Relationships can really be tough sometimes. Even if you give your best and put in your every effort, there’s still the possibility you won’t end up spending the rest of your life with that person.
And sometimes, you’ll simply be out of luck and attract the wrong kind of guys. Those toxic ones who make your life a living hell, damage you mentally as well as emotionally, and then leave you alone.
One thing that you need to keep in mind is that those men are the damaged ones. Don’t blame yourself if you’ve had your fair share of toxic men.
But there must be something peculiar about you that makes them fall in love with you, right? It can’t be just a coincidence that every guy you’ve given your heart to is a manipulative and toxic douche who only cares about himself.
So, here are some possibilities as to why that happens to you.
1. You’re empathetic
Some relationship experts will say that opposites attract, but that’s only somewhat true. Even though that sounds romantic and great to some extent, there are instances when that’s absolutely inaccurate.
A toxic and manipulative guy will always search for an empathetic woman because she’ll attentively listen to everything he has to say. If you consider yourself to be a highly sensitive and emotional girl, then you’ll definitely feel sorry for him and have this desire to help him in any way you can.
But that’s exactly how those guys prey on their victims.
Remember that toxic men are great actors. They’re excellent at creating scenarios in which they’re the ones who need support from you. They twist the situation the way they want it as it’s natural for them to tell lies to others.
In the end, your poor, empathetic soul gets caught in his web of insincerity and you pay a heavy price for it.
2. You’re disappointed in love
Perhaps you were hurt badly too many times and now you’ve lost faith in love. After all, it’s not that easy to get back up on your feet again if the only thing you’ve ever known is pain and suffering.
And what’s interesting about toxic men is that they can sense when you’re feeling down and disappointed in love. They’re naturally drawn to you because they know they’re more likely able to take advantage of you since your opinion about true love is turned upside down.
Usually, they’re cunning and highly intelligent, and they’re aware that they can trick you, considering your heart is in a state of healing, which leaves you vulnerable.
3. You have low self-esteem and self-confidence
Many toxic guys will consider you an irresistible woman because of the fact that you don’t love yourself properly. And since you have low self-esteem and self-confidence, they don’t feel like they need to respect or appreciate you in any way.
It’s fairly easy to become someone’s victim if you don’t value yourself enough. You’ll always seek validation from others because you’re unable to see your own worth.
On the other hand, a toxic man will run from a woman who has high standards because he knows there’s no way that he can make her doubt herself. That’s why they’re drawn to insecure women who lack self-love.
4. You have the urge to fix people
Tell me, do you honestly believe that you can change your man just by loving him and giving him everything that you’ve got? Do you think that love can move mountains and make a man commit to you?
If your answer is yes, then it’s only a matter of time before you run into another toxic man. The thing is, you believe that your love and help can actually make a positive impact on him – that he’ll transform and become a better man.
But sweetie, you’re living in an illusion. That will never happen. Those types of men will always have issues that need to be solved.
The fact of the matter is that regardless of what you say to him or do for him, he’s never going to get better. He doesn’t need a girlfriend, he needs professional help.
5. They see you as their beacon of light
There are instances when a toxic man realizes that his behavior is awful and he needs to change certain things about himself. In that case, he’ll be attracted to a woman with a healthy lifestyle because he sees her as his beacon of light.
Unfortunately, this isn’t as good as it sounds. Because the chances are slim to none that he’s ever going to improve himself. He’ll always revert to his bad behavior since that saves his heart from being broken.
He may try to listen to you. But as soon as he sees he’s got to open up to you and show you his vulnerable side, he’ll immediately shut you down and ghost you. A man like that doesn’t know better and his values and standards are different from yours.
6. You fail to set boundaries
Maybe you failed to set boundaries because you thought that might hurt his feelings in some weird way. Or perhaps you simply wanted to avoid conflict. But here’s the hard lesson:
If you don’t want to be disappointed in love, then you have to set boundaries from the very beginning.
The thing is, a toxic man will see this and use the given opportunity to lure you into his trap. He’ll use you to boost his ego and come to you every time he needs a fix.
Again, it’s your insecurity and good heart that make you vulnerable here. You have to be strong enough to speak up when enough is enough and stand up for yourself when faced with manipulative guys.