While some people fall in love very easily, others don’t have that kind of luck. So, if you’re struggling to find love, then you can take comfort in the fact that you’re not the only one.
Perhaps people have told you that you need to relax and focus on other things and love will come naturally to you. And while that may be true, there are other possible explanations as to why love feels so hard.
Many dating experts will agree that love is something that you should actively pursue. You can’t just sit back, be passive, and wait for the right partner to bump into you. And even though finding someone to date is not as hard as it used to be due to many dating apps, finding someone who suits your criteria certainly is.
However, you need to be careful to not settle for anything less than you deserve. Don’t be in a relationship just because you’re afraid of being single, as that’s the worst mistake you can make. Eventually, the relationship you have with that person won’t bring you any joy and you won’t feel satisfied at all.
The only way you’ll find real love is if you look for someone to be in a quality relationship with you. So, if you’ve been dating for a while now and you still don’t consider anyone as your potential partner, then here are a few reasons why you’re struggling to find love.
1. Your emotional baggage is holding you back
If you’ve recently had a tough break-up and you haven’t given yourself enough time to heal properly, then that may be the reason why you’re unable to open up to someone new.
Perhaps your ex broke your heart into a million pieces and you’re having a tough time putting yourself out there at all. That emotional baggage is holding you back from finding true love.
Many people are afraid to open themselves up to others because they know what it means to be left by someone.
Their heart has been broken and they’re scared that it may happen again, which prevents them from creating a deep and emotional connection with another person.
I understand that being vulnerable may scare you and that could be the reason why you’re struggling to find love.
This is especially true if your ex-partner abused you in any way. In that case, it’ll be even more difficult for you to get out there and meet someone new because of the trauma you had to go through in your previous relationship.
2. You’re choosing the wrong kind of people to date
Perhaps you’re going on a ton of dates but none of those men are even close to being your potential boyfriend.
There’s a possibility that it’s a string of bad luck but it could be that you’re choosing the wrong kind of people to date. Maybe you need to take a step back and re-evaluate what you want or don’t want from a guy.
Sometimes we sabotage ourselves because we’re simply not ready for a romantic relationship with anyone.
In that case, you have to recognize what it is that attracts you to those types of people so you can see it and not repeat the same mistake twice.
You can achieve that with a lot of self-work and self-awareness but don’t forget to value yourself enough. Only then will you be able to find a man who matches your personality and who accepts you the way you are.
3. You’re afraid of committing
A fear of commitment isn’t something that should be applied entirely to men because women can be afraid of that too. Making it official and saying that you’re dating someone exclusively can terrify some people.
On the other hand, not knowing where you stand with someone is also scary. Whatever the case may be, committing to a person means that you’re opening your heart up to them.
Furthermore, there’s a possibility you may end up being hurt by them, so you avoid commitment altogether and decide to be alone. The only way you’ll reach freedom is to recognize that fear and embrace it.
Say it out loud and be brave to take a chance. Don’t sit around and wait for a man to come to you. Grab the bull by the horns and try to solve the problem without hesitation.
If you’re dating a man and you’re afraid of fully committing to him, then be honest and tell him that. Just say that he’s important to you and you want to be with him but that you need his help to conquer this awful feeling.
4. Being in a relationship isn’t your priority right now
It’s possible that you feel pressured by your friends or family members to be with one person even though you have other priorities right now.
Maybe you’re focused on your career or you’ve recently moved somewhere and being in a romantic relationship isn’t something you’re thinking of at this moment.
If this applies to you, then let me tell you something you already know – you’re in control of your life. You make the decisions that bring you happiness and if you think that going on a dating spree is something you want, then just go.
You never have to ask for anyone’s permission to date multiple guys. Go out there, enjoy your life, and focus on yourself. The only relationship you need to nurture at all times is the one you have with yourself.
5. You’re not ready to settle down
The truth is that a relationship requires a lot of time and effort from both people involved.
Perhaps you like the idea of falling in love with someone but you aren’t necessarily willing to put in the effort or maybe you’re afraid of commitment and every time things get serious, you back off.
This can certainly be a passing phase or you may just want to play the field. Whatever the reason may be, you’re not ready to settle down.
The thought of discussing your future plans with another person scares you and that could be the reason why you’re struggling to find love.