At some point or another, we’re all scared that our relationship may turn into a habit. So many people around us are stuck in relationships way after they’ve stopped loving each other.
We, as human beings, are simply known to hold on to things for too long. We forget what it was like to live without something, so we stay out of fear of change.
Sometimes, we hold on to a person because they’ve been in our life for a long time already. It would feel weird to not have them around or to wake up one morning and realize that they’re not there anymore.
When these things start happening, we completely ignore the fact that our heart isn’t involved in that relationship any longer. So are you and your partner staying together out of love or out of habit?
1. You make big decisions without talking about them first
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you have expectations. You want to get married one day, move in together, and then have kids but what happens when you do all of these things without ever talking about them?
It may seem like the next logical step for you both but it’s definitely worth talking about first. You can go into all of these things and not even realize that you’re just ticking off boxes in your life.
You felt comfortable enough with this man, you settled, and now you just take one huge leap after another.
That’s when couples get stuck and realize that most of the things that are happening to them are happening out of habit more than out of love.
When you love someone, you’ll want to talk things through and see for yourself whether things are going to work out. When they’re done out of habit, it’s simply nothing more than another box ticked on your list of things to do.
2. You do things because you feel like you have to
When a relationship turns into a habit, you feel like you’re obligated to do things for your significant other because you have to and not because you want to.
Of course, there are times when you want to put his wants and needs above yours but that’s when you ask for things in return as well.
At one point in your relationship, things won’t look that pretty. For instance, you may change the way you dress because he demands it and you don’t have the will to fight him on these things.
You don’t want to argue but you also don’t want to break up with him over trivial things. So you don’t talk about it, you just do it to save a disagreement.
In your head, it’s better to just stay silent for a while instead of starting an argument over it.
3. You feel relieved when he’s not around
Your relationship is a habit when the absence of your partner feels like a breath of fresh air. His absence, for however long, makes you so happy.
Whenever he’s not around you, you feel like you can finally be yourself again. His presence may make you feel stuck even if you’re not aware of it.
You love to go out with your friends because it feels like you’re finally doing something for yourself instead of doing something for him.
A relationship should definitely enhance your experience of life. He should be the one you go to relax and unwind but you go to other people so that you can forget about him for a moment.
Whenever you realize that you have to go back home to him, your mood sours. This is definitely a sign that you’re staying in the relationship out of habit because that’s certainly not love.
4. You stay together because it’s convenient
How long have you been together? It’s been years, hasn’t it?
You can probably say that you’ve thought about breaking up with him multiple times but now, you feel like it’s just a hassle that you don’t want to deal with.
You’d be breaking his heart and probably breaking your own as well. You’ll be left to look him in the eyes and tell him that all those years were for nothing because you’re leaving him.
When you put it like that, things sound absolutely horrible. You feel like an awful person for even thinking it.
So you brush those thoughts aside and pretend as if nothing’s wrong. It’s simply more convenient to stay in a relationship with this man than to deal with the pain and heartbreak of a break-up.
You can suffer through this rather than watch him cry, right? That’s a clear sign that your relationship is nothing more than a habit and has nothing to do with love.
5. You check out other men
Before you start being extremely defensive about this issue, let me just tell you that checking out other men doesn’t mean that you’re acting on those thoughts.
When a cute guy walks by, you give him a once-over but you don’t approach him, you don’t talk to him or any of that. You’re just able to appreciate a good-looking man.
However, if your relationship was one of love, you wouldn’t have eyes for anyone other than your man. It may sound bad but when you’re in a relationship out of habit, you also think that you have the right to look at other men.
6. You’re afraid to be alone
When you’ve been with someone for years, the thoughts of living by yourself, waking up one morning, and realizing that you’re single are so extremely terrifying.
Even though your relationship may not be the healthiest, you’re still able to rely on him more than anyone else. He’s like a safe haven because you know that he’s always going to be there.
What does this say about your relationship, except for the fact that you’re not independent? It’s that you’ve attached your own self to him to the point where you let this relationship be a part of your personality.
You feel like you won’t survive alone. So one day, when you wake up and you’re single again, you’ll ask yourself who you are without this man in your life.
This is a clear sign that this relationship is a habit to you. If it was a relationship that was filled with love, you wouldn’t even think about walking away from him.