Let’s call a spade a spade. When he’s playing the victim, he’s actually emotionally manipulating you.
You’ve met a man like this at least once in your life, haven’t you?
He plays victim to make you feel sorry for thim and to reduce the impact of his actions. If you’re angry at him, he manipulates you into believing that he didn’t do anything wrong. You’ll even feel bad for getting angry at the guy.
You see, your partner may be doing the same thing to you. You just don’t realize it because you don’t want to believe that the man you love so much would ever do something like this to you.
But it’s a real thing some men do to manipulate the woman they’re dating into believing that it’s not their fault.
So the next time you get angry at him, don’t let him play the victim. He has to own up to his mistakes and apologize genuinely.
If he continues to act this way, you have to call him out on it. If you don’t, it only puts you in a very bad position and slams your mental health.
If you see any of these behaviors, then you should know that he’s just playing the victim.
1. He feels sorry for himself
If he’s pretending to be a victim in this world, then he’ll always blame everyone and feel sorry for himself. He doesn’t understand how other people can live without understanding his issues.
He needs everyone to understand that he’s the most unfortunate person in this world. Rationally speaking, though, his life isn’t even that hard.
Everyone has ups and downs on their way to success, but he makes it seem as if the entire universe is plotting against him. He’s always telling you about the awful things people do to him and how no one gets him.
This can also be directed at you. He’ll say that you’re at fault for his bad behavior and that you can’t expect him to act differently for a long list of reasons that only make sense to him.
But you know that you’re being reasonable. So why does he make such a fuss about everything? Can a person really feel this much self-pity?
2. He doesn’t see what he did wrong
Whenever you’re in an argument, he completely misinterprets your words because, in his reality, he incapable of making any mistakes. He’s not able to see what he did wrong and so he blames you for everything.
You probably tried to explain everything to him on multiple occasions, but he obviously doesn’t take you seriously. All he sees is that you’re attacking him and that he needs to defend himself.
So he will ask you questions over and over again that’ll completely confuse you. He will make it seem as if he’s the right one and you’re falsely accusing him.
3. He takes any criticism as a personal insult
We all know that we have to communicate and talk things through to be able to grow as individuals. You can’t be in a relationship with someone who isn’t able to grow and doesn’t even want to listen to positive criticism.
I know that being honest with someone can go brutally wrong if you’re not careful about the words you use.
Because of that, you’re much more selective with your word choices when talking to him. Still, he still manages to find an insult in your words.
This probably also means that he doesn’t change his behavior. He thinks you’re putting him down instead of giving him feedback.
If you tell him something along the lines of “I don’t feel loved anymore,” his response is like “So, you’re saying that I’m a bad boyfriend, aren’t you?” It’s always an insult to him, even though you never said anything to hurt him.
4. He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions
Why would he take responsibility for his actions if he doesn’t even see what your point is? He can’t get why you’re mad when he isn’t able to realize that he did something wrong. That’s just sad, but it’s really true.
This is one of those signs that show he’s playing the victim whenever you try to confront him about something he did wrong.
You will never see him own his mistakes. All you’ll ever get is “I’m sorry you feel that way” instead of “I’m sorry for doing that, it won’t happen again.”
You’re always the bad guy at the end of the day.
5. He always compares himself to other men
This is a tough one to cope with. When you’re in a relationship with someone who envies others and is extremely jealous, there’s not much you can do to make them feel less insecure.
At some point, he’ll bring up your male friends and start to compare himself to them. “I don’t think I will ever look the way Tyler does, you’re probably more attracted to him,” or “I know Chad earns more than I do, he could provide for you.”
This can get exhausting because you always have to reassure him that he’s the man you want in your life. He’s continuously playing the injured party, telling you that he’s not worthy of your love.
It’s taxing to have to always have the same conversation with him.
There really isn’t a reason for him to be jealous because you’re his girlfriend and you are loyal to him only. But he makes it seem as if you’d leave him for any of those other men in no time.
6. He says that all of his exes were crazy
This is an immediate red flag. You really shouldn’t even start something serious with a guy who calls all of his exes crazy and just bad people. Think about it for a second, how could that even be possible?
It takes two people to ruin a relationship, it’s never the fault of just one. Sure, there are bad people in this world, but if he dated many girls, there’s no chance they could all be bad.
He’s telling you that because he’s trying to play the victim card again. He wants you to pity him and feel sympathy for his awful past. This way he can manipulate you into going easier on him even when he does make a mistake.
The truth is, a man who takes responsibility for his actions will understand what he did wrong in his past relationships. This guy of yours isn’t like that.