Skip to Content

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

Are you hoping to learn more about dating a broken man?

Dating a man with a broken heart isn’t easy, and you need to be aware of the past that caused him to become this way.

If you’re interested in having a relationship with a broken-hearted guy, you’ll want to learn how to heal a broken man and help him deal with the ghosts from his past.

When a man has had his heart broken or has been emotionally damaged, we call it the broken man syndrome.

Of course, the first thought that comes to mind is that some woman broke his heart and caused his broken man syndrome.

However, that doesn’t have to be the case.

The truth is, anyone could have damaged him, but if one thing’s for sure, it’s that he has a trauma from his past that he can’t heal from.

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

At least not without your help.

By learning how to date a broken man, you’ll simultaneously learn how to heal a broken man, but don’t expect him to get better overnight.

Dating a broken man requires you to be patient and understand that a broken-hearted guy isn’t ready to settle down and discuss marriage and children.

One of the first things I told you is that dating a man with a broken heart isn’t easy, so you need to learn how to date such a man.

How will you achieve that? Well, there are a few things you need to know before dating a broken man that will help you help him if you’re still willing to go through with it.

A broken man needs you to understand him, and I’m going to help you with that.

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

Before you discover all the things you need to know before dating a broken man, you should learn more about who he is.

There are some personality traits of broken people that you need to be aware of, which will help you figure out whether the man you’re interested in really is broken.

Is the man you’re interested in emotionally damaged? Then there are some things you need to know, but let’s first check if you are dating a broken man.

You will need to answer a few questions so we can figure it out.

1. Does he lack confidence?

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

When you’re dating a man with a broken heart, you’ll notice that he isn’t confident.

The reason for this is that he finds it hard to believe in himself since he has been so broken for so long.

This lack of confidence might even cause him to doubt that you are really interested in him.

2. Does he push you away?

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

The thing about people who have been hurt a lot before is that they often assume that the person they’re interested in is going to hurt them someday as well.

A fear of getting hurt all over again is exactly the reason why they tend to self-sabotage all the relationships they start to build.

To learn how to heal a broken man, you will need to find a way to convince him that you’re not like those people who hurt him so much in the past.

3. Does he refuse to open up to you?

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

People who have been hurt a lot in the past don’t really realize they’re doing this, but they constantly try to protect themselves.

A broken-hearted guy won’t be able to trust you, so he won’t open up to you and will avoid sharing personal details with you.

To learn how to date a broken man, you need to learn to have patience, because it will take time for him to fully trust you so that he can finally open up.

4. Does he get insulted easily?

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

Broken man syndrome is often shown by being sensitive. Even when you make a joke, or say anything that’s negative regarding him, it will upset him.

You might think that something is funny, but it could seriously insult him, especially if that something is about him or his past…

Even if you’re talking in general about relationship problems, it could be a trigger for him.

5. Is he extremely reserved and quiet?

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

Dating a man with a broken heart will make you see how reserved and quiet he can be.

He is simply dealing with a lot of feelings, which creates internal noise, so he avoids going to loud places, and even speaking a lot.

What you also need to know is that if you say something that he isn’t okay with, he will still stay quiet instead of confronting you about it, because, as I said before, he lacks confidence.

Now that you know if the man you’re interested in is emotionally damaged, it’s time to learn everything you need to know before dating a broken man.

1. It’s not easy

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

I already told you that dating a broken man isn’t easy, but you need to be completely aware of how hard it can be for you.

You will have to work hard, so it can be quite exhausting to be with a man who is emotionally damaged, and it requires perseverance.

I mentioned how sensitive a broken man can be, so the woman who’s dating him has to be careful about the things she says so that she doesn’t upset him or even trigger his past trauma.

You also learned that he won’t open up easily, so gaining his trust won’t be an easy task, and you’ll have to work on it.

He won’t be ready to make an effort because he fears being vulnerable and rejected, so you’ll have to be the one who makes most of the effort.

You will constantly need to reassure him that you’re there for him and don’t want to leave him.

The most challenging task will be dealing with the mental health issues he could have due to all the emotional damage he has, so you may have to deal with his depression or anxiety.

All this could seem like too much for you, but it’s definitely worth it because there’s no greater feeling than helping someone you love heal and grow.

However, the most important thing is that if you want to get into a relationship with a broken man, you need to be completely sure about it.

Don’t start it if you aren’t sure you won’t give up on him, because leaving him after a while could make his emotional state even worse than it was before he met you.

2. He could try to control you

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

This doesn’t apply to all broken men, but some of them try to control the woman they’re with because they can’t trust them due to bad past experiences.

If the reason he’s emotionally damaged is that a woman he dated cheated on him, he will surely be controlling.

His need to control you is because he wants to be sure you won’t hurt him like the woman in his past did.

He will want to know all about your whereabouts, who you’re with, and why you’re with them and not him.

Of course, you need to understand that it’s the pain he’s been through that causes him to act this way, but it doesn’t mean you should let him control you.

Don’t let his emotional damage pass on to you by caving in to his controlling behavior.

You need to let him know when you don’t feel comfortable with the way he treats you.

What you can do about it is try to assure him that you would never cheat because you’re faithful to him.

If that doesn’t work, you need to let him know that you’ll leave if his controlling behavior continues because you can’t be in a relationship like that.

Do it gently by explaining to him why you think he acts that way, and he might even finally open up to you.

3. You have only one chance with him

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

Broken people are extremely protective of themselves, even if they aren’t aware of it and what that means is that you won’t get a second chance with him if you mess things up.

As soon as he sees any red flags, he will walk away and won’t ever come back. 

What damaged him in the first place will determine what he considers to be red flags.

For instance, if his ex-girlfriends were unfaithful to him, as soon as he finds out you have told him even the smallest lie, he will walk away.

You need to respect this, because messing up and getting a second chance isn’t an option, and all it takes is for you to not mess up in the first place.

That’s not too much to ask for in any relationship, so simply don’t make a mistake that could cost you your chance for love.

4. He won’t be romantic right away

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

Maybe you’re used to the people you date acting romantically, but this man is so scared of getting hurt that he won’t be able to act that way right away.

He’ll be nervous when it comes to showing you affection, and being open and romantic, and it’s all because he doesn’t want to do all that and have you leave him.

However, if you stay with him and manage to earn his trust, he might turn out to be even more romantic than anyone you ever dated before him.

Once he finally opens up to you, he will show you his romantic side because he will be grateful that you stayed with him.

Be the first one to make romantic moves, and it will help him get there himself.

5. He’ll probably try to sabotage your relationship

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

Dating a broken man requires you to know that he’ll probably try to sabotage your relationship, whether he does so intentionally or subconsciously.

Even if he wants to have a relationship with you, he will try to ruin it completely.

The reason behind most things he does is the need to protect himself from getting hurt again, as is the case with sabotaging the relationship.

It’s sad but the more he falls in love with you, the more he will have doubts about going forward in the relationship. 

Why is this so?

Well, once he realizes that he has fallen in love with you, he’ll also realize that he’s therefore giving you the power to cause him pain and once he starts thinking about that, his head will get filled with doubts about the relationship, so he’ll freak out and start distancing himself from you.

He could try to sabotage the relationship at any point, so you need to be aware of that and be prepared for it.

Don’t worry about it too much, though, because, as long as you stick together through this period, he will start settling down.

He will open up to you eventually, and then, when he has a need to sabotage your relationship once again, he’ll be able to tell you about it.

You’ll be able to start talking about it with him instead of having to watch him run away.

6. He won’t invite you to be a part of his life right away

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

When you first start dating a broken man, he’ll keep his life private.

Maybe you’re used to men who are thrilled to invite you to their place, introduce you to their friends, and generally get you involved in their life.

A broken man, on the other hand, moves much more slowly.

He doesn’t want to invite you to be a part of his life as long as he thinks you will eventually leave it.

Therefore, it could take time before he does any of these things.

Most of the time, broken men have their own home, and their home is where they feel safe and comfortable.

A broken man’s place is his own space for him only.

These are the facts about him that you need to respect because all he’s trying to do is protect himself.

I know that you don’t plan on making his space less safe for him, but he can’t be sure of that because other people have done that in his past.

Don’t pressure him to invite you to his place and into his life because you’ll only scare him, and he’ll become even more introverted.

The same goes for your private life. Until he knows for sure that the relationship is going somewhere, he won’t want to be a part of your life either.

After some time, once he falls in love with you and feels ready to try to trust you, you’ll get invited into his life as an important part of it.

7. He won’t tell you how he became broken

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

You’ll want to find out all about the reasons behind him becoming broken, but you must be aware that he probably won’t tell you about them.

I know you just want to fully understand him and the things that affected him that much, so you want to hear about what happened in his past… but you won’t get to find out that for a while, if ever.

Most of the time, people who have had bad things happen to them don’t like talking about it because it only brings up their trauma that they want to work through.

Once you’ve been in a relationship for quite some time, and he finally opens up to you, he might tell you all the details of the trauma that happened to him.

He will need a lot of courage to do that, so if he ever does, you have to be as understanding as you can be.

Don’t ever use the things he tells you against him. Simply try to understand what he’s been through, comfort him, and show him your love.

Even if he tells you something about what happened to him, you’ll never know everything about it, since you weren’t there when it happened, and you’re not inside his head.

Maybe the thing that happened to him wouldn’t affect you as much, but you’ll never know how it really felt from his perspective.

All you can do is learn how to heal a broken man by showing him love.

8. He isn’t confident

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

A person whose heart has been broken in an awful way and whose soul has been deeply hurt by those they trusted is not as confident as others.

If he has been in an abusive relationship, whether it’s with a girlfriend or someone else, his confidence will surely be very low.

The victims in abusive relationships are constantly criticized and put down.

When that continues for a long time, those victims start believing that there is something seriously wrong with them and that they don’t deserve love because of it.

Those people will have low self-esteem and low self-confidence.

Even if he wasn’t in an abusive relationship, being cheated on or going through a really bad break-up could have caused his low self-confidence.

He will be confused when he sees how interested you are in him because he will find it hard to believe.

You’ll need to reassure him of how much you like him and answer the question of why.

All you can do to help him is try to make him see himself the way you see him – as an amazing person worthy of love.

Once you help him have more confidence, you’ll see how amazing the feeling of seeing him heal really is.

9. You need to help him for the right reason

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

It’s a little strange, but many women actually find broken men to be very attractive, and it could be because we always want to help someone and make everything better.

However, consciously choosing to be with a broken man just because you want to fix him and make everything better is the wrong reason to date him.

We romanticize broken men, and we often date them for the wrong reason.

You need to help him for the right reason, and the only reason that’s the right one is your love for him. 

Don’t try to help him because you want to have a project you can work on or because you think fixing a broken man is exciting.

10. You can help him become unbreakable

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

As long as you try to help because you love him, not because he’s broken, you can achieve that goal, and he can heal with the help of your love for him.

You can actually be the reason why he will finally become unbreakable because your love and care can help him recover from what happened to him in the past.

There are many ways you can help him, but you have to keep in mind that it will take a lot of time for him to let you show him love and take care of him.

The first thing you need to do is be there for him and make him realize that, and that alone will make a huge difference.

Listen to this man and respect the things he tells you. Let him open up to you when he’s ready and when he knows that it will help him to do so.

Show him how much better he made your life, and let him know that you want to do the same for him with your care and love.

Maybe you can suggest that he seeks professional help if you think that it could help him, depending on what caused his emotional damage, and show him that you’ll be there for him by going with him if he decides to do that.

However, don’t pressure him to do it, and bring it up only if you think he would be okay with it because he might not be ready for such a huge step.

You can help him by showing him care and love, and it will be the best feeling in the world once you see how much he has grown because of it.

Loving a broken man is an important topic, so we have another article that you should read to better understand what it means.

10 Things To Know Before Dating A Broken Man

7 Signs Of Being In A Monotonous Relationship
← Previous
You'll Find Your Way If You're Meant To Be Together
Next →
shares