“You should never settle for less in love!”
It’s always so much easier to give someone else this advice than to actually listen to it yourself.
I was the person who would always tell my friends that they shouldn’t settle for a man who doesn’t give all his effort to a relationship.
What happened? They would stay in those mostly loveless relationships and that’s when I figured that the sentence itself has lost its meaning.
We read about how we shouldn’t settle and we say those words without ever stuttering. However, that is not what we’re supposed to do.
We’re supposed to understand the meaning behind those words and feel them resonate within our soul.
Why? Because you and I truly should never settle for less.
It took me years of working on myself to conquer my fears of being alone and lonely to actually realize what people meant when they said that love is about more than settling.
I was always a hopeless romantic, which is a blessing and a curse, if you ask me.
My romantic nature led me into the arms of men who were just about okay. They would text me back; days later, mind, but they would.
Those men would remember to take me out on dates; once every few months maybe, but it still happened.
I thought that that was what it was supposed to be like. I remember thinking that everyone gets busy sometimes and that I needed to understand that.
However, when I saw that those men would make more time for everyone other than me, that was when it clicked with me.
Men who don’t give me the same energy back are not worthy of my time and I am not going to settle. You shouldn’t either.
1. We have nothing to fear
The first reason why you shouldn’t settle is that you and I have nothing to fear.
Women settle for men who don’t deserve them because they are scared that they are either too old, or too this, or too that to ever find love.
However, let me be the one to tell you that you will find love. Just because you’re scared for whatever reason doesn’t mean you have to settle.
Here you are, thinking about all the ways he’s done you wrong, but still choosing to stay by his side.
That’s not all right and you know it just as much as I do. You and I shouldn’t be scared of walking away.
2. We deserve better
As women, we have always been put down and we have been made to believe that we don’t deserve certain things that we want.
I have had friends who believed that just because they were married, they should endure unacceptable behavior from their husbands.
That is sad. That is devastating.
You, me, and every woman out there deserves so much more than that. We deserve to be loved and cared for.
We deserve someone who will go out of their way to impress us even after years spent together.
You should never settle for less because your special someone should always be on the lookout for things that could make you happy.
He should reply to a text within minutes and plan an entire day to spend with you whenever you’re both free, not use every opportunity he has to avoid spending time with you.
3. We should have romance
I heard once that there is a ‘friendship’ type of marriage. You trust this person, they can make you happy, but there is no romance.
Passion is extremely important in relationships, including marriages, so a lack of passion or a lack of romance will be very obvious in yours.
You will always have a bitter smile on your face whenever you realize that this is not what you were looking for in a romantic relationship.
You wanted all that cheesy stuff other couples do, like random bouquets of roses or romantic dates.
No one said that we are asking for expensive gifts. We are asking for effort. We are asking for our partner to think of us and make sure that we’re happy.
That’s why we should never settle for less. It’ll only make us sad and troubled.
4. We shouldn’t waste our time
When the man you’re settling for is too busy to text back, you sit next to the phone and wait.
You waste your time on someone who can’t be bothered to pay you a crumb of attention instead of spending that time on someone who actually cares about you.
You waste your time on this man instead of spending it on yourself and working on yourself.
This time could be spent cooking something delicious or you could read a bunch of books in the time you spend waiting for him to realize your worth.
The truth is that I have so many things to do in my life that waiting for someone to come to their senses isn’t something I am obligated to do.
5. We shouldn’t fall in love with someone’s potential
One of the main reasons why we choose to settle is because we fall in love with the potential in other people.
We get one adorable text, one beautiful surprise and we see how sweet they can be. We hold on to that like a lifeline.
However, it’s all about consistency. If a man isn’t consistent, he doesn’t deserve you. If a man makes a decision to be sweet once, he can do it more often.
You give so much of yourself into relationships and that is exactly why you should never settle for less!
6. It’s better to be single than to settle
The main reason why you and I should never settle is because it’s always better to be single.
It’s better to be single and spend time working on yourself than put all your efforts into someone who doesn’t even know how to treat you right.
You have the full possibility to start a new relationship that fulfills all your wants and needs.
It’s better to be single even if it will get lonely sometimes, and it’s still more fulfilling than being in a relationship with someone just because you are scared to be alone.
I will never settle for less than I deserve and you shouldn’t either.