People always talk about those who were left, but what about those who had to leave, no matter how badly it hurt?
What about when you realize that you’re not compatible with your loved one anymore? When you know that staying together is just a waste of time?
You still care deeply about them, but when you look at them, you know that it’s over.
Maybe you have even started wondering why the two of you even got involved to begin with.
You know that you have to leave them, but it’s so hard because you still love them.
Maybe you try to make yourself believe that you don’t, but the feelings are still there.
Even though they are still inside your heart, you know that you have to break theirs.
They aren’t the right person for you, and you are well aware of it, but it hurts so much.
It seems impossible to walk away from them even when you know that they’re bad for you.
I know how you feel. Not a lot of things are as complicated or as difficult as being forced to leave someone you care about.
How can you give up on a person you still love? You don’t really know the answer but you know that you have to do it.
Doing the right thing is never easy, especially when it means having to hurt someone’s feelings.
Still, you shouldn’t hesitate just because it’s going to hurt both of you. When it’s time to leave, postponing it or staying together could hurt much more than ending things right away.
When something doesn’t make you happy anymore, you have to let go of them in order to find happiness again.
The sooner you leave, the better, and I do mean for both of you.
People sometimes stay together just because it’s hard to end things, and as a result, they stay miserable.
Instead of getting an opportunity for a fresh start, they stick to what they’re used to, no matter how bad it is.
You need to break up because you owe it to both yourself and the person you care about.
Love isn’t enough to make a relationship work. You may care deeply for each other, but if you’re not right for each other, there’s no point in staying together.
Staying with them when you want to break up isn’t fair to you or to them. Find the courage to do it, and let these things make it easier for you:
1. Break up with them in person
Breaking up by sending a message or calling them may seem a lot easier, but you should never do it.
It’s not only the worst thing to do to someone because it’ll hurt them that you broke up via phone; the worst part is actually that it doesn’t make the breakup real, which means that to them, it’s not valid.
You need to see them in person and confront the feelings you have.
Look your partner in the eye and tell them honestly what you think about the relationship.
All this will make you feel the burden that comes with making such a decision.
You might think that it’s easier to avoid that, but it’s actually important that you feel it.
It will help you accept the breakup and finally move on.
2. Don’t change your mind
It is especially hard to break up with someone who you don’t think will handle it well.
Still, you can’t change your mind just because it’s difficult to do.
Stick to the decision you’ve made, no matter what happens.
Don’t give in to the temptation of giving your relationship a second chance when you know that it won’t change anything.
If you do, you’ll end up running in circles and will remain miserable in an unhappy relationship.
Both of you will experience a lot of unpleasant emotions during the breakup but you have to remember that it’s a normal part of breaking up.
3. Always remember the reason for the breakup
Remind yourself of the reason for the breakup. Do it during, as well as afterward when you feel bad about breaking up with them.
Maybe they didn’t treat you right or you felt taken for granted. Perhaps you just couldn’t get along anymore.
Think about the reason and remind yourself that it wouldn’t have gone away if you’d stayed.
How would you be feeling if you had stayed in that relationship? Most likely, you would be miserable.
You would have prevented yourself from finding the love and happiness that you deserve.
4. Don’t contact them anymore
Certain rules need to be established when you break up with someone and the most important one is the no contact rule.
Right after the breakup, it isn’t healthy to constantly keep communicating.
Both of you need some alone time and it will be easier if you stay apart and don’t contact each other.
Try to think about something else when you’re thinking about texting your ex. Talk to someone else about it, take a walk, or play with your pet.
Whatever you do, just don’t contact them, because it would make things even more confusing and complicated.
If you reach out to them after the breakup, you’re basically telling them that you want to get back together.
No matter what you say exactly, they will be under that impression and it’ll make things worse.
5. Focus on yourself
There’s no such thing as a breakup that is easy to handle. It’s always hard, and it leaves at least one person grieving.
During that grief period, we neglect to take care of ourselves. After a breakup, you need to put yourself first and focus on yourself.
You need to keep yourself distracted from thinking about the breakup, as it will make it easier to handle the pain.
Enjoy a warm bath, drink a glass of fine wine, listen to relaxing music, and find an activity you will enjoy.
The way you’re feeling now is only temporary. You will feel great again and you’ll be grateful to yourself for making a tough decision.
It’ll happen sooner than you might think.