If you’ve never had the unfortunate chance to date a narcissist, then you must be one of the lucky few. It’s hard to dodge that bullet when you really know nothing about them.
Sure, we’ve all heard the stories and read confessions from both narcissists and their victims. But hearing about them from time to time is not the same as having to deal with them face to face.
People who have dealt with this type of person have a lot of courage. I know I’d want to get out of there as soon as possible.
However, it takes a lot of time and patience to wriggle out of their harsh treatment. After some time spent with a narcissist, you begin to question all of your actions, words, and thoughts.
You don’t even feel like yourself anymore. It’s as if you’ve become someone else, like a puppet that does everything it’s told.
The fortunate few are those who escape the narcissistic abuse. Those who are even luckier are people who’ve managed to heal properly after everything they’ve been subjected to.
What’s even harder than exiting that toxic relationship is deciding to speak up about it. Here we have a couple of confessions from girls who tell us what it’s like to date a narcissist.
Kudos to everyone out there who can openly speak about what they’ve been through and all the stuff that went down between them and their abuser. We can only imagine it must’ve been one of the toughest times of their lives.
Well, let’s find out some information firsthand. And let’s just pray that the consequences aren’t too much for them to bear.
1. It’s exhausting
“Every day it felt like I was being drained of energy more and more. Every hour was exhausting and I was tired the second I’d hang up on him.
It’s not easy to date a narcissist because you’re constantly worrying about the next thing he’s going to do. What’s he going to say, will it hurt my feelings, etc.
I was never content or carefree for one minute. It felt like I was always in a hideout because I didn’t really want to see him. I knew that the moment he laid eyes on me, he’d have something mean to say.
It was a real nightmare to date a narcissist because he took away my adventurous spirit, self-confidence, and my faith in myself.
It’s really exhausting when you have to constantly think about his next step and where it’ll lead. After the breakup, I’m just so grateful for a good night’s sleep and some rest.”
– Anna, 25
2. It’s degrading
“Whenever we were together, I felt like I wasn’t worthy of him. He kind of made me believe that he was way better than me, but he did it so smoothly so I wouldn’t get suspicious.
If you ask me, I still have no idea how he did it, but it’s true. My self-esteem stooped so low that I stopped going out by myself and always relied on him to go somewhere.
It felt humiliating because I was wholeheartedly dependent on him. Deep down, in the back of my mind, I knew that this was exactly what he wanted, which made me feel even worse.
I blamed myself for not being strong enough to make my own decisions and have a separate life from him. But it just didn’t seem possible at the time.
I feel ashamed now that I even let it get to that point. When I look back at my past self, I can’t help but shake my head in disapproval.”
– Melanie, 28
3. It’s unforgettable
“It’s really something I’ll never be able to completely erase from my mind. The experience I got will tell you that it’s not easy to date a narcissist.
They’re so unpredictable. One second you’re laughing and the very next, you find yourself in tears. And all because of something he said or did.
As much as I’d love to delete all of the memories from my mind, I still hold onto some parts. It helps me remember the way I shouldn’t be treated.
Of course, I’m remorseful and I’ll regret the decision to include you in my life for the rest of my days. But, I try to own up to my mistakes and learn from them.
It’s certainly no easy task. But it’s an experience I won’t ever be able to forget, so I try to make the best out of it.”
– Lilian, 26
4. It’s driving you crazy
“The whole time we were together I felt like I was starting to lose my mind. First, it was the love-bombing that persuaded me into thinking he really meant it.
I couldn’t believe my own eyes, and I just knew it was too good to be true. But I just kept blindly believing every word that ever came out of his mouth.
The next strategy he used to drive me crazy is gaslighting. This one really messed with my mind entirely. It’s not for the faint-hearted.
There are many other things he used to do to make me flip. I can’t even remember all of them because right now, it’s all a blur to me.
It all took place for a long time, but it also happened all too quickly for me to grasp the fact that I was about to date a narcissist.”
– Evelyn, 27
5. It’s sad
“It really puts you in this place where you don’t really have a lot of choices. Your options are minimized and you only have a limited amount of tries to get a new start in your life.
It genuinely wrecks you as a person. I’ve never been able to become the person I was before I dated a narcissist.
It ruins your bond with yourself, it breaks your relationship with the people you love most, like family and friends. It’s really powerful, man.
I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone because it’s such a horrible thing for someone to experience. If I stayed there even a day longer, I don’t think I would’ve made it. Maybe it’s just me, but that’s the way I see it.”
– Kate, 27
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