If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a manipulator then you know how much power they can have over you. You’re aware of the amount of control they can gain over your life.
And even though your gut feeling is telling you that something’s wrong, you may still decide to stay and give love a chance. But as time goes by, you realize that there’s no point in fighting for someone who’s not worth your time, love, or energy.
You realize that a manipulator never changes, no matter how much effort you put into the relationship. However, this revelation doesn’t come overnight.
It takes some time to figure out that the game a manipulator plays is dirty and you can’t do anything about it. The best thing you can do is leave him and let him fight against himself.
Even though dating a manipulator isn’t a dream come true, there are still some things you’ll realize once your relationship ends. Once you free yourself from his shackles, you’ll see these things clearly.
1. You’ll learn to settle for things you used to despise
Before falling for a manipulator, you were probably a tough nut to crack. You appreciated your time and energy and you were well aware of your value.
You probably never fought for people who didn’t deserve your attention and you had your standards up high. But a relationship with a manipulator changes your viewpoint completely.
It turns you into a person who ignores her boundaries, beliefs, and wishes. Your manipulative boyfriend will make you settle for things you never even imagined you could.
He’ll make you put him first and ignore your own needs. And if you don’t do that, he’ll play his dirty little games with you until you finally break and do as he wants.
He’ll make you believe that he’s the best man you could get and if you lose him, you’ll end up all alone for the rest of your life.
He’ll feed you on crumbs on love and then inflict a blame game on you with one intention only – to get things his way.
And once he succeeds at it, you’ll do whatever he wants because he’ll have convinced you that it’s the right thing to do.
2. You’ll let your manipulative partner control your life
A manipulator knows what he wants and he knows very well what he’s supposed to do in order to get it. So, from the very beginning of your relationship, he’ll make sure to show you that he’ll be the one in control.
He’ll be the one in charge of your life, meaning that he’ll choose whom you hang out with and with whom you share your secrets.
He’ll keep convincing you that your family and friends are a bad influence and you’ll probably stop seeing them.
The way he’ll say it, he’ll be the only person in your life who truly loves you. Everyone else will seem like they’re trying to get something out of you.
By this point, you’ll actually believe his words. He’ll play the game so well that everything he says will seem true.
He’ll turn every scenario to his advantage and you’ll fall for his sweet words. It’s only after you break up with your manipulative partner that you’ll realize how wrong you were.
You’ll realize that all of the things he said to you were only his way of getting whatever he wanted. He succeeded at controlling you because that was his primary goal – one he had to fulfill in order to call himself the winner.
3. You may start to manipulate others
When you’re in a toxic environment for too long, you start to act the same way as the people around you. In this case, you may pick up your manipulative partner’s personality traits.
If you’re used to your partner putting you down, you may end up doing the same thing to your friends or family. If you’re used to being controlled, you may start controlling everyone around you.
At first, you won’t actually realize what you’re doing. Your actions will seem perfectly reasonable to you because you’re used to being treated that way.
But once you’re out of the relationship, you’ll actually realize that you’ve been doing all of the things your manipulative partner did to you.
You’ve been treating people the same way you’ve been treated. And that’s when it’ll hit you that you’ve made a huge mistake.
4. You’ll realize that it’s okay to leave a relationship that makes you unhappy
Once you’re out of the relationship, you’ll realize that there’s nothing wrong with leaving a partner who doesn’t make you happy.
You shouldn’t stick with him and wait for him to change just because you love him. This is especially so if it becomes obvious that the only reason why he’s with you is so he can feed his ego.
You shouldn’t try harder. You shouldn’t give your best efforts to change things because you can’t make him act differently unless he wants to.
It’s more than obvious that a manipulative partner is happy with the state of their relationship. As long as they’re satisfied, they won’t try to change anything.
5. You’ll realize how strong of a person you are
Once you realize that your partner is a manipulator, you’ll start to think of yourself as a victim. You’ll feel bad about yourself and you’ll put yourself down for falling for him.
But then, you’ll realize that you’re actually stronger than you think. You’ll realize that you successfully freed yourself from the hands that were holding on to you so tightly.
You ran away from someone who wanted to destroy you, even though he tried to convince you that you were too weak to do so. But you proved him wrong and you saved yourself, all alone and with no one’s help.
That’s when you’ll figure out that you’re a strong person who can do whatever she wants. You can go through life with your head held high, even when everyone else is against you.
You have proved to people that you’re a warrior in the shape of a woman and that’s what makes you unique.