Experiencing heartbreak is the worst feeling ever and at first, you can’t even think about how to rebuild yourself.
It doesn’t matter who broke up with whom, whether it was you who ended it or him.
While it might be a relief if you were in a toxic relationship, there is rarely a scenario in which both people will be happy about a breakup.
If you experienced an intense heartbreak, the chances are that your self-worth may suffer as well.
You might feel like you are worthless. You may think of yourself as a big failure.
Now that all those sweet messages, flowers, and dinner dates are gone, you feel alone and empty.
You just keep having bad dreams about your breakup and hope that tomorrow, everything will go back to normal.
You may even think that your situation is temporary and that you will eventually get back with your ex, even if he hurt you.
I know that right now, you’re praying hard that he’ll come back and that things will be just fine.
However, the truth is that you need to go through the healing process to rebuild yourself, and unfortunately, things are going to be difficult for a while.
You have to rebuild yourself from the ground up in order to feel happiness and joy again.
I know that your thoughts are clouded right now and you can’t think straight, but try to focus on the things that you can do to feel better and heal properly.
The process and the time it takes to heal actually depends on the individual. It depends on how much you invested yourself in the relationship, and how much that person meant to you.
However, it is always important to:
1. Give yourself enough time to grieve
Most people would describe heartbreak as one of the worst feelings that you can ever experience.
If you have never experienced it, the chances are you have heard this from someone you know.
It’s not an exaggeration at all, because when you think about it, you invested so much effort and love into one person, and for it to all end can be devastating.
You might be confused and in denial at the moment, but you have to give yourself time to grieve.
It is okay to cry and feel the pain at the moment. You are hurt and crying is just a natural body reaction to the things you feel right now.
Surround yourself with people who understand your pain while you rebuild yourself.
You don’t have to repress your feelings because they will come back and haunt you if you don’t grieve now.
Pour your heart out to the people you trust and don’t rush things.
2. It is always important to not overthink too much
As we give ourself time to grieve, we tend to overthink certain things. We get stuck in thoughts that are irrational and generalized.
When we are alone and no one can stop us from thinking about it, we overanalyze certain situations and replay them over and over again.
We think about how we could have perhaps changed the way things happened.
It is imperative to avoid such thoughts and to achieve that, you can distract yourself by doing the things you love to do.
You can always ask your family and friends to go out for a coffee, or you can invite them over for dinner, or talk to them on the phone if you’re feeling lonely.
It’s a difficult task to complete, but it’s not impossible. With the right mindset and with the right people, you can overcome this obstacle.
3. Learn how to forgive yourself
Everyone has done something that caused pain in their relationship.
But rarely does anyone forgive themselves for what they did to a person they loved.
You might feel like your relationship was a colossal failure because of everything that went wrong.
Everyone gets their share of the blame for the ending of a relationship. There’s plenty of pain and heartache that each of you caused.
The point is to forgive yourself for those mistakes that you made and also to forgive your ex for the pain they caused you.
You don’t have to carry this burden of guilt for the rest of your life.
It will only weigh on your self-worth and you won’t be able to carry on like that for too long.
4. Try to acknowledge all the good things in yourself
Start acknowledging your positive qualities because they’ve been discounted and ignored for a long time.
I know it may seem odd, but every time you wake up in the morning, you can write down all the positive qualities you possess.
Trust me, I tried it and it actually worked, even though I found it quite strange at first.
Although it might seem weird, you’ll see that given time, your mindset and thought process will change.
Don’t skip any qualities that you can think of, whether they’re small or big. Eventually, the right person will see those beautiful characteristics of yours.
5. Try to be a better person
I know it is very frustrating when you let your anger control your actions. You have this burning desire for revenge and justice.
But when you think about it, will it bring you any joy if you do that? Will things change afterward? No, they won’t.
Everyone goes through this stage at some point and eventually realizes it’s just a waste of time and energy.
Stop stalking him on social media and stay cool, calm, collected, and classy.
Give yourself time to heal while you rebuild yourself and maybe then some questions might finally be answered.
Maybe you will see him with another girl or learn that he actually cheated on you.
You just have to keep your cool and shrug it off. He is not worth your time or energy.
You don’t deserve someone who doesn’t value others, especially you. You are worth more.
It might even make you angrier, but you shouldn’t give him that satisfaction of making a scene.
You are so much better than him, and he simply doesn’t deserve to be loved by you.