Love is something we all crave, right? Everyone wants to feel that warmth spreading through their heart and soul.
Nothing can replace those butterflies in the pit of your stomach when you see your crush. Love is a big word and can mean different things to people.
It’s a romantic relationship, taking care of a friend, or love for your pet. Whatever the kind may be, it’s always accepted and welcomed with open arms.
Being in love with someone can change us and our perspective fully. But what happens when you somehow fail to welcome love every time?
You meet people all the time and they have so much to offer you. You have so much to give them in return, but it somehow doesn’t feel right.
All you ever do is find someone who can be a really good friend or someone who has a bad impact on you. We know modern dating is hard; or are you just out of luck?
For the first few times, it seems evident that other people are the problem. They’re damaged, not ready to commit, looking for a fling, etc.
But what when this continues happening? Something’s keeping you from finding love and you don’t know the cause.
Could it possibly be something you do? Is your mind playing tricks that keep you from reaching the happily ever after?
It’s hard to ask ourselves this question for some reason. As humans, we tend to start looking for mistakes in others.
We’re always the last ones to put a question mark over. It just doesn’t feel possible that you’re the problem because you’ve never had these issues before.
Somehow, they’ve gone unnoticed and you always used to think it’s not you, it’s them. Maybe your mindsets are toxic?
1. I’m unlovable
This toxic mindset can for sure leave an impact on your life in general, especially on your romantic relationships.
If you think of yourself as someone who doesn’t deserve to be loved, it’s possible for that thought to become a reality.
You are what you think, and people can sense that. This way, you’re making yourself an easy target for those who want to take advantage of you.
For instance, you make for a perfect narcissistic supply. However, don’t blame others once you end up all alone or in a toxic relationship.
It’s your mindset that’s keeping you from finding love. Once you change that, everything will slowly fall into its place.
2. I’m not good enough
When you meet someone you like, you start to idealize them. You see them as the most perfect person in the whole wide world.
There’s nothing wrong with that unless it starts to impact you. You may start to undermine yourself and your self-worth.
Just because you view this person as flawless doesn’t mean you should underestimate yourself. Unfortunately, this happens more than you think and most of the time, you’re not even aware of it.
There’s this constant feeling of dread luring around you. You’re anxious when you go to meet up with your partner because you’re worried about what others may think.
You start to slowly put them first and put yourself in the last place. This is where that feeling of not being good enough comes along which can keep you from finding love once again.
3. It’s (not) my fault
One of the toxic mindsets that are perhaps keeping you from finding love is pointing fingers. There isn’t an easier way to solve an issue than blame someone else for it, right?
You’re used to your relationships being easy and simple. So when you come across an obstacle in your relationship, you don’t know how to deal with it.
You simply believe that a relationship is all rainbows and sunshine and not something you have to work for. Well, sorry to burst your bubble but you need to put effort into it.
It’s easy to blame others but it’s never easy to accept that something’s your fault. On the other hand, you shouldn’t let your partners point fingers at you unnecessarily.
If you always let them believe that you’re the one at fault for everything, then it’s likely to be that way. If you make peace with that, they will always treat you as the reason for all of your problems.
4. I don’t want to open up
What’s the point of meeting someone and involving in a romantic relationship with them? You want to feel that closeness, but how can you achieve it?
It’s not easy spilling your heart out to someone. But once you meet the right person, the words and feelings will start to flow out of your heart.
If you feel as though this isn’t something you want to do and you have a hard time opening up to someone, it might be what’s keeping you from finding love.
People need to be able to express themselves to someone. If you struggle to find the courage to do so, it’s possible your partners won’t take you seriously.
After all, how are you going to find a boyfriend if you can’t tell him how you feel about the two of you?
5. I’m giving up
You realized that finding love is a hard task and it’s difficult keeping up with the pace of the modern dating world.
All of the previous negative experiences led you to believe that you’re destined to end up alone. Perhaps you convinced yourself there’s nothing to hope for anymore.
This is one of those toxic mindsets that can only drag you down and not help you. It’s okay to feel discouraged after you fail to find true love.
You can feel emotionally drained and exhausted from reaching a dead end all the time. But remember that there’s a rainbow after every rain.
However, it’s not okay to just give up and forget about all of the efforts you’ve put in. Get rid of these toxic mindsets because they are the ones keeping you from finding love.