In modern media, emotional affairs don’t get as much attention as the act of physical cheating.
An emotional affair is very quiet. It happens slowly and it doesn’t always have to be under the cover of darkness.
More than once, a physical affair has been excused by the influence of alcohol or something similar.
However, an emotional affair can’t be excused that simply.
It takes time to realize that you don’t love your partner enough and then find emotional comfort in someone else.
You may have been suspicious for quite some time now that your partner has been having an emotional affair.
Or you’re someone who never thought their partner could do this, but you’re also not able to let slide some of the things he says and does.
People tend to consider emotional cheating to be far more concerning than physical cheating.
Why? Because it’s like a silent hurricane.
When someone physically cheats on you, you’re met with a broken heart so sudden that it gives you whiplash.
Heartbreak from being emotionally cheated on is very slow, very painful. It gives you a list of doubts and unmet expectations.
To make matters worse, more times than not, emotional cheating leads to physical cheating as well. Those two lovebirds will want to be near each other in any way possible.
So, are you seeing the signs your partner is having an emotional affair?
1. He hides his phone
This shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. When your partner is hiding his phone, it’s the first red flag that he’s cheating!
Whether it’s emotional or physical cheating, the evidence is always on his phone.
What other reason would he have for hiding it from you? Privacy grounds?
No, you should never want to check his phone without his permission, but he shouldn’t be hiding it from you either.
If you ask him who he’s texting, he should be honest about it.
If he has nothing to hide from you, he won’t be so opposed to letting you see his messages.
You’re a couple and couples share that type of stuff.
Not because you’re possessive over your partner, but because you don’t have anything to hide from them so you share things without hesitation.
2. He doesn’t talk about his problems as much
Another sign of emotional cheating is if he has stopped sharing his problems with you.
He just comes home from work and tells you how his day went in two sentences.
Usually, it would be a long conversation about the issues he has with his boss or co-workers.
Of course, it’s not the only possible reason why he’s being so reserved toward you.
However, you know your partner well enough to know that this isn’t normal behavior.
He’s being extremely reserved about his personal life and that isn’t usual between two people who should love each other.
This is one of the signs that he’s having an emotional affair. He’s finding all his emotional support in someone else.
He confides in that person and doesn’t feel the need to share the same things with two different people.
3. You’re not invited when they hang out
Having a platonic relationship that is healthy and where everyone knows their boundaries is actually very recommended.
But what happens when he’s closer to that ‘platonic’ female friend than he is to you? They hang out often and most of the time, it’s just the two of them.
Whenever he gets home, he avoids talking about the details of their time together. Should that concern you?
I believe that we, as women, always have a certain radar about women that we can and can’t trust.
If that particular gut feeling is telling you that you shouldn’t allow this to continue happening then voice your opinion.
Of course, you understand that everyone needs alone time with their friends, but when you’re constantly left out of any plans these two make, you should be worried.
4. He complains about you to other people
There will be many times when you open up a group chat with your friends and complain about how mad you are at your partner.
You complain about your fights with him and even let your girlfriends say a few bad things about him, to take the edge off it.
However, what happens when one of your partner’s friends comes up to you and asks you what’s going on with the two of you?
This friend tells you about the problems your partner complained of that you knew nothing about.
Or you might have seen texts he sent to one particular person, gossiping about you.
He said weird things about your cooking, or about how annoying you and your laugh are.
A man who is emotionally invested in your relationship would never do that. He’s just finding excuses for his own behavior.
He thinks that if he finds enough faults in you, it’s okay for him to find someone better.
5. He seems to know A LOT about her
A very subtle but early sign that your partner is having an emotional affair is when he tell you random facts about a certain female friend.
If he talks about some friend and drops her name, and then mentions her in stories from his past from time to time, it’s probably not a big deal.
However, if those little remarks happen quite often, you should be worried.
You shouldn’t take it lightly when you buy him chocolate and he’s like: “Aw, that’s the same chocolate Anna always buys me.”
Or if you recommend visiting a certain bar in town and he says: “Sure! Anna and I always visit that bar. They have her favorite drinks, too!”
You could probably quiz this man about this Anna person and he’d know everything about her.
We don’t remember such random facts about all of the people in our life, do we now?
Only the special few.
6. He compares you to her
When your boyfriend or husband has a crush on someone else, aka an emotional affair, he will most probably constantly compare you to her.
He sees her as this magical creature who can do no wrong in this world, which is extremely detrimental to your own self-esteem.
Being compared to a woman who you might not even know feels like an actual attack on who you are as a person.
This isn’t even a subtle sign that he’s having an emotional affair.
He’s going out of his way to tell you just how happy and smiley Heather always is, while you’re always so grumpy.
He says that you’re too thin or too fat, while Heather is just perfect.
“Why can’t you cook like her? Why can’t you understand me like she does?”
At some point, it’ll just break you even further, so it’s best for you to walk away. Don’t let him stay in your life.
My friend, you have been cheated on.