When you meet a guy who’s paying all his attention to you, you can’t help but fall for them. He makes you think you’re all he sees.
If you’ve ever met a soulmate, this is what he looks like, right? Falling in love can hurt, but we’re unaware of it in the beginning, especially when he’s so darn charming.
When you pass that honeymoon phase, though, you begin to feel something’s off. He’s not that into you anymore and seems to be spending less time with you.
He’s not cheating on you, so what is it? If he doesn’t want to break up with you, then what does he want? You feel confused and demand answers, but you’re not getting any.
Unfortunately, I’m afraid you’re dealing with a narcissist. Their fake charm isn’t easy to detect, and before you know it, he’s tricked you into loving him.
You considered yourself smart enough to not fall into this trap. Also, you were warned by your friends and family members to steer clear of people like this.
You never thought this would ever happen to you, yet here you are. Somehow, he managed to creep his way into your world and get under your skin.
This can make you feel trapped, because you don’t know how you got here. It’s like you’ve been living in an illusion all along.
But how is that even possible? You’ve read about all the narcissist red flags and you’re sure you haven’t noticed any.
A narcissist in disguise is one of the worst things that can happen to you. They lure you in and you’re unable to wriggle out of their grip.
In what ways does a narcissist charm you into loving him, and how did you miss them?
This is one of the infamous ways a narcissist charms you into loving him, and you’re oblivious to it! Mirroring is one tactic a narcissist uses, where he reflects your behavior and thoughts.
If you say your favorite color is green, he pipes up with joy. It’s his favorite too! (No, it’s not.) Whatever you say or do, he’s in complete agreement with you.
From the smallest things and likings, to major future plans. It ends up you both want the same number of kids, to travel to the same places, etc.
He supports you in whatever you desire, which deceives you into believing he’s your soulmate. But while you’re thinking how you’re a match made in heaven, he’s just gathering tools to manipulate you!
What better way to get into someone’s mind than be one hundred percent on the same page as them? You become lovers, and while you consider him your best friend and confidant, you only become his narcissistic supply.
You mistake his cunning ways for charm and before you know it, you’re all caught up in his net of lies. He continues with this behavior for as long as necessary.
The end goal is to trick you into believing him and when you give him all your trust, the goal is achieved. From that point on, you’re trapped in a loop of his constant reassuring that his ways are the only right ones.
2. You’re in the spotlight
Your new boyfriend seems to possibly be the best boyfriend ever. He’s always trying to make you feel comfortable and checking in with you to see if everything’s alright.
He constantly showers you with affection, and you never once suspect it’s love-bombing. You’re so caught up in his charming persona that you don’t give it much thought.
You don’t second-guess his actions because he assures you it’s just his way of showing love and appreciation. This only makes you fall for him even more.
You’re seeing a person who’s caring and affectionate. However, you’re not seeing everything that’s under this mask.
Later on, you start to notice how he uses his said love for you to get out of any trouble. When he makes a mistake, it’s because he loves you and didn’t know any better.
All he desires is to make you happy, and he seems to be quite successful. Getting into your head and playing all these mind games with you.
A narcissist is an excellent manipulator and before you know it, you’re in deep. It’s almost impossible to get out of this gripping circle of him hurting and loving you at the same time.
3. He’s remorseful
When he finally starts to show his true face, the alarm bells go off in your head. The sad thing is, it might be too late.
As soon as he sees you discovering his true self, he’ll change his tactics. A narcissist always has a card up his sleeve for any type of situation. He’s ready to jump to plan B in no time.
This will manifest through his guilt for anything he’s done wrong. The regret will be evident and he’ll try with all his might to mend things. But not because he loves you – because he wants to keep you close to him for his needs.
In the end, he’ll end up making you believe you’re just overreacting or making stuff up. You think to yourself you must be going crazy for questioning the person who cares about you.
As a consequence, you will be the one at fault for ever doubting his love for you.
4. He needs you
What’s more attractive than a man who needs a woman to help him? Girls are more on the sensitive side, so we fall for a man in need almost every time.
This is only to his advantage. In fact, it was part of his plan all along. A narcissist will act dependent on you, when it’s actually the other way around.
Your boyfriend might tell you how your presence and help are necessary for his recovery. He may even tell you about his previous toxic relationships that he’s running from.
You’ll feel sorry for him and forgive him for any inconvenience he’s caused so far. This makes him a step ahead of you at all times.
He knows he’s gained your trust and charmed you into loving him. But a narcissist’s I love you isn’t what you’ve been hoping for.