Manipulators are a special breed. They always know what to say to secure their presence in your life.
They know how to lure you in and gain control over you, even when you do your best to resist them.
Their words are simple but they hold great power within them. They know how to spot the right time and place to say something and get things their way.
Even if you blame yourself for falling for them, the fact is that it’s almost impossible to spot a manipulator right away. It takes you a lot of time and energy to realize what their real intentions are and to figure out what they’re actually trying to do.
They play the innocent card and then gain power over you. Once you realize what’s going on, it’s already too late to react, as by that time, you’re in too deep.
The good thing is that you can easily spot a manipulator once you know what to look for. When you’re aware of the words manipulators use to lure you in, you can react accordingly and know who you’re dealing with.
Here’s what you should be on the lookout for.
1. You’re crazy/insane/not right.
This is one of the most manipulative phrases you’ll ever hear and it’s at the core of their existence.
Manipulators usually try to make you see that you’re wrong, even if you’re not. They give their best efforts to show you that you’re being unreasonable.
As a result, they won’t shy away from trying to put your sanity into question. As a real master of manipulation, they will assure you that you’re not thinking straight and that your conclusions are completely inaccurate.
The more you try to resist their words, the stronger they will play the game. Once they break you, they will feel that they finally have power over you and that’s when they are the happiest.
2. I understand you but I’m trying to show you what’s best for us.
This is one of the phrases a manipulator will often use as it allows them to easily gain control over their victim.
At first, they agree with you and act like they understand the way you’re feeling. In a way, they empathize with you because they know it will allow them to overpower you without too much difficulty.
After they pretend to understand your viewpoint, they then play the ‘what’s best for us’ card. They make you imagine that they’re really thinking about what’s best for your situation and that’s why they’re acting the way they are.
Apparently, they’re trying to find a way that works well for both of you but unfortunately, that’s not the reality of the situation. They’re using these words just so they can manipulate you and make you do what they want.
And since you believe that they’re truly looking for the best solution, you’ll follow them blindly, thinking it’s the only way to go.
3. I would never hurt you.
A manipulator will never be open about their true plans because they know you’d run away from them then. Instead, they must pretend that they’re a good guy who could never hurt you.
So, even when you accuse them of something, they’ll put on a mask of a saint and play the victim.
“How could you even think something like that? I would never hurt you! I could never do anything harmful to you!”
In the meantime, they’ll be emotionally hurting you day after day. Their moves will be secretive because they know that they must take everything one step at a time.
And even if they haven’t left any visible physical injuries on your body, they’ve still done great damage that you may not even recognize at first.
So, while you haven’t been able to see bruises on your skin, your mind has been going through abuse that you haven’t been able to spot.
And then, once you try to confront them and let them know how they’re making you feel, they’ll assure you that they would never hurt you.
They could also state that they would never hit you and they don’t understand what you’re trying to say. And while the truth is that they’ve never raised a hand to you, the mental terror you’ve gone through is inexcusable.
4. I said I’m sorry. I don’t understand why you’re still angry.
Manipulators know how to play with you. They know what to say and how to make you forgive them for their actions.
So, besides being masters of delusion, they’re also masters of apologies. Every time they cross the line and you get mad at them, a manipulator will know what to say and how to gain your trust.
Even if you feel that things aren’t the way they’re supposed to be, they’ll make sure to assure you that you’re overreacting.
“I already said I’m sorry. I don’t understand what the issue is.”
This is one of the most well-known sayings of every manipulator. The fact is that they’ll let you know that they’re sorry for what they did but their words will be fake to the bone.
They don’t care that they hurt you and the only thing they want is to gain back their control over you. They want to earn your trust and that’s exactly what they’re trying to do with all of their sweet talk.
In this case, they may change their behavior for a couple of days just to prove to you that they’re a different man. Or they may even try to buy your apology through a gift or an act of kindness they know you’ll appreciate.
But the bottom line is that they’re not doing any of that sincerely. Instead, they’re simply trying to win you over back to their side and keep the manipulation going.
So, if you notice that these words sound familiar and that you’ve been hearing them a lot, there’s a chance that you’ve been dealing with a manipulator.
Maybe they still have their disguise on but you better be careful as there’s a devil hiding under the face of a nice guy.