The number one reason men pull away after things start to get real is that they’re afraid to commit to a woman. They think they’ll lose their freedom once they enter a romantic relationship, and having that much space and time is important to them.
They don’t want to have to choose between spending time with their friends and family and their girlfriend. And we all know that men are bad at multitasking.
So, that’s why many of them don’t fall in love so easily and rather back off if they see you’re interested in them.
Dating a commitment-phobe is awful and, frankly, exhausting. You never know where you stand with a guy like that and it can end up being very painful and devastating in the long run.
But I see many women lately who refuse to accept the reality of the situation and acknowledge that their man isn’t ready to commit to their relationship.
Instead of backing off and giving them some room to breathe, these women try to force the guy to commit and become a man he clearly isn’t.
That’s why in this article I’m going to list a couple of reasons why forcing a man to commit isn’t the right move and will certainly push him away from you.
1. Your desire is not to have a man who doesn’t want you back
The most obvious reason why forcing a man to commit to you isn’t the right move is because you look like you’re desperate and needy. And let’s be honest, no one wants a partner like that.
It can be hard to accept the truth, but it’s better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie. This man doesn’t want you as much as you want him. Your feelings aren’t reciprocated and there’s nothing you can do about it.
You can’t force him to make a move on you since there are two different perceptions of your relationship. You’re the one who loves more – he means a lot more to you than you do to him.
Do you really want to settle for a one-sided relationship? Are you really ready to give everything you’ve got and get nothing in return?
Could you find your happiness beside a guy, knowing that he isn’t with you willingly but that you forced him to commit to you?
Could you stoop so low as to get the guy by manipulating and controlling him?
2. He doesn’t feel ready
Another possible explanation for a man refusing to commit to you is that he’s simply not ready to do it. You’re a grown woman who’s had her heart broken a couple of times, so you know what it means when someone doesn’t respect you or your wishes.
So, you shouldn’t do the same to him. Be thankful that he was honest with you and show him respect for that.
He has his own personal boundaries and limits, and it’s unacceptable for you to push him over the edge.
I’m not saying that you can’t wait for him to change and come to his senses, but you can’t expect him to give you a positive answer if he’s not emotionally ready to become the man you need him to be.
Don’t be heartbroken just because he can’t be in a romantic relationship with you. Cherish the time you’ve spent together and who knows, if it’s meant to be, then God will find a way to reunite you two back.
So, you have only two options. You can either accept the reality and live with it, or leave now before you get even more invested.
3. There are plenty of fish in the sea
Another reason why forcing a man to commit isn’t the right move is that there are many other men around who’d probably give everything to have a shot with you.
It’s just that you can’t see it because you’re so blinded by the desire to have this man only for yourself.
I’m not suggesting that you jump from one relationship to another, but if the guy you’re currently seeing doesn’t meet your emotional needs and isn’t ready to commit, then you should move on to someone who’s ready to give you the world.
There’s no point in wasting your time or energy trying to change someone who doesn’t see you as their potential partner.
You can find a man whose more compatible with you, but in order to do that, you have to be brave and take a leap of faith.
4. You can’t force someone to love you
The bitter truth is that you can’t make someone love you.
Love is a delicate thing that can’t be forced, no matter how hard you try.
You can do your best to show him that you’ll be the best girlfriend ever, the most passionate lover this guy’s ever had, but if his emotions toward you aren’t genuine, then everything is in vain.
It could be that he likes you as a friend and nothing else, and he even might care for you deeply. But he doesn’t consider you worthy of him losing his freedom and completely throwing away the single life.
This has nothing to do with your own worth and it doesn’t mean that every guy you meet will feel the same way about you.
But there’s a possibility that his guy doesn’t care for you enough to commit to you. And trying to change his mind won’t get you anywhere.
5. It’ll only be counterproductive
The thing about men and human beings, in general, is that the more you chase someone, the more the other person will try to escape.
To be honest, this is exactly what’s happening in your case as you’re forcing him to commit to you.
The more you’re trying to tie him down, the more he feels pressured by you and tries to set himself free from what he sees as emotional shackles.
This is definitely not the right move because your actions will only have a countereffect on him. By doing this, he’ll probably think that you’re a clingy woman who can’t take no for an answer.
As a result, he’ll put all of his efforts into trying to liberate himself from any obligation.
Instead of making time to spend with you, he’ll use any excuse as to why he can’t make it so that he isn’t around you.
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