Being the other woman isn’t fun. There are so many things that occur and your heart never heals.
It doesn’t matter what the actual cause is for the fact that you’ve become the other woman, but it never has a nice background story.
The background of every single woman who has been considered a ‘side piece’ is almost always unsettling and we should remember that.
Whether you want to forgive her or not, that’s your choice of course.
I was in that situation once and it’s not glamorous, it’s not beautiful. At times, it’s anything but that.
Nevertheless, I have spoken to my friends who I know were also the other woman at one point.
We exchanged what happened in our experiences.
Some of us did know that the man was cheating on his girlfriend, while others were oblivious to that fact.
This is a brief list of lessons that we learned in situations where we were the other woman and what that actually meant for us.
1. It really is a man’s choice
There are women out there who go out of their way to accuse the other woman of their husband’s infidelity.
My friend said how she was pursuing a married man once and he never gave her any signals.
He was polite and she actually thought that she had a chance.
He told her how flattered he was with her attention but that she should stop pursuing him.
This man loved his wife more than anything. Why would he cheat on her?
In my eyes, the amount of respect this man has is enormous!
A man will never cheat on his wife or girlfriend if he doesn’t want to. Period.
If he does cheat, it isn’t just because the girl is good-looking.
2. It’s not your fault if he cheats
This one I know from personal experience. When I was the other woman, the man didn’t tell me that he was already in a relationship.
This, of course, led to me being extremely oblivious to the fact that he was cheating on his girlfriend.
When she found out that he had and she came to me to confront me, I was petrified.
What happened next actually shocked me, because she started crying. She didn’t understand why he would do that to her.
She asked me (probably in shock) if she wasn’t enough for him.
I assured her that it wasn’t her fault and that I would break up with him right that second (which I did).
Women are such loving creatures that we don’t want to blame others, but we rather blame ourselves.
However, it’s never the fault of the other woman. He chose to cheat.
3. You are never his biggest priority
When you’re the other woman, you’re never the biggest priority in his life.
Even when he does try to hide his relationship from you, you can see it in his actions.
A cheater will always find excuses as to why he can’t see you, but he will expect you to put everything aside for him.
He will never go the extra mile for you, only enough that he’s comfortable with.
If you need someone to talk to, he won’t be there for you. His shoulder is not yours to cry on and he’ll make sure you know that.
If you make dinner for both of you while his partner also made food, he will always choose her first.
The other woman is always just someone on the side.
4. Your heart can stay protected
If you get into a relationship with a man who’s already taken, you know what you’re getting yourself into.
You know that he has someone to keep his bed warm at night, someone to keep him company. You are just a side deal.
This means that your heart can remain protected because you know better than to fall in love with a taken man.
You don’t need commitment because abandonment would hurt even more.
There is a very small (more like non-existent) chance that he will leave his partner and we live with that one way or another.
5. It’s flattering
You’re getting attention from a man who obviously has someone he’s devoted to.
He desires you besides having another woman at home, waiting for him!
Of course, it’s flattering when this is a man who will ignore society’s norms for you.
He will want you even though he could lose more than just his current girlfriend and how often does that happen?
You feel wanted, you feel needed, you feel empowered.
Also, even though we probably shouldn’t, we feel a thrill at the thought of doing something like this (even if we do know that it’s morally wrong).
6. You constantly question yourself
The other woman will always question her morals. She will always question her motives and whether she should really continue what she’s doing.
Most of the time, the other woman knows what’s going on. She knows that this man is cheating on his significant other.
There is a huge problem here, because every single one of us has thought about snitching.
We always want to protect other women and that’s where the dilemma arises.
Wouldn’t we want someone to tell us if our boyfriend was cheating?
In your eyes, it might be disgusting, but we really do question everything we have ever done because of this.
Plus it’s horrible, but the thrill is always there.