Having a friendship with benefits with someone you’re in love with can be quite an issue.
Relationships like these always end up with one (or both) of you falling in love with the other. You can always kiss someone, but when you combine a friendship with physical intimacy, you’re bound to fall in love.
Especially when you’re best friends. He knows your secrets, your favorite song, how to make you smile when you’re about to cry.
You know what makes him mad and how to distract him from the cruelty of this world. You make him laugh until the ice cream you were just eating comes out through his nose.
It’s disgusting, but it’s what friends do.
And then, when no one else is around, you lose yourselves in each other. You kiss with such passion that you forget that you’re not supposed to fall in love with him.
That’s why you’re here now. What do you need to do to turn your friends-with-benefits relationship into an actual love story?
What if you tell him that you love him and then you lose your best friend as well? You don’t want to lose him, but you also can’t lie to him anymore.
Let me help you figure this out and not only keep your best friend, but start an actual romantic relationship with him.
1. Talk about meaningful things
Chances are that you’ve already talked about meaningful topics. If he’s your best friend, you’ve talked about these issues. However, there must be things that you’ve never talked about.
Have you ever spoken about relationships? Why not try playing 21 questions with each other and use it as an excuse to initiate this conversation.
Talk about meaningful things when you’re together. Don’t just let things be physical between you. You can talk about your relationships, your childhood, your family and friends.
You can talk about the things you want to achieve and the dreams you have.
These conversations will bring you closer. He’ll get to know you better and fall in love with the woman you are.
2. Be affectionate if he’s alright with that
Of course, we have to be aware of each other’s boundaries. You can’t just sit in his lap in public if he doesn’t feel comfortable with it.
However, every little display of affection will send the right message, so don’t be afraid to be affectionate.
You can test the waters very easily. For example, if you touch his arm and he doesn’t shy away from your touch, it may be an obvious sign he likes you on a deeper level.
Also, when you’re touching him in public, you’re actually subtly telling him that you like him as well. He’s getting comfortable with the idea of PDA and showing others that you belong together.
3. Try to take him out on a date
You’re probably terrified at the thought, but you’ll thank me later. For starters, don’t ask him directly to go on a date with you. You might actually scare the poor guy.
But what you can do is tell him to meet you for drinks. Tell him that you want to go eat pizza or something.
You’ll both cherish these little moments and they’ll give the opportunity to get to know each other better. You’ll actually show him that dating isn’t that scary and that a romantic and committed relationship would be fun.
You’re having fun right now, so things won’t be that different when you’re in an actual relationship. I know that being friends with benefits can be hard, but these little moments will be worth it, I promise.
4. Stop seeing other people
If you’re really into this man, you should be able to stop seeing other people. You don’t want him to go out with other women either, so you shouldn’t be dating others.
Especially if you have actual intentions of creating a romantic relationship with your friends-with-benefits partner, then you need to stop seeing other people. Being exclusive is the first step in creating something serious.
You can try and have this conversation with him or even casually mention it. Pushing him to make things exclusive might only push you two apart, so you really want to be very careful broaching the topic.
5. Cuddle with him
Usually, a friendship with benefits doesn’t include any of this cheesy stuff. You get what you want and then you’re out of there. You’re lucky if you get a kiss on the cheek on the way out.
So, what you want to do is cuddle with him whenever you can. You might want to tell him that you want to watch a movie together and cuddle on the couch.
Bonus points if you’re cuddling in pajamas. Relationships are filled with these vulnerable, cute, and cheesy moments. Please don’t hold back on this one and actually commit to spending time together.
He’ll realize just how comfortable he feels with you.
6. Make him chase you
He won’t know your worth if you’re always available. He’ll think that he can do whatever he wants and never ask himself what would happen if he actually lost you.
I’m not saying you need to break things up and stop your agreement right away, just show him that he has to work to get your time.
Don’t always answer his call on the first ring and actually tell him that you’re not available tonight. Tell him that you’ve made plans with the girls. Show him that this game is played by two.
Don’t make everything so easy for him. You’re an amazing and wonderful woman and just because you’re friends with benefits, it doesn’t mean that he has the right to all of your time.
He has to work for it! He has to make an effort!
So when he sees that you’re not playing games anymore, he’ll come running to you.