You think you love him so much but the truth has everything to do with toxic attachment. You’re trying so hard to convince yourself that you want him in your life but you know that he’s bad for you.
More often than not, we don’t even see that we’re toxically attached to someone. We just know that their presence in our life is needed.
You want him to stay right there with you but somehow this doesn’t feel right. At the beginning of the relationship, you felt like things were going in the right direction but now you’re just running in circles.
What’s going on? Will you spend an eternity unhappy with this man and not know why that’s happening?
Let’s see whether you’re just toxically attached to your boyfriend because if you are, it also means that you don’t really love him.
1. You’re constantly anxious
We always hear about how love gives us a sense of security and that’s the complete truth. When you love someone, you feel safe and sound in their arms, as well as when they’re not physically around.
You know that you’ve found your person and you love them with your entire heart. However, when you’re in a toxic attachment, there’s nothing safe about that.
You’re constantly anxious and you feel like everything will fall apart at any minute. This makes you feel that if he decides to walk away from you, you’re going to lose not only him but yourself as well.
You’re anxious because you overanalyze everything this person does to the nth degree. That’s why you’re aware of even the smallest difference in his demeanor.
You hear the small changes in his voice and you automatically assume that he’ll leave you. However, love doesn’t make you feel like that.
2. You feel euphoric when he’s around
Who doesn’t like to have their person around all the time? I mean, we’re in relationships with people that we love to spend our time with, right?
But what happens when you’re so miserable without your boyfriend around that you feel almost euphoric when he’s near you? That’s probably why you’re doing so much and you’re trying so hard to always be around him.
This can also be attributed to your anxiety. You feel like nothing in this world can prepare you for the moment when your partner has to go to work or do anything without you.
That’s toxic attachment but you should be able to live your life without having to always have that person around. When you love someone, you’re prepared to let them live their life because you have your own to live.
You’ll get together later and tell each other everything about it but that’s not what happens when you’re toxically attached to one another.
3. You avoid conflict at all costs
A common thing that happens with someone who doesn’t love their partner but is attached to them in an unhealthy manner is that they avoid conflict like the plague.
How do you react during conflict? Do you start crying or do you try to smooth things out before they escalate?
What do you do when you don’t like something that he’s doing? Do you just stay quiet?
Well, you see, you wouldn’t be doing that if you loved your partner. You’d talk to him about all the things that bother you and more often than not, you’d listen to his complaints.
There will always be problems in every relationship because you are two completely different people who are trying to make a joint life work. If you truly did love him, you’d understand that.
4. Your entire personality is based around him
If you’ve started doing things just for his approval, then you have an issue. In toxic attachment, all you do is base your entire personality around this one person.
You feel like you have to like the same things he does and do the same things he does, and you have to support all of his behavior and opinions. But that’s not really how things work.
You shouldn’t lose your own individuality just because you’re in a relationship. You shouldn’t have to set aside your likes and dislikes or feel ashamed because of them just because your partner doesn’t share the same interests.
Loving someone doesn’t mean that you have to take on everything that they do. Of course, you could genuinely fall in love with something they’ve shared with you but that also doesn’t have to happen.
5. You experience a lot of jealousy
Because of your anxiety and because of how toxic your relationship is, you experience a lot of jealousy. The thought of your partner leaving you for someone else leaves you feeling crazy.
You don’t even want that image in your head anymore and that jealousy ends up being extremely irrational. You’re jealous of anyone he spends more time with, including his co-workers, friends, family, and so on.
You’re so extremely angry when he decides that he’s going to spend some time in a bar with his friends. You feel betrayed right away.
When you love someone, you simply want them to be happy. Whether that means you’re around or not, it doesn’t matter.
He has the right to choose things for himself and if that means that he’s going after another woman, then you have to love yourself more.
6. You’re not growing in your relationship
A loving and caring relationship always leaves you in a state of constant growth. You learn from each other, you try new things together, you understand your partner, and you feel motivated to work on yourself.
When you feel like you’re in a toxic attachment, you simply stop growing as individuals, as well as a couple. That’s when you stop working on yourself because your partner already chose you.
You stop taking care of yourself and you stop working on things like your career or your hobbies, or you completely stop hanging out with your friends. This is a very obvious sign you’ll be able to spot even a few months into the relationship.
So keep both your eyes open. Don’t let your relationship become like this.
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