Relationships take a lot of work. There are times when everything’s going well and there are tough times.
Ending a relationship is never easy. It will never be easy no matter how many times you have done that or if the other person broke up with you.
Nevertheless, being in a relationship where you are not being emotionally satisfied is definitely the worst feeling. It will drain you and you will never know the feeling of meeting the love of your life.
The pain and changes that happen after a breakup will definitely get you out of your comfort zone, so you start doing things that you are usually not accustomed to.
Besides that, most of the time, you don’t know how to get over your partner, heal your broken heart, and just move on.
There are certain reactions that seem to be completely normal after a breakup. Heartbreak, grief, and relief are just some of them.
If you are experiencing any of them, don’t be afraid. It’s just a normal emotional reaction to the stress that you have been put under.
Let’s be clear about something. Even if the breakup wasn’t the worst, if it was healthy, still, it’s in human nature to be left with some uncomfortable feelings.
People are wired to seek a connection in a world where sometimes that feels impossible to achieve.
I know, breaking up with someone seems to be the most difficult part, but it’s the aftermath that most women tend to ignore and tend to be wrong about.
I’m not going to say it is going to be easy, because it will not; you will have moments of despair, self-doubt, and questioning whether you have made the right decision and maybe you will start to question life itself.
Needless to say, you will get through it, no matter how hard things feel right now.
Not all breakups are the same. There is no set of rules which you can follow in order to heal.
Nevertheless, these are just some of the things you should not do if you want to emotionally heal:
1. Do not blame yourself
This one is quite straightforward, but definitely one of the hardest things to do.
If you ended the relationship or even if he did, don’t blame yourself, as that is one of the worst things that you can do after a breakup.
If you start blaming yourself, it will have a negative effect on your self-esteem. You will start to be in a very dark emotional place if you do this.
Instead of blaming yourself for something that didn’t work in the first place, start focusing on yourself and on your well-being.
Practice self-love. Learn how to love yourself again and be on your own.
You need to realize that you don’t have to rely on someone else to be emotionally wealthy.
Another thing that people tend to do after a breakup is to assign blame but don’t do that, as it will tear you apart.
Instead, what you can do is reflect on the positive things that happened, and say to yourself that you had some good times and that things just changed.
Blame is never a positive thing for anyone. You should realize that everyone is just trying to survive after a breakup.
Even if that means that your ex has someone new in their life, or if that person is the reason you two broke up, don’t blame them.
Breakup is just like war. Everyone is trying to survive.
2. Don’t seek closure
After a breakup, most people search for closure, for something that will ease their mind and soul.
That perfect conversation with him that will make everything sense, why you had to break up, why you did this or that.
Let’s be real for a second. That perfect conversation should not happen and it never will happen.
Most women will want another encounter with their ex to talk about what happened and maybe to stay friends with him but don’t do that.
In most cases, that conversation will give you the opportunity to spend time with him and potentially get back together, back to the same problems that you had in the first place.
3. Don’t stay in touch with your ex
Sorry to break it to you, but this is a huge no. Staying in touch with your ex is not the way to eventually get over him.
Many relationship coaches will argue that this is the one thing you should never do after a breakup.
If you find yourself wanting him back, it will eventually leave you with a sense of false hope.
If you don’t cut the cords and break off all contact with him, you will never move on.
You will not be emotionally ready to have a new partner if you still talk to him.
Of course, there is the possibility of being friends with him in the future but that possibility arises once both of you have moved on and healed emotionally, when both of you started dating other people.
Don’t contact him for any reason. The significance of not being friends after a breakup is very important.
If you need some advice or someone to talk to, having that one particular friend who will listen to you is a lifesaver.
If you are afraid that he will contact you, things are very simple. Just block his number and delete him and his relatives from your social media.
If he does manage to contact you, don’t feel obligated to respond or reply.
If you have not healed by then, just ignore his messages and remind yourself that you need time to move on.
People are impatient and tend not to give themselves time to reflect and really get over the relationship.
Having your heart broken can feel devastating and because of that, sometimes people will stay in contact with their ex and hope that there is another chance for them to make things work.
4. Don’t rush things
While being single can seem like a shock to you, it is not okay to get back into dating right away.
You shouldn’t be a woman who immediately tries to find someone else on the Internet and post everywhere that you are single.
A lot of people do that but you will be doing yourself a great disservice by doing so.
People want to get back in the game without healing first and giving themselves time to focus and reflect on themselves but you need to give yourself time to learn from the experience and mourn the end of the relationship.
Spending time with your own mind will help you realize what went wrong and you will definitely grow as a person.
Realizing the mistakes that were made in the previous relationship will greatly help you with your next one.
The benefits of not rushing are tremendous. It will help you in the sense that you will not jump into something spontaneous that is doomed to fail again.
You need to give yourself time to mourn a part of your life that is now gone.
Take a deep breath and have some alone time. Don’t think that you will miss out on something if you don’t download Tinder the next day.
5. Don’t be a stalker
In today’s society, this usually has to do with you stalking his social media over and over again.
Social media tends to be an irritating factor when we just want to get over our ex.
In the past, exes rarely saw each other again after a breakup, they didn’t know every single detail of their ex’s life afterward and they would simply move on with their life.
Today, it’s quite different. The possibilities to stalk your ex are endless.
Social media provides an exhaustive amount of information about what’s going on with them.
You need to keep in mind that people share their most precious and beautiful moments on social media but those posts are just beautified attempts to portray their seemingly perfect life.
This fact may help you stop wasting your time examining every single aspect of your ex’s life after the breakup and help you move on.
You must realize that breakups are hard and filled with sadness and pain. Women and men both make mistakes based on how they are feeling.
If you want to move on, do not try to be friends with your ex, don’t follow him or examine every step that he is taking, don’t rush into a new relationship, and don’t be afraid to be alone.
Focus on what your mistakes were and try to be the best version of yourself. If you do that, you will find the love of your life soon enough.