles apart.