In today’s society, we’re brought up to seek the validation of others. We trust that we’ll be more lovable and more desirable if we’re perfect enough for others.
But other people have their own representation of what they find to be attractive and interesting. You will never be able to meet everyone’s expectations of you.
So unless you become someone who doesn’t need the validation of others, you will never be able to be your truest self. There’s a side to you who’s worthy of everything she desires, but she can’t show her true potential because of these walls you’ve set around yourself.
So it’s time to break those walls down and find all the validation inside yourself. Let’s find your confidence.
1. Accept your perfectly imperfect self
So what if you can pinch your skin between your fingers and see that you have a little bit of a tummy? So what if you look in the mirror and see something that you don’t like?
This might sound groundbreaking to you, but: Everyone does.
We all see faults in imperfections in ourselves, that we wouldn’t have even known are imperfections had society not pointed it out to us. This is an awful thought because it doesn’t really help to know that everyone’s insecure.
That’s exactly why you have to accept your perfectly imperfect self. You’re the most permanent thing in your life and you have to love yourself.
When everyone in your life leaves you, you’re left to love yourself. Don’t be one of the people to betray you and leave you hanging.
Love yourself. Love everything that people tell you isn’t perfect about you – because that’s what makes you so unique.
2. Stop apologizing for things so much
Women apologize way too much. We apologize for simply existing and taking up space. When you seek the validation of others, you tend to apologize simply out of the fear of making someone else feel bad for the smallest things.
Of course, you should be self-aware enough to realize when you’ve made an actual mistake and apologize for it. But that’s only at times when it’s actually your fault.
Most of the time, we internalize the anger of others, when we really shouldn’t. They’re angry or nervous for some reason that’s not even connected to us, but they end up taking it out on us.
So you’re the one to apologize in the end when you actually shouldn’t.
Those people aren’t going to learn anything if you’re the one to apologize for their bad temper. You have to hold them accountable.
It’s not your fault! It can’t always be your fault and you can’t always be the one to take the aftermath.
If you continue to apologize, they’ll just think that this is how things should be. And it’s not.
3. Realize that you don’t need to explain yourself to others
Your life belongs to you. No one else.
You don’t have to explain every single one of your actions to the people around you simply because they think that they deserve to know your reasons. They don’t. It’s your life and you make your own decisions.
When you explain yourself to other people around you, it only means that you’re asking for their approval. You’re asking them to tell you that you’re doing great.
The issue with that is that most people won’t really support you when you’re doing better in life than they are. They will even bring you down.
You know what you want to do in your life. And you know your dreams are more than achievable.
You know that your emotions are extremely valid. There’s no reason for you to explain why you do the things you do, or why you’re feeling a certain way.
4. Do things that boost your confidence
What are some things that boost your confidence? The one thing every strong woman out there has is her clear sense of self and the confidence that she exudes.
You need to do the things that boost your confidence. Wear the things that you feel like yourself! Wear that makeup that makes you feel beautiful and walk with your head held high. There’s no reason not to!
What are some other things that make you feel confident? When you take a long bath so you smell and feel nice? When you read books on various topics to feel like you know a lot about these things?
Whatever it is, do it! Connect with yourself and make sure to spend time on these things. You can’t expect yourself to not need the validation of others when you’re so insecure.
5. Don’t be mean to yourself
How do you talk to yourself? Aren’t you your own worst critic? Would you ever talk like that to the person you love?
Of course you wouldn’t! You would make them feel absolutely awful.
So why do you talk like that to yourself? Why do you treat yourself so poorly?
You need to treat yourself the way you would treat a loved one! The next time you hear your own brain make up false stories about you, just simply shut it down.
You shouldn’t listen to someone who obviously doesn’t have your best interest in mind. Unfortunately, in this situation, it’s yourself.
Don’t listen to that mean voice in your head. You have to be more gentle with yourself because you really deserve compassion. It’s going to be so much more beautiful and impactful when you’re able to give it to yourself.
Stop being mean to yourself. You wouldn’t let anyone else talk to you like that, so why do you talk to yourself that way?
When you get your own validation, that’s when you’ll stop needing it from others.