While it is easy to say the words, “I love you,” the heaviness that it bears and what comes with it can be hard to describe.
When you become entangled in the strong feelings that you have toward another person, it is easy to get caught up.
Loving someone is not just saying that, but it needs to be backed up by certain actions and types of behavior that are more important than the love itself.
You need to keep that in mind if you mean to move forward with your partner, as it is essential.
What constitutes a relationship and what is essential, you might ask? Well, the love between a couple is not enough to have a healthy relationship.
I’m not saying that love should not exist, but some aspects of a relationship are equally important.
When you ask an older couple what the thing is that kept them together for so long, few of them will tell you that it is love.
Without certain other things, problems will start to arise whether you like it or not.
Well, I’m going to list some of them, which I classify as ‘the essentials’, because without them, a simple, “I love you,” would not suffice.
A couple needs to have trust in each other.
Jealousy is a normal thing in reasonable quantities and in certain situations and when you have trust in your partner, it won’t escalate into big fights and won’t cause major problems.
You ask yourself what makes others stick together for so long.
Well, the answer is trust. In a fight, trust wins every time and it will keep your relationship peaceful.
It doesn’t matter how much you love your partner, if you don’t trust him, your relationship will be unhealthy.
You will develop jealousy issues and you will not be able to open up to him. Trust means that you have your partner’s back, and he has yours.
With trust, life is so much easier to handle, and you have one less thing to worry about.
You need to trust your partner with intimate information and trust him when you are vulnerable. Without it, you won’t succeed.
How we value ourself will be reflected in how others value us. If you don’t like yourself, how do you even expect someone else to? It’s as simple as that.
Don’t be a pain in the neck for your partner, constantly needing affirmation of something.
Eventually, you will be hurt because people will see you as weak and they might treat you badly because of it.
People sometimes stick together in a relationship just because they want to be in one. This might otherwise be classified as a toxic relationship.
In these circumstances, because we don’t love ourself, we are in constant need of the assurance that we are good and that he loves us.
You need to see how beautiful and strong you are. Find those positive qualities and embrace your flaws.
You are unique. You have qualities that not every other human possesses.
Listening to your partner (and by that, I mean really listening, not just looking at him) is a great way to show your respect toward him.
In a healthy relationship, a partner’s wishes and needs should be respected no matter what.
Just because you don’t agree with some things he says or do, it doesn’t mean that you are incompatible.
You don’t need to change your partner in order for your relationship to work out.
Respecting your partner means respecting his boundaries. You don’t need to ask your partner for his social media passwords.
You need to respect his privacy and trust him that he won’t do you any harm.
A healthy relationship requires some space and some filters. Choose your words carefully as they can cause as much harm as they can bring happiness.
Don’t try to dominate or manipulate him to do what you want.
He should be free to express his opinions and free to be himself. Don’t overreact and don’t be disrespectful.
When I say communication, I don’t mean the everyday chatter you engage in.
There are other aspects of communication that are more important and which can cause great damage to your relationship if they are not handled properly.
Communication is the key. And it is actually.
It is important that you talk about what you expect and what you want, but it is more important how you talk about it.
How the discussion will go depends on your tone and how you approach it.
It doesn’t need to be tough to talk if you have a problem.
Happiness, anger, grief, emotions, all those things need to be talked about openly and without fear.
Having poor communication with your partner can be a killer in a relationship.
Not being able to talk about your thoughts and dreams can lead to regret and will eventually end the relationship.
5. Emotional support
Every relationship has its ups and downs. Just like emotions, they can vary from sadness to happiness.
That is not a problem if you have a partner who is ready to give you the support you need.
Being there for you in times of need and holding your hand, through it all.
Every healthy relationship must have this. If you have some happy news, your partner should be the first person whom you want to call and share it with.
And when you are sad or depressed, your partner must be the one who holds your hand and tells you that everything will be okay.
A couple who is there for each other through thick and thin and deal with whatever life throws at them will succeed.
They create a safe environment so that if one of them feels vulnerable, the other picks them up and provides that much needed emotional support.
What makes a relationship unhealthy?
Well, any type of control and abusive behavior is considered a red flag.
If you feel that your partner doesn’t provide comfort and security, then you should probably re-evaluate your relationship.
Everyone deserves to be in a healthy relationship, and there should not be any excuses for any kind of abusive behavior.
You cannot change your partner and trust me, that is the last thing you should do.
Think about it, re-evaluate and then make a move, because you deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship.