Every relationship has a different dynamic under which it works.
Some people prefer open relationships, while others can only feel loved in a monogamous one.
Either way, you and your partner establish certain boundaries which can’t be crossed because of mutual respect.
Establishing these boundaries also means making sure that your partner knows what you do and don’t consider to be cheating.
Sometimes certain behaviors don’t seem acceptable. They make you feel bad or insecure but you can’t really put your finger on what the problem is.
He isn’t being physical with another woman, he isn’t having sex with anyone else, but you aren’t making out with him either.
You can trust your partner and you know that they’re being honest when they say that they haven’t cheated on you.
However, his behavior with a certain female ‘friend’ seems off to you. Do you know the minor things that can be considered as cheating as well?
If he does any of these, you might have to rethink whether he’s cheating or not.
1. Commenting on thirst traps
We are not able to escape the bounds of social media nowadays.
Instagram is full of thirst traps, from women and men alike, simply enjoying their own bodies and confidently posting on their social media accounts.
You see, there is no problem with that.
The problem occurs if your partner comments on other women’s thirst traps and these could be inappropriate remarks or any other type of comment where they compliment their bodies.
This might seem like a small thing, but he goes out of his way to follow these individuals and comment on their posts to get their attention for at least a moment.
You know that you wouldn’t comment on someone’s thirst trap without certain intentions so why does he feel the need and freedom to comment on their posts without being concerned about what you might think about this?
Can you find a good reason to justify following one of your exes on social media?
You keep them on your feed simply to check on their lives. You stalk them, see if they’re happier than you, and so on, which is in itself toxic.
However, what if he keeps on following his ex?
Especially if you told him that you find this to be very inappropriate and he tells you that it’s nothing or not to worry about it.
You might have even told him multiple times about this issue, but he still doesn’t listen.
And what happens when you catch him messaging his ex secretly?
He isn’t ready to emotionally detach himself from her and he’s still texting her. You and I both know that this is not all right.
3. Staying friends with someone he hooked up with
Either while he was drunk at a party or simply in a friends-with-benefits type of relationship, he hooked up with this person before you two were together.
The sexual tension was strong enough for them to end up in each other’s arms at least once. What makes you believe that this will not happen again?
He might say that it was a mistake.
He might even say that he doesn’t know what came over him to find her attractive in that way before, but the thought that he knows what she looks like naked will not make you feel any better!
Talk to him. If he refuses to cut her off, even though it makes you very uncomfortable, there must be something more going on.
Keeping a hookup close only means that he wants to be sure that he has a quick replacement if he needs it.
4. Frequent texting
We all tend to text too much these days. We try to stay connected with the people we are not able to see too often.
But whenever you ask him who he’s texting, he plays it off in a way that says that he doesn’t want you to see who or what he’s messaging.
He laughs quite often whenever he looks at his phone and he doesn’t even want to show you what he finds funny.
You’re right if you say that this is super suspicious.
You are not crazy for wanting to know who he’s texting and why he’s doing it so often.
Trust is earned through communication and complete honesty, not through hiding and lying.
I don’t think it’s a good idea to take his phone when he’s not looking and go through his text messages.
Him hiding his phone says enough. If he doesn’t want to show or tell you about it then you might as well believe the worst because he’s not giving you another explanation.
5. Not wanting you to meet an acquaintance of his
He’s always talking about this person, who might be a childhood friend that he video-chats with very often or a friend he met a month ago that he talks about constantly.
At first, you thought it to be adorable. Your partner has a female friend who he’s very close to!
You might even get excited that he gives female friends a try because he’s always around the guys and it’s not the most promising environment.
The issue is that whenever you ask if you can meet her, he plays it off, saying that she’s too busy.
Somehow she’s always too busy to meet you, but never too busy to go out alone with him and/or his friends.
She might be an amazing girl for all you know, but your mind is waving red flags around because you simply can’t trust this situation.
He doesn’t even try to deal with this issue, but rather brushes it off. He might even say that you’re overreacting or that you’re just jealous.
6. Frequently having dinner with someone
This is the biggest red flag. Frequently going to dinner or lunch with someone he might be interested in is just like going out on dates.
He might play it down, saying that it’s just two friends going to eat together, but who are we kidding here?
This is exactly what a date looks like, so don’t even try to lie to yourself, especially if it happens quite often.
Cheating doesn’t always have to be physical. Sometimes it’s the little things that make us insecure about our relationship.
This can be a huge problem, especially if your partner doesn’t even try to acknowledge the issues you have with his behavior.
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