Dating. A word so simple, yet so hard to achieve. Rather than being easy, dating can be and is tough.
It includes a lot of courage, despair, disappointment, sacrifice, and determination.
Dating should be fun and quite straightforward. You find someone with whom you could spend your life with or share a bed with.
The idea seems to be the same; two people who are together and who eventually forge a connection.
“Then why won’t anyone date me?” you wonder. Well, that is something most men and women ask themselves when they are single.
The problem is we sometimes cannot admit to ourself that we are one of those who is undateable.
Some girls act that way because they want to celebrate single life, while others are not even aware they are in the undateable zone.
And some of them are in plain denial.
Girls have this idea of a Prince Charming coming to their rescue and sweeping them off their feet.
By having such an imagination, they actually become an undateable girl.
Perhaps you have never been on a date. Perhaps you have never asked someone out. The reason why that is seems to be ambiguous.
It could be that it is something that you do that drives men away, or you are just having bad luck with the guys that you date.
Having that chip on your shoulder being an undateable girl can only bring you problems and unnecessary stress in your love life.
However, do not fear. Whatever you think is broken can be fixed.
1. You are not ready for a relationship
A relationship requires both people to be emotionally mature and ready to commit to each other.
However, if you show obvious signs of immaturity and other traits that could compromise a healthy and stable relationship, that could be an indication that you are undateable.
Those traits make your dating life much harder than it actually is. The traits could be laziness, anger issues, grudge-holding, and so on.
Those qualities are big red flags when it comes to men.
They all indicate to your potential partner that you are not ready to be in a relationship and they deem you as an undateable girl.
Don’t get me wrong. What one person sees as immature should not be applied to the entire population.
Some men might see it as part of being a human. And that is okay.
If you think that those traits are part of you, then you should ask yourself if you are prone to gossiping, speaking or thinking poorly about others, rejecting taking responsibility for your actions, and suchlike.
Even if you refuse to apologize, it can be seen as a negative trait. Those abovementioned things are all signs of immaturity.
While most of them could be worked on and resolved, it is important to fix them before entering a new relationship.
Maybe you have issues from your previous relationships.
Some of those issues may take years to resolve, so don’t rush going on dates. You will not benefit from it.
You should put effort into resolving those issues if you want to be dateable.
2. You flirt with other men
I think by now, you know that men are people too. Despite having their differences, men have feelings too.
Yes, they hide them under a tough exterior, but there are holes in their armor that leave them vulnerable as well.
Every minute that you spend talking to or looking at other men will seem like forever to your guy.
You don’t want your guy to look at other women when you two are on a date, right? The same applies to you.
Don’t wander too far with your body or your eyes. He will catch you, believe me. Men are great at picking up subtle hints.
It doesn’t matter whether you know the guy approaching you or if maybe he is a colleague of yours.
If you hold his glance and flash your amazing smile at him, your man will notice that.
He will notice that you checked out your friend from head to toe. Those subtle hints can say a lot about what is going on in your heart and mind.
It is a major turn-off and it makes you undateable.
He will feel threatened and he will be hurt by you.
Yeah, it could seem that it is no big deal to you, but if you dedicate your time to him then you should also dedicate your full attention to him and expect the same from him.
3. You are too busy to date
I know, you think that dating takes a lot of time. Trust me, it doesn’t.
This could be a problem for people who are working two jobs or someone who has a lot of responsibilities at home.
However, dating actually doesn’t take a lot of time. If you think about it, dating only takes an hour or two of your time every week if you find someone who enjoys your company.
There are also those types of women who make their career their top priority. And that is understandable.
However, you know the saying ‘all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’? Know how to balance your private life and your business life.
Sure, it could seem that a guy might be impressed by your success.
However, there are guys out there who find this type of woman a challenge, and if you are this type of woman, wait and the right one will come.
4. You rely on everybody else
It is totally acceptable for a man and a woman to pursue a romantic relationship.
Standing in a bar and meeting new people is a great way to start.
You don’t need to put much effort in for some guy to approach you and you never know if he might be the right one.
It takes only minutes to let someone get to know you a little better, to learn what you want and what you are feeling.
You are a self-sufficient human who is able to take care of herself. You are able to determine your needs, emotions, and likes.
If you rely too much on the opinions of your friends and family, that could make you undateable.
Yes, they are the people who care about your well-being and want what’s best for you.
However, as I mentioned before, you are able to make decisions on your own. That specifically applies to whom you date.
Don’t depend too much on your loved ones to make decisions for you.
From the way you talk to your potential partner, he could tell whether or not he is dating you or your entire social circle.
5. You are scared
Sometimes the problem seems that you are afraid of giving yourself to someone.
Giving away your heart and soul to a guy who can crush your dreams in an instant.
However, if you don’t try, how can you know if you will succeed? Despite the fear of being hurt, you should never hold yourself back.
If you want to give a guy a chance, go for it. Give yourself a chance to be loved too. As James F. Byrnes once said:
“Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death.”
You shouldn’t close yourself off just because you have failed before. You never know how life will turn out to be.
Learn from each experience, have a positive mindset, and if you fail again, then what? You just get back to where you started, stronger and wiser for the experience.
The least that you can do for yourself is to give it a shot. If you do, you will break free from the shackles of being an undateable girl.
6. You have high expectations
One of the worst things you can do when you go on a date is expect that your guy will sweep you off your feet immediately.
Truth be told, it can happen, but in most cases, it doesn’t.
Searching and dating is a never-ending process. It takes time and dedication to get to know someone.
If your expectations are high, then most of the time, you will probably be disappointed and you will eventually give up on love.
It’s hard to hear it, but it is the truth. Dating is like a marathon. You gradually spend more time together, so you can get to know each other better.
Then there are those whose expectations are low.
Those women unfortunately get treated poorly and never experience what true love really means.
Having a middle ground is of vital importance.
Go on a date with the mindset that you will have a fun night, drink something, laugh, and then decide whether he is worth going on a second date with.
Your mind and soul should be pure and open to new experiences. Once they are, the label of an ‘undateable’ girl will finally disappear.
There are reasons why you think you are undateable. I get it. We have all had bad experiences in love.
It doesn’t mean you should isolate yourself and think that you are undateable, though.
Improve your confidence and improve your overall interaction, and guys will approach you like crazy.